Love That Blinds
by TheMetaBard
Summary: Kylo Ren/OC. "Don't play ignorant with me." He hissed, his frustration playing on his nerves. The rage that fueled the Dark Side stirred within him, like someone stoking a hot flame. However, Aurelia didn't flinch or move. She just stared. "That's not a really nice thing to say to a host." She countered.
1. Chapter 1

Aurelia had just sat down after stoking the fire in her small, crude pit that was situated in the middle of her one-room hut, when a small earthquake made the tea in her cup vibrate, along with everything else that wasn't secured down. In the ten some-odd years that she spent on this small moon, there had never been any sort of trembling of the rock. This meant something must've crashed on it. Something big.

She jumped to her feet, the fingers of the Force moving out around her hut, feeling for anything hostile. She didn't sense anything. Anything at all. That meant whatever crashed landed on the other side of the moon. It must've been _really_ big to create a tremble like that. She made her way to her doorway, pushing her feet into her sandals and grabbing her walking cane.

The nameless moon that Aurelia resided was one that had been orbiting an abandoned neighboring planet of Alderaan, however was caught up in the blast of the Imperial Death Star many, many years ago and was pushed into the orbit of an asteroid field. It had a very weak atmosphere, but an atmosphere nonetheless that did an okay job of supporting the life of a one person.

That person was now grumbling over her now cold tea as she crossed the grassy plain of her home-world towards a mass that she could feel through the Force get stronger and denser.

"What is this?" She asked aloud as her Force sense moved itself at her will over the surface of what looked to be a small bean-shaped ship. She reached out and touched the metal of the hull. It was still warm from impact. She ran her hands and found a seam that she could grip. With a strong tug, and some help from the Force, a door hissed open.

 _Heartbeat._ Startled, Aurelia stepped back and tripped over a vine, landing hard on her tailbone. There was a person inside of this ship! She jumped back to her feet. He was unconscious but the Force told her that his heartbeat was strong. Her hands found the straps that kept him buckled in to his seat and undid them. A man. He was muscular and solid underneath his armor. Athletic. She touched something hot and wet as she undid the seatbelts. Her hand went to her nose and she could smell the iron of human blood. "What happened to you?" She breathed softly.

* * *

 _Kylo Ren will never be as good as his grandfather._

 _You are a failure._

 _Disgrace._

 _Murderer._

Kylo Ren jolted himself awake, sitting up, the wound in his left side throbbed in protest at the sudden movement. Dizziness and vertigo blurred his vision. Or maybe that was the shooting pain that made his sore and tired muscles scream in anguish. His hands went to his face and he touched something strange. _A bandage?_

"I'd be careful, if I were you, Sitting up like that. That wound almost went straight through. I just got it to a place where the bleeding stopped." Kylo jerked his head to the voice and saw a small, slight girl dressed plainly in brown peasant clothes with long, wavy silvery-white hair. She was crouched, stirring something in a small pot that was suspended over an open flame.

"W-who are you?" Kylo managed between cracked, dry lips. Confusion making his head spin as he tried to recall his last memories before he blacked out. "Where am I?"

"Somewhere." She answered absently and ladled something from the pot into a cup. "I'm Aurelia, the queen of Somewhere." She padded across the dirt floor in her bare feet, and sat down at the edge of the bed. "Drink this."

Aurelia was beautiful in a whimsical, fairytale sort of way, Kylo noted as he took the cup from her hand. She had an oval face and freckles that made unusual constellations across her small nose. Her hair draped over her shoulders and ended at her lap. Her eyes were milky white and they stared through him like she was peering into the depths of his soul. They were captivating, but made him feel self-conscious at the same time. He examined the contents of the cup, forcing himself to look anywhere but her eyes and saw a light green liquid that reminded him of the latrines in the Stormtroopers barracks. His stomach turned in disgust. "What happened?"

She shrugged, her eyebrows raising. "I don't know. I could ask you the same thing."

Memories of the fight with that scavenger girl, Rey, flashed through his mind. The explosion of the Starkiller that the Resistance caused. Sharp pain erupted from his side and he moaned involuntarily, placing his hand over the bandaged wound.

"Drink." Aurelia urged and Kylo felt a small hand grip his and bring the cup to his lips. "It'll take away some of the pain."

"This isn't pain you can take away with an elixir." He managed between clenched teeth. Aurelia's other hand covered his on his wound. There was a powerful burst of the Force from the small girl and then the pain subsided to a dull throb. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Don't play ignorant with me." He hissed, his frustration playing on his nerves. The rage that fueled the Dark Side stirred within him, like someone stoking a hot flame. However, Aurelia didn't flinch or move. She just stared.

"That's not a really nice thing to say to a host." She countered and rose to her feet.

"Where's my armor?" Kylo said as he swung his body around to a sitting position, his wound protesting. He channeled the pain he felt, turned it into rage that fed into his power of the Dark Side. He felt the soreness of his muscles subside and new energy rejuvenate his tired bones. "Where did you hide it?"

"Your armor is over there." Aurelia pointed to the corner of the room where his black garb was piled neatly on the only chair in the room with his com, lightsaber, and helmet were laying on top. "I'm not hiding anything. You're the one that crashed on my planet. I was just trying to help you." Her frustrated tone made the wavy silver hair shake around her arms.

"I don't need help."

"You say that now." She scoffed and crossed her arms. Kylo rose to his feet and remarked at how much taller he was than her, just before dizziness overtook him and caused the room to start to spin. "You're going to walk ten steps and fall over with exhaustion and I'm going to have to drag your body back in here."

"I don't need your help." He repeated and then fell over, his knees giving out along with a good percentage of his consciousness. Aurelia caught him around the waste before he fell headfirst into the fire pit. With strength and precision, she guided him back to the small bed.

"I'll make you some food and tea." She smiled, her eyes crinkling around the edges. "And then you can dominate the galaxy."


	2. Chapter 2

"Kylo." He said between bites of moon-squirrel that he was decimating at the speed of light. It was like he hadn't eaten anything in weeks. Which, might've been the case. _Who knows how long he was floating out there?_ "Kylo Ren."

Aurelia poked at another moon-squirrel in the fire with her fingers, flipping it over. She knew the exact textured to have perfectly cooked moon-squirrel without it tasting charred, which happened all too often due to the high fat content of the small animal, and this one was almost there. "Where did you come from?"

The loud, ravenous chewing stopped. "That's need-to-know." He said finally.

Aurelia bit her lip. This man was unusual. She could feel the Force pulse off of him in waves, even as weak as he was. His wounds were odd. And everywhere on his thin frame. Burns. He was extremely powerful and the power fed off of his reckless emotions, she could deduce that much. But there was something else that she could feel. Something off from the impotent rage that burned inside of him. _Pain?_

She pulled the small rodent off the fire and laid it on Kylo's plate. "Sorry it's not much." She said quietly as she sat down on the edge of the bed, changing the subject. "There isn't many life forms that's edible on this rock."

"It's fine." He said between bites.

There was a lapsed silence. Aurelia could hear Kylo's heartbeat and her own quickened pace to match. There was a push of the Force from Kylo, the third time since he had regained consciousness to dig in her head. Aurelia threw up a shield and he backed off. "Can I ask you something," Kylo said finally. "About your eyes?"

Aurelia could feel the heat in her face. "Yeah, I guess they must look pretty odd."

"Can you not see them?"

She cocked her head to the side. "I can't see anything, actually."

There was silence again. "I couldn't even tell."

She shrugged. "I'm pretty good at taking care of myself. I've been doing it for awhile."

"I have to go. I have people looking for me." There was a shift and she could feel the stranger lift himself to his feet, slower this time, he let himself get his bearings. Loud footsteps made its way across her hut to where her chair sat with his personal belongings on it.

"What hit you?" She asked. "It looked like a pretty deep wound."

There was some silence. "A bowcaster. A weapon that Wookies use."

"I've never met a Wookie." Aurelia regarded. She wondered what they look like. They were probably big to wield a weapon powerful enough to make a wound like that.

There was a ripple in the Force. The Force shield that Kylo Ren had up wavered as he regarded Aurelia one last time. Aurelia seized this opportunity to learn just a tiny bit more about the strange house guest and pierced the chink in his shield with her own powers.

Flashes of faces. Pain. Struggle. Troops in white helmets. Red and blue lights crackling together in heat and energy. _Failure. Disgrace. Murderer. Failure. Disgrace. Murderer._

"Skywalker." Aurelia said suddenly, grabbing on to something familiar in the sea of swirling memories. "I know that name."

* * *

His perfectly balanced shield had gone down in a moment of weakness. Weakness because of foolish sentiment. He had also underestimated this girl's power. A mistake he would not make again. He pushed Aurelia up against the wall of her stone hut with a gesture of his gloved hand. She pushed back with her own power, throwing up a shield with the Force and he was unable to completely paralyze her, but he did stun her.

"How dare you." He hissed under his breath as he pinned her against the wall. Her white eyes were wide and she struggled against the grip. "How dare you enter my mind."

"I'm sorry." She choked against the hold. "I'm sorry." There was a gathering of Force and Aurelia broke the hold on her with a single burst of energy. She threw up a strong shield and and opened her feet to a solid stance behind it.

"Where have you heard that name?"

"From my master."

 _Master?_ "What master? The only known Jedi master is Luke Skywalker and I-,"

"No." She said, all pretenses to defense were gone and moved over to a small chest that sat against the wall. "My master is Sabla-Mandibu, who was a Jedi Healer in the days of the Republic." She pulled out a holocron and set it on the floor. A life-sized Miraluka woman appeared in blue light. She was clad in a robe and had a goggle-like covering over where her eyes should be. Aurelia sat on her knees and played with the holocron until the image shuddered and then started to talk.

 _One case in particular of note was the treatment of Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker after the battle of Geonosis. After sustaining a lightsaber wound that severed his right arm at the elbow, we were able to heal the injury at the severed site. Paired with his own meditative abilities, the would healed at triple the normal rate. However, it is interesting to note that Force healing does not regenerate lost tissue-_

Aurelia turned off the holocron, the artificial figure shuddered and disappeared. "It's an archive of all of her cases and how the Force was used to heal them. Maybe it could help you like it helped me."

Kylo fought the repulsed feeling of listening to a Jedi Knight from a hundred years ago drone on and on about Force healing. Instead he focused on Aurelia who had braided her long, long hair over one shoulder. Her Force shield was still up, but she showed no sign of caution around him as she rose to her feet and stood in front of him with the powered-off holocron. "You can have it." She said, offering it with both of her small, white hands.

"But it's yours." He protested.

"I've listened to it so much that I feel like I've gotten anything I could out of it. You could perhaps use it to learn about this Skywalker? He's mentioned a couple of times. Apparently he was pretty powerful, but also pretty reckless and was in the infirmary a lot."

This was a new side of Darth Vader that Kylo had not heard about. Everyone that had ever known him in person was dead or knew him only as Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith. Even his uncle didn't know anything other than Darth Vader. There were no stories of his childhood. He knew he was a Jedi at one point and then turned to the Dark Side after realizing his own potential. He knew he probably wouldn't be able to use this information, but at least he could learn about his grandfather's history. And maybe his history could help unlock the power that Darth Vader had. The power that Kylo was trying to emulate.

 _You will never be as good as your grandfather._

"Thank you." Kylo said, picking up the holocron.

"I apologize again for prying." She tipped her head down to her feet. "I overstepped my bounds. Whatever your story is, it's yours to share at your will. However, I also understand your pain."

 _Failure. Disgrace. Murderer. You can't ever escape this pain._

The glimmer of rage at Aurelia's last statement burned like an ember. Pain. Pain was an understatement. It was like a constant hell of being caught between the Light and the Dark. The struggle of not being _good enough_. The pain of abandonment. The pain of conscience. The pain of duty. It wasn't pain. It was torture. And Kylo Ren lived it every second of every day. "You don't know pain." He answered, trying to not lash out again at his weak and disabled hostess. He could just kill her and be done with it. And then use her silly hut as a base and wait for the First Order to find him.

She cocked her head, a curly lock of hair falling down around her ear, and the idea of killing her vanished. He couldn't do that. It was not necessary to the mission to eliminate her.

Maybe he could recruit her? That was an idea. She was powerful even with her crude use of the Force. He could unlock the potential in her and they could destroy the new Jedi order and destroy the Light Side once and for all. He would be the Master and she would be the apprentice. Snoke would be pleased with having another powerful Force-wielder on the side of the First Order. "What has this holocron taught you?" He said as he pulled off his gloves with his teeth. The First Order was going to have to wait. They would understand.

"Healing mostly, but the importance of shields. Force telepathy. Force telekinesis. Force Sight to a point. Sabla-Mandibu was trained in combat, but she didn't really use it, so she doesn't really discuss it."

Kylo pulled off his boots and stripped his chest armor off. He threw another bit of wood in the fire and sat down cross-legged next to it, warming his hands against it.

"I thought you were leaving?" Aurelia asked and shifted her weight. The silver hoop that adorned the upper part of her arm gleamed from the light. With the fire dancing off her skin, she looked like spirit from folktales. Kylo reminded himself not to get caught up in aesthetic and to keep his mind on his new mission.

"I want to learn about your powers."

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "You want to learn about my powers." She repeated. "That seems awfully convenient after the confrontation we just had."

"My side still hurts." Kylo said, changing tactics to get her to trust him.

She snorted through her nose. "Because it's not fully healed yet. You were passing out on my floor twenty-four standard hours ago."

"Well, I think I need more healing." Kylo knew he was playing on her emotions. This is what she was skilled at. Her selflessness superseded her instinct. She knew that she probably shouldn't trust him, but she was going to have to to heal him.

"You are the slimiest person I've ever met." She said and shook her head. However, crossed the threshold and knelt down next to Kylo. Her hands were warm as she pulled his undershirt up and revealed the bandaged wound. "You've reopened it." She sighed, a frustrated tone in her voice and she peeled the bandage off.

Kylo hissed at the pain of the air stinging it and the memory of Chewbacca, his father's best friend and co-pilot shooting him. It caused rage and hate to stir inside of him. He closed his eyes and fought the urge to destroy everything within a three-meter radius, until Aurelia soothed it with her healing powers.

"It seems like it's starting to get infected." She said quietly and replaced the bandage. "I'm going to have to go into to the woods and find something to stop the infection from spreading."

"I'll go with you." He said. Even with blank eyes, Aurelia still managed to shoot him a look that said _Not in your life, buddy._ "I insist. I can bring back wood or something."

He watched her contemplate his offer. "Okay. But move slowly and no bending."

* * *

Sorry this story probably sucks major Rodian appendage! Although if you want to review that's cool. Also, tell me how many times you seen TFA so far? That'd be tight.


	3. Chapter 3

The moon that Aurelia affectionately called Somewhere was small enough that she could circumnavigate it in one whole standard day. She had spent the last ten years memorizing every part of it, every stone, tree, and stream. So, when she concluded that Kylo Ren was going to the antibacterial properties of the sap from a pocket tree to halt the infection, she knew the exact location of it. She double-timed her steps and forced Kylo to speed up to keep pace with her. Every once in awhile she could hear a branch whiz by as he kept up his part of the bargain and collected firewood with his Force telekinetic powers.

She sighed internally to herself as the memories that she had dissected from the brief moment that she was allowed in his head played over and over. There were a lot of people. A girl with brown hair. A round droid. An old man. And a furry creature that she assumed was the Wookie that shot him. Soldiers and troops marching in the snow and the desert. Confusion, distortion, delusions. And pain. There was so much pain it made her insides ache just thinking about it.

However, even through the pain and the confusion, Aurelia could deduce two things: The first thing was that Kylo Ren was not a nice guy. He's killed people. Manipulated. Tortured. This was a fact that she could bet her life on. The second thing is that even though he has done all these horrible things, deep down he feels the guilt of his actions. She knew that he would deny it if she asked, but she was almost positive that, that was the case.

 _How do I get in there, Kylo Ren?_

She continued on until she got to the bark of the pocket tree she was looking for. Pocket trees were known for their shallow roots and pockets in their bark that will fill up and then explode with sap. While the sap was poisonous to those who ingested it, it did a pretty good job of killing infections when used on wounds.

Aurelia ran her fingers over the rough surface of the tree and came to a thick pocket that was almost ready to pop with sap. She poked it with her finger, causing a hole in the membrane and gathered the substance in a small carved out bowl. He didn't need a lot for a wound that size, but she gathered extra just in case. Maybe for his other burns that may decide to go septic.

"This is so primitive." He mumbled a couple meters behind Aurelia as he watched her extract bright blue sap from a tree covered in what looked to be boils. Sap that was the going to be used on his bowcaster bolt wound.

"Well, I'm sorry I don't have a bacta tank stashed somewhere." Aurelia answered. "This will have to do until you get back to your people."

He snorted with a chuckle. She wondered to herself what he looked like. She could feel with Force sight that he had a nose, eyes, and mouth. And hair. A lot of hair. But she wondered what his eye color was or what his smile looked like. She bit her as she turned and tripped over a root that was sticking up out of the ground. She braced herself for impact with the rocky soil and tried to keep her bowl of sap from spilling out all over the ground.

Two hands found themselves at the tops of her arms and a warm body vaporized where there wasn't one. Kylo saved her from falling. She could feel the muscles underneath his shirt ripple and she quickly backed up, regaining her footing. And she didn't lose a single drop of the sap. "Sorry about that." She mumbled, hiding her embarrassed face in her hair. "We should get back to the house."

 _He's a bad man._ She reminded herself.

 _But not all bad._

* * *

Kylo Ren fell into pace behind Aurelia as she led them back to her small thatched hut. He would've overtaken her speed by tenfold if his side didn't hurt so much. Actually, it was getting so bad that he broke out into a cold sweat and was panting by the time they got into the warm, one-room home. He dropped the sticks he was carrying on the floor and almost fell over in the process.

Dizziness overtook him and he tried to reach out with the Force to steady himself enough to crash into the bed against the wall. He shivered as Aurelia moved his shirt and removed the bandage, smearing the cerulean goo on his wound. His shuddered as it stung and fought the urge to cry and scream. With skilled hands she redressed the wound with fresh bandages and then covered the hot spot with her palm.

"You shouldn't have gone out. You have a fever." She said, but it sounded distant, like she was shouting into the vacuum of space. "You might hallucinate a little, but the pain will go away in a couple of moments."

Kylo focused on the thatching that made up the ceiling to keep himself from vomiting on the dirt floor. Colors swirled in his line of vision, and his heart raced, but he kept his breathing steady by inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. The pain throbbed through his whole body, making his fingers twitch. He tried to focus on calling the Force, which helped steady his racing mind and it occurred to him through the couple moments of clarity, that his body was responding to Aurelia's skill. He would be dead right now if it wasn't for her.

 _Why did you kill me?_ Han Solo's voice rang clear as day. The words bouncing around in his head like angry insects attacking a Bantha. _Why did you kill me? We were only trying to help you._ The roar of Wookies communicating, a sound that he's known since he was a infant, filled the in the background. The desperate, angry cry he gave when he stabbed-

"No, no, no, no." Kylo called on the Force to get rid of the memories, his hands coming up to his face to block it out. Shove them away. But the fever was too strong. _Why did you kill me? Why did you kill me? Why did you kill me?_ "I had to." He answered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I had to, Dad."

 _Murderer._

"No, no, no." He tried to channel the remorse into rage, let it feed the Dark Side. But the Force was a whisper, a candle flicker a million meters away. He just felt guilt. Sorrow. _Pain_.

 _Why did you kill me? Why did you kill me? Why did you kill me?_

"Kylo," He was being shaken. "Kylo, I'm right here."

He opened his eyes to the angelic beauty of wide blank eyes and silvery-white hair. _It was in my head. All in my head._ He licked his dry lips and struggled to a sitting position.

"Are you okay?"

"Water." He managed to say. "I need water."

Aurelia brought a small wooden cup to his lips and he grabbed it and drank the whole thing, water dribbling down his chin. "How are you feeling?" She tried again, concern knitting her thin eyebrows together as she picked at a bracelet of brown beads around her ankle.

"Better." He answered. He tried searching her with the Force, but all he found was pure worry for his well-being. His own words echoed back to him. _I had to, Dad._ It was foolish to let that simmer to the surface, but he regarded her worry positively, as she was playing right into his hands with him even trying.

"The infection was contained with the pocket tree sap." She nodded. "I'm sorry I couldn't break the fever sooner."

He looked into the empty cup. Even with his malicious intentions of seducing her to the Dark Side, he was really grateful for her presence. It would've been a couple days of that hell without her powers, instead of just a couple of hours. "That's the second time you've saved me."

Her eyes went wide and she looked down at her lap to hide her face. "Maybe the Force has brought us together some way. To help each other." She answered quietly. "Maybe that's why I was created into this galaxy. The Jedi believe that all beings are created with purpose. From the lowly moon-rats to kings of planets. Things don't happen by accident."

Kylo stared at her without shame for just a brief moment. She couldn't see him do it anyway, so he didn't think it to be improper. The way she pushed her wavy hair out of her face to sit behind her ear. The way her lips curved upwards in a small smile. The dash of freckles across her pale face. Her careful grace. On another day, in another life, Kylo could see himself be with a girl like her.

But the only courting he was doing was pulling he to the Dark Side and she was making it all too easy for him.

"Maybe," He responded carefully. "Maybe we were predetermined to find each other. Maybe predetermined for you to join me."

She bristled and yanked the cup out of his hand, standing up she moved across the floor to the bucket against the wall. "You have to be a little bit more open with me as to who you are for me to think you actually want me to join you." She offered the cup and Kylo took it from her, regarding the contents as he swirled it around. She was right, he would have to drop his guard. He didn't like the idea of her inside his head again. _Just a little though._ He reminded himself. _Just enough for her to taste the power of the Dark Side and see the opportunity it held._

* * *

I've see FTA four times and I'm going to see it again today/tomorrow. I say today/tomorrow because it's four-am where I am right now. Four-am. I can't sleep. Maybe I deliver newspapers. Or maybe I'm a vampire. Both theories are unsettling, but I guess it works out for you because you get a chapter when a regular, non-vampire, non-newspaper carrying writer would not give you a chapter. Let me know your theory as to why I'm awake during sleeping hours and your undying gratitude for working around the clock to produce material for your eyeballs to ingest in the comments.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a little past midnight, but you couldn't tell that on Somewhere, as the only natural light source was the star quite a distance away. This always made the small moon somewhat dimly lit, enough to support basic life, but not enough to have a night and a day.

To Aurelia though, since she couldn't see the star that lit her planet, she made up her own day and night. Waking for sixteen hours and going down for eight. Anxiety and restlessness filled her stomach with butterflies, making it very hard for her to find peace enough to sleep. She waited next to the fire until she heard Kylo Ren slip into an exhausted slumber brought on by battling fevers and a day spent on his feet when it should've been spent resting. His even, light snores prompted her to move silently as she slipped on her handmade sandals, and grab her walking stick before making her way quietly into the outside.

The Force made the tall grass of her meadow hum that she could feel wave back and forth with the breeze. The trees sung their own song and so did the creatures that made up fauna of her small home world. It was a familiar symphony of raw Force energy that was neither of the Light or the Dark. It was just organic. And it was the trees and the grasses and the bugs that hopped up and disappeared with every one of Aurelia's footsteps that taught her how to use her own powers.

She listened to the song and climbed her thinking hill. A hill that she determined to be the highest point on Somewhere, and a hill that she spent a lot of her time thinking and meditating and getting lost in the power of the Force.

Her day was spent replaying Kylo's memories over and over in her head. She wasn't sure if she was doing it for her benefit or for his anymore. These were the first tangible faces that she had "seen" in years, even if they were extracted from somebody else's mind. And she sought to conserve every detail out of sheer loneliness and curiosity.

However, there was something else that perturbed her. Something Sabla-Mandibu had said her archives of her case studies: the ability to _heal_ minds. It was a new concept when the Master was alive, but in its basic form, involved entering the affected mind through the Force and moving slowly, healing the illogic, delusions and sickness that caused people to turn to the Dark Side. A treatment that she thought would help Kylo Ren tremendously with his tortured pain that kept his eyes wild and frantic. And kept tortured words bubbled at his lips.

 _I had to, Dad._

She shivered, letting her hands smooth her hair down, while trying to smooth down her nerves at the same time. The only problem with it was that the subject had to be completely trusting of the individual doing it, as Force shields caused the ejection of the healer and the process then had to be started over. And she was pretty sure Kylo didn't trust anyone. A side-effect of mistreatment, she assumed. Especially not her, for entering his head at the first chance.

Aurelia sighed and leaned back on her elbows, listening to the chirp of the indigenous insects in the grasses. Her feet dangled off the edge of the low cliff and she waved them around, letting the breeze tickle her exposed toes. Even if he agreed, she concluded, she wasn't even sure she was powerful enough for mental healing. She wasn't sure if she was powerful enough to face the kind of demons Kylo had locked away. What would happen then, too if she succeeded in alleviating the pain?

 _What do you_ want _to happen?_

That was an awfully complicated question. He said there were people looking for him. Good people? Bad people? Would they be able to find him in this asteroid belt? Would he go with them? Did she _want_ him to go with them? She bit her lip and tried to come up with a logical answer to her own question. _He was a bad man._ This was true. Even incapacitated, he was still trying to manipulate her to join him in the Dark Side. _He was a bad man._ She didn't understand why she had to keep reminding herself of this fact.

"Am I supposed to help you, Kylo Ren?" She said quietly aloud to herself. The words caught up with the breeze and disappeared into the black void that made up her sense of sight. She wasn't sure if she was asking the Force or herself at this point. She did the only thing she knew how to do and closed her eyes, cleared her mind and let herself go in the Force.

" _It's curious how history repeats itself." A low voice said menacingly._

 _"I don't regret anything." She heard her voice round out words she felt like she has said a million times. They were familiar in her mouth, but this time they had a new taste. There was a fervent determined flavor in them._

 _The low voice chuckled slowly. "Remember those words when your will to live vanishes and it crushes you under its weight."_

She jumped out of her reverie, unsure what she had just heard. The low, vile laugh filled with venom and malice still echoed in her head. What did it mean? What did it mean? She could feel Kylo's presence in the Force grow stronger as he slept heavily in her home. She could feel a nightmare quicken his pulse that she could hear, even hundreds of meters away.

Every time his heartbeat quickened with the pain he kept so well-hidden behind walls made by the Force, she felt herself feeling more and more concerned for him and his wellbeing.

If only he reciprocated those feelings.

She knew that he didn't. Maybe artificially, but only enough to recruit her into whatever organization he was associated with. She didn't care for whatever political game he was playing with the bigger worlds anyway. Caught between the Dark and the Light. Through her holocron, the Light seemed enduring, and maybe even a bit resigned. Which, I guess to someone who craved power, wouldn't be enough. Being a simple monk healing people or recording knowledge, wouldn't have the authority to someone like Kylo Ren, who fed off of emotion and passion. The Dark seemed so unstable and so volatile, though. That's what Aurelia was unsure and scared about the most. If she got in there, would his emotions take over? Would she actually be able to heal? Or would they try to dominate her?

She trembled a little. Maybe in time, he would have the same feelings for her as she did for him. Then he would trust her enough to let her help him.

 _I don't regret anything._

Her breath caught into her throat. What was she going to do for him that would cause her to say those words so fiercely?

"I am supposed to help you." She sighed, answering her own question with the help of the Force.


	5. Chapter 5

Kylo woke up shivering. He wasn't sure if it was chills or if the planet was actually just cold, but the fire in the middle of the room looked welcoming. He didn't understand why the girl chose to stay here. She was living like an ewok from the planet Endor. Actually, he was pretty sure that this was more primitive than that. Unless she didn't have anywhere else to go, which would actually be a beneficial in convincing her to join him. Companionship was a craving of primal human nature.

He smirked and rose his eyes, noticing that the silver-haired girl was missing from the one-room house. He sat up to sitting position suddenly, his bare feet hitting the cold floor. A wave of needless panic washed over him. _Where did she go? Did she run away?_

" _My darling was Rodian, oh, she was not very kind. She always took my money, but I couldn't say I mind._ _My darling, oh, I loved her, even robbed me blind…"_ The bar song Kylo recognized from the Stormtrooper barracks in the ships. However, the voice that filled his ears was smaller and lighter. Kylo watched as Aurelia came in through the door, kicking her shoes off at the doorway. She had some fish dangling from a rope tied around her arm and a small bag thrown over her shoulder. " _My darling was Rodian, oh, she was not very kind."_

"You're up early." Kylo remarked and stood up, grabbing the rope of fish from her hand and hung it from a hook jammed into the ceiling that sat a couple inches over his head.

Aurelia spun. "I didn't actually sleep last night." She confessed sheepishly. "So I went out and found us some breakfast." She pulled the bag off of her shoulder and tipped it to show the red and purple berries she gathered. "How are you feeling?" The back of her hand suddenly found his cheek and then moved to his forehead, judging his temperature. It brushed his new scar that he obtained while fighting the scavenger from Jakku. Kylo shuddered slightly at the light touch. He missed touches like that. Intimacy. He hesitated for just a moment as her hand lingered against his cheek.

"I feel okay." He said finally and her hand dropped.

"You have a nice face." She said, smiling a little.

He opened his mouth, for the first time in a long time, he was unable to come up with a response. He did such a good job of cultivating this image of intimidation and fear while keeping all of his emotions, save disgust and annoyance, hidden from the First Order. But one intimate touch from a stranger he met only days ago and all of the façade seemed foolish.

He quickly recomposed himself. Moments of weakness were getting more frequent in front of her and he needed to change that to convey an image of authority and power. Besides, there was no use in affection. Feelings of attachment were archaic survival mechanisms. They had no use to the Dark Side. It just made it harder and more painful to sever ties later.

"We should get these fish on a fire."

After the breakfast of wild berries and fish, Aurelia sat on the floor and started weaving a basket out of dried, ripped fibers from a tree. Kylo sat and watched across the ever-burning fire, keeping himself warm by the flames, his knees pulled to his chest. He thought about his plan to seduce her into his fold. She wove the fibers in and out, her hands moving quickly, breaking only long enough to push her long hair out of her face. He could feel the power of the Force radiate around her, creating an invisible halo of control and grace automatically. It was wild though, untamed and he knew she was capable of so much more.

She could be so useful to him. And he could show her how to channel her abilities into something greater. He could teach her the ways of the Force beyond her imagination. They could be the most powerful couple in the galaxy. He thought about her, by his side. His partner. His _queen._ His mouth dropped open a little and he ran his tongue over his lip, thinking about what her pretty mouth tasted like and wondered how her hair smelled like. "Come with me." He said suddenly without thinking about it.

She froze mid-weave, her fingers entwined in the fibers of the unfinished basket. Her eyebrows knitted together, but her head was blank, a wall prevented him from reading her thoughts. "Why?"

He contemplated her question for a moment before answering. He thought about his moment of lustful thoughts. _Because I can see you next to me in power._ He also pushed the Dark Side out, trying to seduce her with emotions of restlessness and hunger. "Because I can teach you how to use your abilities in ways you could only dream about."

Her shoulders and resumed weaving, snorting a little at his response. "I don't know why I thought your answer would be different." She said softly.

His eyebrows knitted together and he tried pushing the power out again, making it stronger. He tried to dig into her mind, to see what she desired most, trying to read her emotions. His excavating was in vain. She was guarded, he couldn't find very much. There were memories in there that he could see from when she was very young, but they were distant and hazy and of no use to him. There was no greater desire of ability or power or knowledge. She was content to be a healer, guided by a recording. She wasn't pleased to be alone on this moon, but she had accepted it. It was like she was comfortable with her fate. No motivation other than being a kindhearted person that he could manipulate to his advantage. There was one desire though, Kylo Ren could feel it. If he just pushed a little harder…

"Are you done searching through my head?" She asked as absently as one would ask if they would like some sweetener with their tea as she finished her basket and set it next to her on the floor. He pulled back and looked out the door that laid open, an asteroid passed his line of vision, hitting the atmosphere and bouncing off.

"Where do you come from?" He asked.

"I was the daughter of Alderaan refugees that managed to escape before the planet was destroyed by the Death Star." She answered and stoked the fire pit. "Unfortunately, the coordinates mechanism on the ship malfunctioned and the group was stranded in deep space, unable to get back to civilization. Now, wasn't that so much easier than sifting through my memories?" She teased.

"How did you get separated?" Kylo asked, not bothering to rise to her attempt at banter.

"Well, being stranded out in space with no food or water or hope of rescue takes a toll on people." She said, her eyes staring through the fire into Kylo's chest. He shuddered with self-consciousness, even though he knew that they couldn't see anything. "A couple people resorted to cannibalism and contracted the Shivers, and then infected the rest of the refugees, including me." She made a thoughtful noise. "My parents decided that the only way I could survive was if I got off the ship. So they placed me on an escape pod and sent me out. I landed on this moon."

"Don't you miss them?"

"Do you miss _your_ parents?"

The rusty vibroblade of remorse stabbed his center and twisted as the memories he kept so violently shut out clawed their way to the surface of his consciousness. Tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision, but he could still so clearly see the look of betrayal and his own reflection of hatred in his father's eyes before he fell. Rage. Impotent rage replaced the feelings of remorse. He forced them too. He rose to his feet and grabbed the first thing in his path with the Force, which happened to be the basket that Aurelia had just finished and smashed it against the wall of the hut. His lightsaber made his way to his hand from its resting place on its chair and it crackled to life. He examined the bright red blades of his homemade lightsaber and reveled in the way the blade seemed unstable. The venting in the crossguard made his hand hot, and he directed that physical pain into his rage.

Aurelia didn't budge from her position next to the fire, even when the lightsaber filled the room with the hum of electricity. Her hair had fallen into her face and her eyes continued to stare through him. Judging him. Or worse: feeling sorry for him. _Why?_ Why does this girl have to taunt him like this? Every other living being would run and hide at the sight of him wielding his lightsaber. She sat there, her aggressively casual posture snapped his temper beyond reason and sent him into crazed outburst. He flicked the lightsaber around in a spinning flourish and brought it down on top of her. In one quick motion she dodged the attack, summersaulting over and rose to her feet. He let out a cry of frustration and attacked again, she maneuvered quickly, almost too quick to comprehend without the Force, and dodged the second outburst.

"I can help you," she said as she slipped through the door of the hut into the open field. Kylo followed blindly. "I can help you let go of all of this emotion you have bottled up."

"Emotion makes me powerful." He said and struck again. He was always a nanosecond too slow as she ducked and dodged his advances. How can she do this? How can she be so good at this? _She was blind!_

"Who is Han Solo?" She asked as she spun around the red arc of his blade as he continued to step forward, charging her again and again. For a split second she was a blur of white hair and then she stopped at his elbow. Her eyes were still blank, but she chewed on her lip uncertainly. Kylo Ren couldn't believe his ears. Not only could she focus the Force so well that she could foresee his assaults, but she was in his head as he let down his shield momentarily to channel his power into his attacks. "Han Solo is your father." She answered her own question as she jumped backwards just centimeters away from the edge of his blade.

She was hiding her power. She was trained. Trained beyond her skill that she presented the last ten days he was on this godforsaken moon. She knew what she was doing and it made Kylo _very angry._ "You killed Han Solo." She said quietly, empathetically.

"Get out of my head!" He screamed and attacked in a flurry of wild swings that made impact with the surrounding foliage and no impact with his target.

"Why do you keep all of this pain bottled up?" She asked, on the other side of where he had originally attacked. She spun quickly, running up the side of a tree, becoming parallel with the ground for a millisecond before turning quickly and landing on a branch. _Now she had the higher ground._ "Why do you torture yourself like this?"

Kylo Ren gathered the Force and managed to jump three meters into the air and land on the thick branch that Aurelia was perched on. She moved backwards, her bare feet gripping the grey wood. He had her caught now, there was the edge of this tree branch and nowhere else to go. "Why are you so insistent on helping me?" He jumped forward and to his amazement, he watched her backflip off the branch, grab a branch to break her fall and then swing to the ground, landing softly on the balls of her feet.

"Because I understand the pain you feel."

Rage blinded him for a second. He hit the wound on his side that was almost healed to focus his fury, causing it to split open yet again. _She would never understand the pain I feel._ He jumped down, but miscalculated and managed to tumble head over heels. In a flash he jumped to his feet and spun around to Aurelia standing behind him, her weight on one hip. "Why don't you fight me?" He hissed.

She snorted and dodged another wild swing. She jumped, and with one foot managed to connect with one of Kylo's shoulders, pushing herself off of him like a springboard and flipped so close that her hair whipped him in the face before landing on the other side of him. "I don't fight." He could feel the Force pulse off of her in waves as she regarded him for a moment.

Even through his berserking craze and the blinding pain that he only barely managed to channel into his powers, Kylo Ren saw this as an opportunity to shift Aurelia's loyalties. "I could teach you to fight." He offered and spun around to face her. "I can teach you how to control people using the Force."

Her hands came up, and Kylo froze, the adrenaline pumped through his veins, his heart beating fast. But he couldn't move his limbs. Involuntarily he dropped his three-bladed lightsaber, it turning off on impact. "I don't want to fight you because I consider you my friend."

He underestimated her power again. This was twice now in one fight.

Kylo steamed at the thought of being defeated by a blind girl half of his size. She wasn't even armed. She approached, no caution in her steps, no worry of a counterattack on her face. She was serene. She was in control. And there was no rage in her. No emotion to fuel her power. Her power was just _natural_. The only emotion he could feel was the sympathy she felt for him. And something else? Affection?

His lightsaber flew from his side to about thirty feet away in the meadow with a gesture of her hand. She let go of the hold on him and he slumped to his knees. He breathed hard, unwilling to accept loss and started gathering his dark powers again. She crouched down, leaning forward on her toes in front of him and hugged her knees, close enough that he could grab her by the throat if he wanted to. He looked up, his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and he planned his next move. She stared through him, and leaned her chin on her arms in front of her.

"Remorse has a lot of faces." She said quietly. "But the only one it can't wear is acceptance. Then it's no longer remorse, it's evilness. I don't think you're evil, Kylo Ren. Not yet."

The rage that burned cooled down enough that he regarded her only as an inconvenience, instead of a threat. A stumbling block on his road to power. She was not going to join him, he concluded and therefore no longer useful to him. "I'm leaving." He said and got to his feet.

She stayed crouched on the ground in front of her small house, and in one last glance, he was startled to see tears.

* * *

Hello friend, if you want to see Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) say the "fuck" word a lot and get naked on screen I suggest watching a couple episodes of "Girls" I used to be a fan of the show before I saw TFA and now watching "Girls" just makes me laugh until tears come out of my tear holes. Here's a great quote from the show that Adam says: "You're a dirty little whore and I'm gonna send you home to your parents covered in cum." Isn't that just, dialogue gold? Also, Reylo shippers will be satisfied to know that hankypanky with Rey is definitely more attractive than hankypanky with Lena Dunham and her weird, lumpy butt.


	6. Chapter 6

Aurelia sat in the meadow, fighting the urge to weep. The fight with Kylo Ren allowed her to search beyond his immediate memories. She could see the chasm that made up his consciousness. The lies he told himself to keep himself suspended over that pit of despair. It resembled the one that he pushed his father into after sliding his lightsaber out of his chest. This gave Aurelia the clue that even though Kylo Ren fed off of the delusion that he was a malicious and unapologetic, he still had a conscience and it was eating at him. Threatening to destroy him from the inside out.

He regarded her for a second after donning his armor and finding his lightsaber, ending their short relationship with a disgusted scoff. Aurelia didn't move to the gesture. There was no point. She just continued to meditate in the middle of her meadow and continued to fight back the urge to cry.

She listened to his heartbeat until it faded into the distance towards the dark side of the moon where life ceased to grow and craters pockmarked the earth. He didn't look back; she would've felt it. And it made the separation all the harder, she though.

He had guilt but he was too far gone. The Dark Side had consumed him.

* * *

Kylo Ren made his way to what he assumed was the polar opposite of where Aurelia's hut stood on this horrible, little planet. He noticed the topography change from meadows and woods to dull gray rock and large, round craters. It was also darker on the other side of her moon, shielded from the light of the star the asteroid belt orbited around.

Kylo didn't dwell on the geography he was moving through and instead dwelled on Aurelia's words: _I don't think you're evil, Kylo Ren. Not yet._

 _Murderer._

Kylo stopped and kicked a rock out of frustration, watching the dust rise and then settle again against the dark horizon. Why was she so damn infuriating? He needed off of this planet. It was driving him mad. He needed to get back to the First Order with the Knights of Ren and resume destroying the Resistance. This was as good of a place as any, he concluded as he glanced around at his surroundings. He switched on the tracking device of his comlink. The First Order would get his signal, track down his coordinates and send a squadron to find him.

 _Ben._

He wheeled around at the sound of his old name, but there was no one there. He was alone on the edge of a crater on the other side of the moon. He pushed out with the Force, but the only life he felt was Aurelia in her meadow.

 _Ben. Listen to the girl._

It sounded like Han Solo. Remorse twisted around in his stomach and made him gulp involuntarily with pain.

 _Murderer._

He wondered if he would ever be free of this nightmare. Ever free of the demons that continued to hinder his path for power.

 _You don't want power. You want forgiveness._

"Stop it." He screamed into the night sky. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." He tried to call on the wisdom of Snoke, turn his guilt into rage, imagine what his grandfather, Darth Vader would do in this instance, but the only face that filled his mind was Aurelia's.

 _I don't think you're evil, Kylo Ren. Not yet._

He dropped his comlink on the ground and placed both hands on the side of his face. He had to escape this somehow. His hand went to the wound at his side and he bashed it with the heel of his hand until the physical pain made his vision go blurry and spotty. The physical pain could cover up the mental anguish. At least, momentarily. It was his only escape the consuming feeling of guilt that kept him from reaching his true-

 _Ben._

He jumped back to his feet, his side on fire. The voice was changing pitch and accent. He wheeled around and was met with a tall figure with dark hair and a dark beard. He was dressed in simple robes and Kylo noticed a lightsaber clipped to his belt. His eyes sparkled and danced and he gave a small, knowing smile.

"Who are you?" Ben narrowed his eyes at the stranger, his hand instinctively moving towards his lightsaber.

"Ben." He answered, but didn't move at all. "The older Ben, I'm afraid. Your namesake."

"My name is not Ben." Kylo answered curtly.

The figured touched his beard thoughtfully. "We have something both in common then." He chuckled lightly. "My name is actually Obi-Wan Kenobi. I knew your father. And your grandfather."

"You're dead." Kylo said automatically, unwilling to believe that this young man was the Ben Kenobi that his Uncle would talk about during lessons when he was his apprentice.

"Well, that's correct in a physical way, I suppose." He said like he was reflecting on what he had for dinner. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here." He waved his hands around. "You need to go back to that girl."

"I'm not going back to that girl."

The robed figure tsk'd with his tongue. "Your destiny is intertwined with hers. You two are connected by the Force and you may not want to believe it, but she can help you as much as you can help her. It was no coincidence that you landed on this moon, Ben Solo. You feel the pull to the Light, she can help you get back there."

"There's no Light in me." Kylo said lowly, the anger in the pit of his stomach burning low and hot.

"But there is pain, no? An ache of a magnitude you can't even control anymore." Ben said softly. "The Light can get rid of your pain."

Kylo chewed on his lower lip, his resolve wavering. His mine played back her questions. _Why do you keep all of this pain bottled up? Why do you torture yourself like this?_ "How can I know I can trust you?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "My boy, you're powerful. You may even be more powerful than Darth Vader. But this path to the Dark Side will only bring you despair. Your grandfather only realized this in the last moments of his life. I'm here to warn you so you don't follow the same path."

"But Darth Vader was-,"

"Go back to the girl. She will show you the truth." The figured disappeared in a flash of light and Kylo was left with his confused, uncertain thoughts.

* * *

While Ben Kenobi was who I settled on to provide Ren with his epiphany, there were others in the running to fill his place in case he got sick or something.

Some others that were considered but didn't make the cut:

-Greedo

-Boba Fett's left nipple

-Jar Jar Binks

-Oprah Winfrey

-Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez

-The Queen of England

-Your Mom

-#Kanye2020

-Some bitch named Deltrese


	7. Chapter 7

General Hux paced up and down the line of lieutenants that fervently ran the gigantic Star Destroyer ship. They knew better than to glance up when the dark, tense figure leaned in close to look at their readings and instead focused on their specific tasks at hand, communicating with the heads of their department through their comlinks.

"General," There was an interruption in the low murmurs as one lieutenant that was in charge of the radars that tracked signals straightened up. "Kylo Ren has activated his distress beacon."

The tall, light-haired general crossed the platform to the young lieutenant to peer over her shoulder. The signal was coming from inside the Fondor III asteroid belt.

"Is there any known sentient life forms in that system?"

"None, sir."

According to Supreme Leader Snoke, was top priority to find the missing Kylo Ren and it had been eight days with absolutely no sign that he was even still alive. However, the general's loyal workers poured over maps and radars, hoping to find a sign of the young Force-wielder. And now he activates his distress beacon at his own leisure. _Lovely._

General Hux reflected on how much peaceful it had been since the young apprentice went missing and how unappealing the idea of bringing him back sounded. He had secretly hoped that the ill-tempered boy was lost forever.

"Orders, sir?" Captain Phasma, the Stormtrooper commander dressed in a chrome uniform said coolly, as her presence vaporized behind and slightly left of the General.

"Send a detachment to find him." The general said bitterly. It was what was expected on location of the boy. Maybe the squadron would be destroyed in the process and the General could conclude that it was "too dangerous" to find him.

Yes, that sounded good.


	8. Chapter 8

Aurelia heard his heartbeat before hearing his footsteps. While she didn't expect him to come back, she couldn't help herself from smiling when the familiar sound of his fast heartbeat filled her ears. He climbed her thinking hill slowly, his boots making soft sounds in the tall grass and stopped a couple meters behind her. She could feel his eyes bore into the back of her head, but she dared not move from her position on the edge of her hill.

"I sorry," He started awkwardly. "I'm sorry for…losing my temper."

"Why did you come back?" She asked quietly, almost a whisper.

"Someone told me that you could show me the truth." He answered with about the same level of volume. If they weren't so Force sensitive, their words would've just gotten lost in the breeze.

 _He wasn't gone after all._ Tears choked her and she rose to her feet, but didn't cross the space that separated them. She was so happy to be wrong. So, so happy. She could feel his confusion and uncertainty pulse off of him in waves. "I have to have your complete trust."

She could feel his hesitation. "I don't want to feel this pain anymore." He finally answered and moved closer to her. She led him to the side of the hill and they both sat down. Aurelia could fee her hair being whipped in the wind. She imagined his doing the same as she grabbed his gloved hands.

"You have to let me in completely." She said as she felt the heat in his fingers. "Or it's not going to work."

"Are you sure that you can do this?" He whispered back, a new emotion in his voice. She could feel the ache deep in his being.

She bit her lip. She wasn't sure of anything at the moment, except that she _needed_ to help him. It was why she was here, in this moment in time. That fact was apparent through the Force. "I'm sure." She said finally, letting the Force fill her chest with confidence and determination.

"Okay. I'm ready." At his affirmation, Aurelia reached up and ran her hands over Kylo's face, feeling his angular cheekbones and his pulse beneath his skin. he stiffened and Aurelia prodded the shield he had put up with her powers. She stopped touching him.

"Kylo," She started. "Please work with me."

"I'm sorry." He said. "I…haven't been touched like that in a long time. It was unexpected."

"I'm going to get pretty intimate here." Aurelia explained. "I'd thought I get you warmed up."

His cheeks flushed red, but his body relaxed underneath her hands. "Okay."

Aurelia started again. She could feel the carterized burn that ran from his cheek to his forehead. He pushed his head into her touch, running his lips over the inside of her wrist. Her heart skilled a beat at this startling, sensual gesture. But, she didn't dwell on that. She had a mission. Gathering as much Force energy as she could, she moved her hands up into his long, curly hair to rest on the sides of his temples. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for what she was going to find.

Aurelia inhaled and with a burst of energy, she was inside and was met with fire. She squinted against the bright light from blaze, letting herself get used to seeing more than dark outlines and life forces. She floated over a pit of blue and red flames that threatened to lick at her heels and consume her from the feet up.

 _Rage._ This was the product of all of his other emotions, she concluded. This would have to be exterminated first.

She mustered the Force again. Her training from Sabla-Mandibu's holocron suggested that logic was the best way to combat malicious and reckless emotions. Peace was the opposite of rage. Rage produced passion. Kylo used passion to fuel his powers.

Aurelia walked around in mid-air above the flames, trying to decide what also produced passion, but wasn't destructive like unchecked anger.

 _Love?_

"Really?" Aurelia groaned to herself. "We couldn't have waited for this part?"

Aurelia bit her lip. She wasn't sure if she was entirely ready for what she was about to do. Although the Force let her know in its unforgiving way that it was correct way to get rid of this inferno below her.

She let the Force fill her with compassion and she closed her eyes and confessed the desires of her heart. "I love Kylo Ren unconditionally." She uttered quietly and opened her eyes to the flames disappearing towards the center of the room. "I love Kylo Ren unconditionally." She repeated a little louder. She watched as the gigantic blaze disappeared into a small candle in the middle of the dark room. She bent over the candle, hugging her knees, and watched the little flame flicker. _A little anger was okay._ she thought. _If it was used in the correct way._

"You love me?"

Suddenly, Aurelia was thrown of Kylo's head, as he shook her hands off of his temples. Frustration rose in her chest at the interruption. "Yes, of course I love you." She answered quickly as she had to re-prepare the amount of Force necessary to continue her mission.

"Aurelia, I-,"

"Kylo, let me do this." With that he let her back in, this time she shoved her forehead against his and tangled her fingers into his curly hair. _No more inhibitions._ She could feel his breathing quicken and it felt hot against her lips. He was not allowed to break off again, otherwise the healing would be incomplete and Kylo Ren would still be caught between the Light and the Dark.

This time she found herself on a planet with bright blue skies, dark trees, and a crisp breeze that whipped Aurelia's hair into her face. _This was one of the bases for the Resistance._ She thought, as information about his memories flooded into her so quick it made her head spin a little.

 _Mommy, look at my ship!_

A small, curly-haired child ran past Aurelia into an open-air structure that was coming in clearer and clearer with every passing second. He held a toy ship like it was flying and collided it into the hip of a young woman who leaned over a control panel. _Leia Organa. Mother. Wife to Han Solo. Sister to Luke Skywalker. Resistance general. Princess of Alderaan._

 _That's great, Ben._

 _Mommy, when's Dad coming home so I can show him my ship?_

He wrapped his arm around her thigh and glanced through Aurelia. His eyes were wide and knowing and his smile was crooked like his father's.

 _I don't know, honey._ She responded in a distracted tone. _Why don't you go play with Threepio?_

Aurelia watched the memory with fascination and analysis.

The scene changed and now she was in a large room and was surrounded by children of all different races and colors, no older than twelve or thirteen. _Luke's Jedi academy._ As she focused on faces, names pervaded her train of thought. They sat on their knees in a circle. Aurelia picked out the young Ben that was over to the side, his head down as a man with a salt and pepper beard pace up and down in front of the children. That was his uncle, Luke Skywalker. _Rebellion Hero. Pilot. Jedi. Trained by Ben Kenobi and Master Yoda._

 _Who can tell Ben why it is unacceptable to fight in the dormitories?_

 _There is no chaos, there is harmony._ They all said at once.

 _But, Uncle, they were picking fights-_

 _You may call me 'Master'-_

The scene shifted again and it was the same room, except Ben looked much older, almost fifteen or sixteen, and so did his uncle.

 _You are powerful, Ben. However, I'm not authorizing you to leave this temple with the others._

 _But, Master I want to help the Resistance against the First Order!_

 _No. You're powerful, but you let your emotion take over too often. You have to practice not losing control over your passions._

The two disappeared and left Aurelia alone in the room in darkness. These were his childhood memories. The memories that shaped him into the adult he is today. The memories he chooses to dwell on and feed his hate against his family and against the Light side. Aurelia sighed. The best way to combat the past was to look towards the future. She called on the Force to project an image on the dark walls of this part of his mind. Images that were just glimpses enough to show how foolish he was to harness such hate against the those who loved him most.

She watched the projection as it happened. Ben Solo on his knees, his mother crying into his shoulder. He dangling off an edge precariously, a dark-skinned man holding onto him by one arm and then pulling him up. He standing in front of a memorial stone with Han Solo's name on it, tears in his eyes.

The projection stopped and Aurelia gathered the Force and moved on.


	9. Chapter 9

She appeared in a large empty room, gigantic figure which she recognized as Snoke, Ben's master and manipulator in the Dark Side, sitting in throne on one side of the room. He was ugly, with grey leathery skin and a balding head. His face was distorted too, a reflection of his insides. She turned around and saw another figure, dressed in all black with a mask which she recognized as Darth Vader. _Ben's grandfather._ Each figure was about fifty meters tall and dominated each part of this room. Aurelia pushed the intimidation and fear out of her chest, meditating on the Force for a moment.

Snoke was the supreme exploiter. He was skilled in controlling Ben by amplifying his fears and guilt with the Force. And by that, harvesting this self-loathing that Ben had that was so strong, it made Aurelia nauseous with sorrow. It kept Kylo Ren vengeful, yet subservient and let Snoke use him as his puppet to do his will, only him using to further his own selfish causes and nothing else.

She turned to Snoke first. "You monster."

"The only monster is the one I created." He barked with a laugh, and held up what looked to be a grotesque marionette of a Ben on strings. Aurelia's jaw dropped at the sight and she could feel anger burn inside of her at the thought of Snoke's mistreatment.

"No, he's going to be free of your hold." She channeled the Force, digging into the pits of Ben's conscious that knew that there was no truth in Snoke, that he was feeding him delusions and intensifying his traits he hated most. She pulled it to a surface, and like a mighty wave in an ocean, it crashed over Snoke, burning him out of existence. Aurelia watched satisfactorily as Snoke disappeared, along with the puppet. She spun on her heels, and was met with Darth Vader's black boots.

"And you." Aurelia pointed at the large, hulking figure. The room filled with the sounds of steady, labored breathing aided by a machine as it regarded her blankly through its mask. "It's time he knew about you." She closed her eyes and meditated, sifting through the events of long ago. She focused in on Darth Vader's impact on the timeline of the Force, his handprint in history. She found what she was looking for, his reemergence to the Light.

She opened her eyes and broadcasted the events into his consciousness, letting it fill the dark parts of his mind. A much younger Luke Skywalker was crouching over Darth Vader as the room around them threatened to collapse.

 _I'll not leave you here._ Luke breathed, tears in his eyes. _I've got to save you._

 _You already have, Luke._

Vader destroyed the Emperor. In his last moments he saw the Light. Aurelia looked up to see that the giant had shrunk down to a young man with sad, wise eyes dressed in a robe.

"Anakin Skywalker." Aurelia smiled at the image of the Jedi Knight. "I know a lot about you."

He gave a small, knowing smile. "Sabla-Mandibu had no tolerance for recklessness. But she also liked to exaggerate a little bit." He shook wavy blonde hair off of his forehead and his eyes flashed. "Thank you for saving my grandson." With that he disappeared into the Force, leaving only fingerprints of the truth and paternal love in this now empty room.

Aurelia gave a small sigh of confidence, letting herself just a brief moment of congratulations before moving on. She was doing a lot better than she had expected. She felt outside of Ben's mind for a second, and could somewhat still feel Ben's forehead against hers, his hands gripping the loose, homespun shirt on her back, his breathing ragged as he was methodically stripped of the Dark Side.

"Don't worry, it's almost over." She whispered as she could feel is emotions churning in his stomach and his pulse in his ears.

There was a snarling, animal-like noise behind her and she turned to see a distorted Ben chained to the ground. His eyes were as wild as his hair, and there were multiple self-inflicted scars across his body. He pulled at his chains, and made an advance at her, snot and sputum bubbling at his mouth. But she managed to stand just out of his reach. _This must be his temper._ _Ill-contained and wild._ She bit her lip, and for the first time felt unsure about how to proceed with this crazed side of his personality. Logically, tempers were lack of patience. However, Aurelia's holocron made it perfectly clear that patience was something only the individual had to learn on their own.

She regarded this peculiar Ben for a moment and then lowered herself into a meditative position, letting it's snarling and growling fade into the background. She called on the Force to guide her, however the Force wasn't giving her any ideas that seemed obvious. She furrowed her brow and dug harder feeling for an explanation, that's when she noticed that Temper had stopped growling. She opened one eye and saw the figure sitting on the ground mimicking her meditative stance. She reclosed her eyes and cleared her mind, letting peace and calm take away any sort of anxiousness or frustration. She realized couldn't _give_ him patience, but she could _teach_ him. When she heard the walls collapse out of sight, she knew she had been successful.

X


	10. Chapter 10

Aurelia stood up and tried to tally how many self-destructive traits she had conquered. She concluded that she had guilt, doubt, and…pain left. She shuddered at the thought, but she had to remain strong. She waited for the emotion to manifest itself and was perplexed when nothing fell or appeared.

A trembling in the floor caused her to lose her footing and she tumbled onto her butt. She managed to crawl out of the way just in time before a giant chasm opened itself in the floor where she had been sitting.

 _Traitor. Monster. Murderer._ Ben's own voice echoed through the chasm, each word reverberated against the walls of canyon, echoing each word hundreds of times. Aurelia peered over the edge of the gully and saw that it stretched on and on into nothingness. _Traitor. Monster. Murderer. Traitor. Monster. Murderer. Traitor. Monster. Murderer._ The words made her teeth vibrate in her skull and were so loud, they were deafening. She sat at the edge, thinking what was the best way to go about this self-destructive behavior that obviously fed into his doubt.

"Redeemable." She cupped her hands and called down the hole, just testing as she meditated in the Force. _I probably shouldn't mess around like that._ But, she heard her voice echo against the walls of the canyon. "Human." She tried again, listening to the words being multiplied over and over again. "Forgivable." She sat and listened to her own voice slowly overtake Ben's. _Redeemable. Human. Forgivable. Redeemable. Human. Forgivable. Redeemable. Human. Forgivable. Redeemable. Human. Forgivable._

The chasm moved and closed, making the floor rumbled again. She couldn't believe that actually worked. _Well, when you're told that you're a monster over and over you start to believe it._ She stood up again once the trembling stopped and looked around.

"You must be Aurelia." She turned around and saw an older man with a crooked smile and light eyes stand in front of her dressed in a leather jacket and a white linen shirt.

"Han Solo." She recognized him. "This is guilt."

He looked at his shoes. "Yeah. Guilt's a hard one here."

"Why do you say that?"

He motioned over her shoulder and she turned around and saw figures spring up. She recognized the Force-sensitive children from his memories. Nameless villagers, workers, scavengers. Lor San Tekka from Jakku. The room filled with people as far as the eye could see and for the first time since starting this healing process, Aurelia felt overwhelmed. But more than that, she felt…repulsed. Repulsed at the thought that one person was capable of this many deaths. She turned back to Han.

"He murdered these people?" She breathed. " _All_ of these people?"

Han shrugged and looked down at his shoes again. "Nobody said my son was a nice guy."

"But he's can be redeemed, right?" Aurelia felt the control that she had unwaveringly held onto slip away and all the work she had accomplished unravel in seconds. This was too much. _You can't doubt him now._ She thought. _You love him._

"You tell us."

She squeezed her eyes shut, tears forming in her eyes, and sat down on the floor in a meditative position. She tried calming the anxiety that flipped her stomach over and twisted into knots.

 _Murderer._ A loud whisper shook the ground and she could almost feel him physically groan with pain. Grief filled her chest as she tried to focus harder.

It wasn't possible for him to redeem himself to these people. They were dead. That was a fact. A fact he has to live with for the rest of his life. She couldn't change that. She couldn't heal these people. She couldn't bring them back from the dead. There was no logical way to heal this part. It was a permanent darkness over Ben's mind that he would carry forever.

But there was Light in him still. Aurelia believed that with resolute intensity. _There was Light._

"Regret. Guilt. Remorse," Han started and Aurelia opened her eyes to Han Solo standing casually, his arms crossed over his chest. "It's not going to bring me back. Anyone back. He's going to have to live with it forever."

Aurelia breathed a short breath of frustration and stood up. She looked deep into the mental projection of Han Solo and saw the glint of betrayal in his eyes the moment the lightsaber stabbed through his core. That expression of Han's was seared into Ben's memory.

Aurelia knew he was right. She wouldn't be able to clear his conscience. "He doesn't have to keep adding it it though." She responded quietly, her only explanation she could come up with. "He can turn it around starting this very moment."

"Do you think that he can live in regret like this for the rest of his days?"

Aurelia felt tears hot on her face. "He's going to have to. But he's a new person now." She turned to face the crowd of victims. "He may be haunted by the guilt of the past, but he doesn't have to fear the future."

"As long as he has you."

Aurelia smiled a little as she turned back to Han. "I'm sorry I'm not going to meet you in person."

He gave a crooked smile, but his eyes still wide with betrayal. "Maybe not in this lifetime. Be good to him. Be good to my son."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Can you direct me to Pain?"


	11. Chapter 11

Han sighed and looked down at his boots. "Pain's over there." He pointed and on cue, a spotlight turned on and Aurelia could see a man sitting against the wall in a fetal position that was slowly rocking back and forth. Aurelia turned to thank Han, but he had disappeared. Everyone had disappeared. She was alone with the huddled figure.

She approached slowly and as she got closer, the air filled with desperate, tortured words. _They can't forgive you know. Give up. Give up. Die alone. Coward._ It was Ben, or at least, a version of Ben. He was dressed in ragged clothes that were falling apart. There were sores on his face and knuckles and his hair was wild and dirty. She regarded the chains and weights that bound his ankles and wrists together. She could see the raw agony making his eyes wide and desolate. This wasn't just pain. This was misery. This was desolation.

"Ben." She said and kneeled to the side of him. His crazed eyes flicked to her for a moment before going back to follow invisible horrors. "Ben, it's Aurelia."

"Aurelia. Aurelia." He repeated in a quiet, frantic tone. "Aurelia."

"I want to help you."

A sharp, clipped laugh escaped Ben's lips. "Help. Help. I can't be helped. No. No. I give up. Give up to the Dark Side." His hands moved to his forehead, scraping greasy curls off of his face and making the chains ring and clang together. "No. No."

"Let me take the pain away."

His eyes flicked to her again, this time regarded her for more than a nanosecond. "I am Pain." He sputtered, blood oozing to his lips and dribbling down his chin. His hands clawed at his face, making new wounds. "I can't be taken away."

Aurelia wasn't going to let that stop her. She held out her hands and touched the chains that crisscrossed over Ben's chest. Summoning the Force with all of her strength, she channeled her powers all into healing. He just barked a short laugh again. "See?" He rocked back and forth. "I can't be healed. I am chronic. I am forever."

Aurelia stopped the healing and looked up in the dark, bottomless eyes of this personification. Her chest swelled with love and sorrow at the same time. She raised up and touched her lips to his cheek, tasting blood and grime. He stopped rocking for a second and looked at her like she had just shocked him. "What are you doing?"

Aurelia knew that she couldn't make the pain disappear. But, there was something she could do. She closed her eyes, letting herself expand into his subconscious and expand even more until she could feel herself outside of his head, outside of his body. Glancing down, she could see herself dressed plainly in a brown shirt that hung off of her shoulders and a pair of brown pants that ended just below the knee. She inhaled slowly and expanded even further into the Force until she could feel the ties that bound everyone to the Force, to their destinies, and to the universe. She found Ben's and hers and like her basket she was weaving earlier, she nimbly tied them together, tethering their connections to the Force to each other.

Coming back to inside Ben's head. Channeling the Force, she started unwinding the chains that weighed on Ben. "What are you doing? You can't do that." He said. "You can't get rid of the pain."

"I connected us. Bound us together. The pain he feels, I now carry too." She remarked and continued loosening the heavy metal off of his body. She pulled a string off, noted how absolutely weighty and dense it was, before placing it around her shoulders,

He started to convulse around and clawed at his face and arms. "You can't do that. You can't do that."

"Sure I can." She said as she undid another chain and wrapped it around her one of her wrists. And another went around an ankle. Another around her waist. She pulled enough chains off that she could see all the scars that marred his bear chest. She fought the urge to collapse underneath the weight. She focused the Force on relieving the feeling of burden.

Pain let out another maniacal laugh. "You shouldn't have done that. I have you by the throat. You can feel it now. It burns your skin." She watched her skin blister underneath the chains, but didn't move to take them off. "You can feel my pain. It'll haunt you like it haunts me." He laughed again, his arms jerking around in odd, distorted movements. "You'll regret it."

"No." Aurelia said firmly and Pain stopped.

"What?"

"I won't regret it. I love you. I would take it all, if I could."

His eyes trained his wild eyes and started thrashing around. "I need to be felt. You can't get rid of me. He must _feel_ me. I am chronic. I am forever."

"You are nothing."

* * *

Like I do every time I pour myself a cup of tea and listen to Fetty Wap on my Bose sound system, I start thinking about What Ifs and one that came to me was the scenario where John Williams was brutally murdered by an unknown species of bear, leaving me to come up with the music for Star Wars. I have finally completed a list of possible theme songs for the characters in case that scenario does come true. I would like to share that with you.

 **Finn - I Run/** A Flock of Seagulls

 **Rey - All By Myself** /Celine Dion

 **Leia - Jesus, Take the Wheel** /Carrie Underwood

 **BB-8 - Mr. Roboto** /Styx

 **Poe - Fly** /Nicki Minaj Feat. Rihanna

 **Hux - Defecate On My Face/** TISM

 **Kylo Ren - I'm Not Okay (I Promise)** /My Chemical Romance

 **Han Solo - Bodies** /Drowning Pool

And Finally:

 **TR-8R - Right Round/** Flo Rida Feat. Ke$ha


	12. Chapter 12

Aurelia dropped her hands from Ben Solo's head and opened her eyes. "I did it." She breathed before collapsing. Ben caught her around the waist before she tumbled off of the edge of the hill.

Ben's hand immediately went to Aurelia's neck to check for a pulse, as he supported her by her shoulders. It was there. Weak, but there. That experience took a lot out of her, but it didn't kill her. He scraped the tears that had started after Aurelia had said that she loved him with the back of his hand, and forced himself to inhale through his nose, before hoisting Aurelia easily up over his shoulder and getting to his feet.

He thought about what she had did as he moved across the meadow towards her small stone hut. He could feel Aurelia's powers move through his consciousness. It was like an earthquake in his skull. He tried to keep his breathing even as things that played before him were starting to make sense. Things that Aurelia showed him. Truths that have now been revealed through the Force. One thing in particular: his uncle Luke, when he was very young, holding Darth Vader's body as the room around them was threatening to collapse. He understood it. Darth Vader came back to the Light. It was in him, as it was in Kylo Ren. _No. Not Kylo Ren. My name is Ben. Ben Solo. I am the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa._

Tears threatened to spill again as he entered Aurelia's hut. The fire was dead, making the room dark, but he managed to gently lay Aurelia down on her bed. Her white, silvery hair splayed on her pillow and Ben watched her eyelids flutter softly.

It nauseated him how many lies he told himself. He didn't want to stay on Somewhere because he wanted to seduce her to the Dark Side. He wanted to stay because he fell in love with this powerful, selfless girl. He didn't join the First Order to do anything other than to find solace in the Dark away from his mistakes in the Light. Snoke was using him for his power, feeding, him delusions to keep him controlled and subservient. He was a slave to his own lies. And that should've made him mad. It should've filled him with rage, but watching Aurelia's chest rise softly with each breath it just made him sad thinking about all the hurt he had caused because of his blindness to the truth.

He was going to fix this. He was going to make it better.

He was going to destroy the First Order.

* * *

General Hux paced back and forth of the large cockpit slowly, making his steps deliberate and precise. There was a dull murmur as his highly-trained crew talked over communication devices to their respective departments. It had now been over two weeks since the Starkiller base had been destroyed and Kylo Ren went missing.

He rolled his eyes slightly and sighed through his nose. His loathing and detestation for the Supreme Leader's little pet went all too deep. He did not even understand why the Supreme Leader was going to all this trouble of finding him. He should have left him to die. He had obviously proven himself weak against the Resistance. And the First Order had no tolerance for the weak.

"General, the detachment has now entered the Fondor III belt."

"ETA to the coordinates?" He asked, making himself sound as bored as possible with this mission.

"Less than twenty-four hours, sir."

"Summon me as soon contact with Kylo Ren is made." He said and spun around towards the exit of the cockpit.

"Yes, sir."


	13. Chapter 13

Aurelia sighed lightly, and Ben looked over from his place at the end of her bed, pausing the holocron quickly, in case she was waking up. She had been unconscious for almost a whole standard day now, but Ben did not want to wake her. He could feel her recuperating her strength and power that she had lost in the Force, _in his mind_ , while she slept.

He had been watching her holocron of the Jedi Healer and at the same time tried to construct a plan to get to help the Resistance get to Snoke and destroy the First Order.

He also was rehearsing how he was going to apologize to his mother. He closed his eyes and her soft brown eyes entered his memories. He could feel her weak presence in the Force. It would take a million years to communicate how sorry he was. He pulled his knees to his chest and watched as Aurelia sighed again. He tried not to dwell on the fact that there was a possibility that Leia Organa was going to refuse his apology and never trust him again. There was a possibility that he would never be able to feel her soft affection through the Force, through her embrace again. He instead focused on the plan to redeem himself and prove himself worthy of the Light Side.

"Water." A creaky voice said quietly and Ben was snapped out of his reflection. Aurelia's eyes were open, but she made no move to get up.

Ben moved to the bucket against the wall and cursed to see that it was empty. _He should have been more prepared._ He knelt down in front of the bed and placed a hand on her cheek. "I'll have to go get some."

She gave a little nod, her hand coming up and brushing his curls off of his forehead. _Thank you._

The sentence reverberated around the inside of his skull, clear as if she had screamed it from a rooftop. It surprised him, and he fell back off of his heels, onto his butt. The telekinetic link was the strongest he had ever had with anyone. She tethered them together. They were interconnected now through the Force.

She must've felt his surprise, because her her lips parted slightly and her eyes flashed a look of worry. _It was the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain._

He exhaled sharply through his nose. "You didn't take it from me, did you? Please tell me you didn't transfer it to yourself."

It wasn't used often, but the transfer of pain was a Dark Side power he had learned about through Snoke and through his own studies. It was rarely utilized, as it took extreme amounts of focus and energy through the Force. But, only ever heard of _giving_ the pain to someone else, instead of _taking it on._

She just nodded slightly again. "I did, Ben." She croaked and her dry lips turned upwards as she said his name.

"Aurelia. Why? Why would you do that?"

She rose her head a little off the pillow, supporting herself on her elbows. "Because that's how love works." She laid back down heavily. "And I couldn't take all of it. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't have taken any of it." Ben mumbled, shame making his stomach turn. "It was my burden to bear."

Her hand came up and she touched his cheek. "I don't regret anything."

He stood up, grabbing the bucket from its place on the floor and headed for the door, not even bothering to put his boots on.

 _I love you, Ben Solo._

He quickly passed through the threshold of the door, ducking his face so Aurelia couldn't see the tears that were making tracks on his pale face.

* * *

Aurelia sighed and rolled over in her small bed, a task which felt like it took the energy of a whole fleet of ships to accomplish. She was still so weak and she tried calling the Force to revitalize her, but even that took more energy than she had.

Her mind drifted to Ben. He hurried out of the hut faster than his tears to fly off of his face. Aurelia didn't have the heart to tell him yet that her empathetic link with him made it possible for her to feel all of his emotions at the same time he felt them. She was a part of him now. They were the same in the Force. There was no more point in hiding. Even as a new wave of guilt and tormented pain washed over her, like an old would being open over and over, she didn't feel any regret. She loved him, and that's all that mattered.

She started to drift back off to sleep when a large disturbance in the Force caused her to sit up suddenly, disregarding the feeling of fatigue and dizziness. "Ben." She breathed. _Ben, where are you?_

 _Stream. Water. Remember?_ He answered as plainly as if he was sitting next to her. It made her jump how clear it was. These were fuzzy thoughts or atmospheric emotions that she could feel with the Force. This was connection and it was definitely something that she would have to get used to.

She reached out with the Force, a pain in her left temple throbbed at the exertion of energy. The fingers of her powers came to a large ship touching down on the other side of the moon. There were a lot of heartbeats on that ship. A lot of thoughts focused on finding Ben.

 _We're not alone._ Ben must've felt it too.

Alarmed, Aurelia got to her feet, only to let exhaustion throw her back down on the bed again. She wasn't able to move. _I'm too weak._

 _Stay where you are._ He ordered. _I'm coming back for you._

Aurelia reached out with the Force again. They were splitting up into groups of twos and threes, looking for Ben. She couldn't stay here. She needed to move. They were going to spot her hut. She reached deep into the Force and called upon all the energy she could muster to get her on her feet.

She made her way out of her house and into the surrounding wood. It was taking all of her focus to move, which made her Force Sight that took over where her actual sight failed, weak and imprecise and she stumbled on branches, falling and picking herself back up only to trip over something else and fall again. She sat on her knees for what felt like the hundredth time, grinding her teeth in frustration. She called on the Force and pushed herself back up again.

 _I told you to stay where you were._ Ben sounded irritated. _You're not able to fight._

He had a point. Her reflexes were awkward and she would not be able to elude attacks like she usually was able to. She was going to have to hide somewhere if she was going to make it. Hide and then find Ben. She reached out and touched a tree, leaning against it and catching her breath.

"Halt right there!" A voice distorted by a mask ordered.

Fear froze her to the spot. She started to breathe heavy as she tried to reach out and touch the mind of this soldier with the Force. It was too late though. She felt something hard jab into her ribcage and she closed her eyes when the soldier spun her around against the tree and forced her arms behind her.

"Where is Kylo Ren?" He asked.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully.

"You're coming with me."

 _Help me, Ben._


	14. Chapter 14

_Help me, Ben._

Ben froze mid-track at the sound of soldiers running through the small woods. He hid himself behind a tree and watched in his peripherals as the white Stormtroopers ran past him with perfectly synchronized steps. His lightsaber and armor was sitting on the chair at Aurelia's small house. He could feel the shuttle on the other side of the moon and he could feel Aurelia's life force heading towards it quickly.

He entered the consciousness of a Stormtrooper just in time for the commander to get on the comlink. "We have located his gear and the activated distress beacon, however there is no sign of Kylo Ren."

 _Foolish._ Ben thought to himself. He had forgotten about his comlink that he had activated before Obi-Wan Kenobi manifested during his existential crisis. Now his mistake was going to get Aurelia killed or worse. He found her again, this time entering her consciousness. He could feel the muzzle of a blaster being jabbed into her side and the stumbled steps she was taking as she was roughly led up the ramp of the ship. "You're going to have to slow down." She panted and stumbled again, only to have a Stormtrooper yank her to her feet. "I can't see."

"Keep up." He said in a clipped, detached tone and pulled her into the ship.

"Identify yourself." Captain Phasma's voice rang in Aurelia's head.

"Aurelia."

"Aurelia what?"

She hesitated. "I don't have a surname. It's just Aurelia."

"Are you familiar with the name Kylo Ren?"

"I've lived on this moon alone." She breathed. "You people are the first interaction I've had in ten years."

There was heavy silence. "Lock her in a prison cell. We'll let the Supreme Leader tell if she's lying or not."

"The planet is clear, Captain." A Stormtrooper said.

"Prepare for takeoff."

Ben Solo ran his fingers through his long curls and paced around in a circle in the middle of the woods. He could feel the rock start to rumble as the large ship prepared for launch. He could get to the other side of the moon in time to get on the ship. He wasn't even sure what he would do if he could. _Turn himself in?_ Then he would be taken to Snoke and the Supreme Leader would figure out his defection of the Dark Side.

He inhaled and focused his fast, panicked breathing, driving himself to clear his head and reach out through the Force. He could feel himself enter Aurelia's consciousness again. He could feel her terror as she was forced into a cold, furniture-less holding cell. Her hands were shaking as she nervously played with her hair and lowered herself to the floor. This was the most metal she's ever come in contact with in her life.

 _Ben. I'm scared._

 _Don't be scared. I'm coming to get you._ He answered almost automatically. This strong of a connection was still so novel to him. He wondered if it would be as strong the further they separated.

He didn't dwell on that, instead he made his way back to the hut. The troopers were very thorough in their inspection, as the sparse furniture and appliances that Aurelia had neatly arranged around the one-room hut were strewn around or overturned.

 _They even took my boots?_ Ben thought to himself as he pushed the bed back onto all four feet and looked around for his missing belongings. He looked at his black pants and black undershirt and bare feet and sighed. He guessed this will have to do for now.

He had an idea. It was far-reaching, and C-3PO, his mother's loyal protocol droid would calculate the odds of it succeeding to be very low, but he had to try. He had to for Aurelia. He didn't know what he would do if she died by his mistake. His breath hitched as a wave of grief and guilt filled his stomach. He didn't even want to think about her dying.

He made his way quickly through the expansive meadow toward his crashed escape pod that laid half-buried in the small crater it had created for itself. With a tug in the Force, he re-opened the only door with a _whoosh_ of hydraulics and looked around the small pod for a communications device.

His comlink was only programmed to contact the First Order, however the communications software in the pod was set that it could send out a signal to any ship in the area. This was useful in case of navigation software failure, which is exactly what had happened to his pod, however he had been too out-of-it to activate his communication mechanism and crashed on the moon instead.

Ben Solo activated the distress beacon and sat down to wait, hoping, for his sake and Aurelia's, that his plan would work.

* * *

Poe Dameron had been itching, absolutely _pining_ to get back into the pilot's chair since destruction of the Starkiller base. So, when General Organa presented him with a mission of "upmost importance" he took it without question or inhibition. What he didn't realize it consisted of moving supplies and freight from one Resistance base to another, a mission that a brain-dead Bantha could probably do in its sleep.

He sighed in his chair of the freighter he was piloting and glanced at his coordinates as he moved through space at hyperspeed. He was going to have to stop the lightspeed travel at a dense asteroid field soon to maneuver through it, and then he could resume hyperspeed. That asteroid belt was going to be the most exciting part of the mission. He eased out of lightspeed as soon as his coordinates articulated to him that he was coming upon the Fondor III system.

Finn let out a loud snore in the chair next to him and his head dipped lowly to the side before jerking back to sitting positon. He crossed his jacket, _Poe's_ jacket, over his chest and jammed his hands underneath his armpits. "Where are we now?" He asked sleepily.

"Asteroid belt." Poe answered and threw the ship into the fastest setting it had, evading flying asteroids with skill and precision. He smiled at his friend. If anything, he was glad that the ex-Stormtrooper was able enough to fly with him after his confrontation with Kylo Ren on the Starkiller base. He missed his companionship.

He quickly dodged another asteroid and then recalibrated the large ship. He reminded himself to be more careful. The transporter he was on wasn't designed for nimbleness.

He saw Finn lean forward on the control panel. "There's a distress beacon coming up ahead."

Poe glanced over at the dashboard of flashing lights. It was an escape pod on one of the bigger asteroids. He had to be wary of space slugs that would live deep in the heart of large asteroids. He couldn't put the mission at risk. But, at the same time, if someone needed their help, they were as good as any to provide it.

He touched some buttons, altering the route of the transporter. "We might as well go check it out."

"Alright, hero time!" Finn cheered, as he had been bored with this mission as much as Poe had.

"No." Poe scolded and shot Finn a mischievous look at the same time. "We're just going to verify that the distress beacon isn't a mistake. And provide assistance when needed."

"So, hero time?" His dark-skinned friend shot him a look and Poe smiled back.

"Hero time." Poe answered.


	15. Chapter 15

Ben Solo felt the large ship while he was meditating in the Force before he was able to hear it. While he wasn't surprised that ship would check out the universal distress signal, he was surprised that he recognized those who were piloting it. His plan worked out almost more perfect than he originally intended.

He rose to his feet and watched as a large freighter ship landed carefully next to his crashed pod, his dark hair whipping in the wind around his face. He gathered the Force in his chest and compelled himself to try to keep the panic and anxiety out of his voice.

The ramp descended from the other side of the ship and he could hear the pair of boots clunk down hard on the metal.

"This is the weirdest asteroid ever." FN-2187 said as he looked around. Ben started to arc around the ship widely and kept his hands where they would be able to see them.

"This isn't an asteroid. It's a moon." Poe Dameron replied. "I wonder how it got stuck in this asteroid belt."

FN-2187 was the one that saw Ben first. Many emotions crossed his face, before it settled on complete astonishment. He started shaking his head wildly. "Nope. Hell nope. Let's go back in the ship." He spun on his heels and started back up the ramp.

Dameron looked puzzled. "Who are you? Finn, where are you going?"

"I'm not dealing with this right now. I just got out of the bacta tank…" _FN-2187 had taken a new name_. Ben considered to himself.

Ben rose his hands to his head and watched as Finn pulled his blaster and aimed it at him. "I am not afraid to shoot you." He yelled at him with an obvious expression of terror. "No sudden movements."

"I'm so confused." Poe said as she slowly pulled his blaster pistol out of its holster.

Ben just chewed on his lip while he slowly placed both of his hands behind his head and dropped to his knees. "I'm renouncing the First Order." He said firmly, but quietly. "I require help from the Resistance and in return, I go as a voluntary prisoner and am willing provide any intelligence that the Resistance requests regarding the First Order."

"I'm still confused." Poe said, shifting his weight on his other hip. "Who are you?"

"We've met before." Ben answered.

"'Met before,'" Finn scoffed. "Yeah, you guys have met before as he strapped you to a chair and sifted through your head trying to find beebee-ate."

Poe's eyes widened and he trained his pistol on him. "You're Kylo Ren?"

"I used to be." He practically whispered. "I have a lot of sins to atone for. I'm sorry for whatever suffering I have caused."

The two men stared at him for a moment and then Finn re-aimed his blaster on him. "You know, you made a big show to your own father too before you killed him. Yeah. I watched it." He said. "How do we know it's not the same?"

"You don't." Ben said truthfully, guilt making bile rise the back of his throat as he tried not to dwell on the flash of betrayal in his father's eyes and his own reflection as he forced his lightsaber deeper into his chest. "But, I promise that I have no more loyalties to the First Order. I just want to save Aurelia."

* * *

Poe regarded the figure that sat in front of him and Finn on his knees, his hands behind his head. He had never seen Kylo Ren without all his flashy armor. The cape and the helmet, it was meant to strike fear wherever he went. Command authority from the soldiers and Stormtroopers of the First Order. He had an aura about him that exuded authority and intimidation. Now, though, Kylo Ren just seemed like a broken kid.

His eyes flashed with pain and his lips pulled back to reveal gritted teeth as Finn mentioned his father. The scar that ran from his left lower jaw to the right side of his forehead moved with his brow furrowing. _Han Solo. One of the best pilots in the galaxy._ The universe felt that loss.

"Who's Aurelia?"

Ren's eyes flicked to the side before he moved them downwards. "She was a, _the,_ resident of this moon. She's powerful in the Force and very skilled at healing…"

"…and she's your friend." Finn finished, waving the muzzle of his blaster rifle around. Poe watched Finn's eyes flick to the floor. He knew all about risking everything to save a friend. And by everything, he meant _everything._ A mission, lives of others, his own life. _The Resistance even._ He almost lost control of everything to save the scavenger girl, Rey. Poe knew it all too well too, almost getting himself killed stealing a TIE fighter and crashing back on the desert planet of Jakku to save his BB-unit droid. Finn shot Poe a look and it didn't take fancy Force powers to know that Finn was thinking the same thing.

"I'll get the cuffs." Poe volunteered, understanding the conclusion of this confrontation, and headed up the steps of the transporter. He found restraints in the same cabinet that held the emergency artillery equipment. He touched the larger blaster rife that laid in it's holding chest, his memory flashing back to when Kylo Ren molested his mind trying to find BB-8. However, this man wasn't the same person that he was in that interrogation room those months ago. Poe could feel it. He sighed and closed the compartment, heading back down the ramp and handing the cuffs to Finn, who had lowered his blaster.

Kylo Ren brought his hands slowly in front of him and watched Finn snapped the cuffs on his wrists. He rose to his feet from his position on his knees and followed a half-step behind Finn. Poe looked around one last time the tall grass and it waved in the breeze, almost giving them a goodbye. Once he was satisfied that this wasn't a surprise attack, he followed the ex-First Order leader up the ramp.

"If you try anything, Kylo Ren, I will shove this blaster right up-,"

"Finn!" Poe scolded as he started to take off from the small moon, working over the control panel of the awkward freighter. Finn had re-taken his seat as co-pilot, but he had his chair turned 180 degrees and held his blaster out at Kylo Ren, who sat in the jump seat behind them.

"Ben." He responded quietly. Poe continued to get the freighter out of the asteroid belt and back on the hyperspeed channel to the Inner Rim.

"What?"

"My name is Ben."

"You can call yourself Krieg, King of the Banthas, for all I care." Finn muttered. "If you pull anything-,"

"Finn, he's not going to do anything. Stop it." Poe scolded again as he entered the channel to the planet Onderon and started the sequence to put the transporter into lightspeed.

"I have a gigantic scar on my back and one on my shoulder that says otherwise." Finn muttered and lowered his weapon to this lap.

"Your mother has been worried about you."

Kylo Ren's breathing hitched. "She cares far too much about me to not expect anything in return." He muttered almost to himself.

Poe spun in his chair, shooting The Resistance's new prisoner a look. "I think that's how love works."


	16. Chapter 16

Aurelia trembled violently against the metal walls of the holding cells. She gripped her knees tighter and focused on something other than cold, dead, unfeeling metal she now leaned against. Never in her life had she missed the low humming of the wildlife energy from Somewhere as much as she did now. But even though she was cold and unfamiliar with her surroundings, she focused the Force to keep the fear from eating her from the inside out.

"Stand up, girl." A voice order through a mask and Aurelia rose slowly to her feet. She felt a hand grip her around her upper arm and she was yanked violently out. A muzzle of a blaster jabbed hard into her side.

She was having to channel the little energy she had into numbing herself from Ben's pain that threatened to drown her with every wave. She stumbled awkwardly alongside of the soldier for a long time, her fatigue making her steps heavy.

"Sir." The voice clipped out suddenly, jerking her to a stop.

"Such a beauty there, beezee-twoonefourtwo." A voice said darkly. Aurelia felt a clammy hand grip her cheeks, squeezing them together. He chuckled. "Snoke would be very pleased to see her, I think."

 _Don't let that bastard touch you._ Ben growled lowly in her head.

Aurelia almost cried out with glee. She had been trying to communicate to him in her cell, but he hadn't been answering. She was afraid that she was too weak to call to him. She felt new energy revitalized her and she stoop up a little straighter. She whipped her head to the side, making the hand that held her face drop. "Don't touch me." She said lowly.

"Feisty too." A small slap stung across her face, making her jaw drop out of surprise and anger. She felt tears prickle her eyes and the figure leaned in closer. She could smell his sour aftershave and his lunch on his breath. "I'm going to have to teach you a lesson later." His thoughts went darkly to what he thought her body looked like without any clothes on. She felt violated and repulsed in his thoughts.

She could feel Ben's anger inside of her as well as her own. Without thinking about it, she pushed hard with the Force, hearing him slam up against the wall. The Stormtrooper seized her upper arm and a blaster was dug into her back. "Halt!" It said through its voice modulator.

"Take her to Snoke." The person hissed. She dug around in his mind for something she could use, finally coming across a dark secret he kept buried deep in his subconscious.

"Snoke won't be too pleased to hear about your thoughts of mutiny, General Hux." She spat back and foresaw the the closed-fisted punch to the left side of her face before it happened. She could feel the blood pool hot in her eye as it started to swell.

"You're a lot prettier when your mouth is closed." He growled lowly. "Get her out of my sight."

She bit back tears, but understood that a black eye was her guarantee that Hux would never think of her like that again. However, she knew that the perverted general was going to be the least of her worries in a few short moments.

 _Hurry, Ben._

* * *

"Are you falling asleep again?" Ben opened his eyes to Poe hitting Finn on the shoulder with the back of his hand. Finn was still turned in his seat, facing Ben. However, he rested his head on his hand, the blaster rifle now resting casually in his lap.

"I'm sorry that I don't find hyperspace as captivating as you, Poe." Finn mumbled without even opening his eyes. He adjusted his feet, pushing them outwards and sinking into his chair.

"I _thought_ you were on prisoner detail." Poe retorted. "Or is that not important anymore?"

Finn opened one eye and regarded Ben, who hadn't moved positions since taking off from Somewhere. "He's fine."

"So, Kylo, uh, I mean Ben." Poe started. "Will you answer a question for me?"

Ben sighed a little internally, foreseeing the teasing that Finn was going to be getting through the Force. "Sure."

"How is it that the First Order bad-boy can get a girlfriend, but our man Finn over here can't?"

Finn's eyes snapped open. "Poe, so help me-,"

"We're here!" Poe exclaimed as they jumped out of hyperspace and came into view of mostly blue and green planet. "Welcome to Onderon, an unforgiving jungle planet with a colorful past." Poe said like a Republic tour guide as they started their descent into it's atmosphere. "Please keep to the designated paths and Finn, no playing with the indigenous wildlife, as it probably wants to eat you."

Ben watched as Poe swiftly maneuvered the cargo ship around the planet to a small, almost hidden landing zone for ships. He looked at the blanket of tall trees that hid the landscape from view. It was a perfect place to deter enemy reconnaissance, as no structures or movement could be detected from it's surface. After communicating his credentials and his mission, Poe lowered the ship onto the landing pad with a soft thud. Immediately Ben felt his curly hair stick his forehead with the thick humidity. And he felt something else too, something he hadn't felt in what seemed like centuries.

He felt his mother's presence in the Force.


	17. Chapter 17

_General Organa was trying really hard to make it through the day without snapping at somebody. Between the lists of supplies that had to be checked off, overseeing the construction of the new settlement, meeting with the counsel to figure out source of fuel for the ships and speak with the consuls of the planet..._

 _She glanced at her portable control panel she held in her hand as she moved through the rooms of the rebellion base. Gorse. In the inner rim. The one with the groundquake problems. The Thorillide supply that came from its moon was worth constantly having to spend resources to rebuild structures there though._

 _She heard a high shriek and dropped the file she was was reading onto the floor. "Ben!" She called to her son and only child. She pushed into the Force, the only thing she really knew how to do with her limited Force-sensitive powers and felt that he was not hurt. But she could feel something else. Someone else._

 _She had to collect all her energy to not break out into a sprint. When she got to the hangar, she could see the light metal of the well-known ship. There was a shrieking again and she turned in time to see Ben hanging upside-down, his dark curls shaking a couple inches from the ground. A gigantic smile showed off the space where he had lost his tooth a couple of weeks ago._

 _Leia looked up into the eyes of the man that held her son firmly around both ankles. A crooked grin and a pair of bright blue eyes lit up at the sight of her and she crossed the hangar to meet them._

 _"_ _How was the trip?" She asked coolly and quietly, letting familiar butterflies fill her stomach._

 _Han Solo shrugged and let Ben sit up and climb on top of his back, kneeing him in the forehead. "Watch it, buddy." He winced while their son slipped his legs around his neck, perching himself on his shoulders. "It was pretty uneventful."_

 _"_ _You always say that." She rose on her tip-toes and kissed him gently._

 _"_ _Well, excitement only happens when I'm with you." Han responded, gripping Ben by the ankles that hung on either side of his head._

 _"_ _Eww." Ben responded._

 _"_ _You need to do your chores, mister." Leia held out her hands and Ben automatically dropped himself into her grip. "Go clean your room or something." She said placed him on his floor and watched take off at full speed, a blur of dark hair and innocence, before turning back to Han. "You know what he did the other day?" She started. "He tried to get Threepio to clean up for him."_

 _"_ _You can't say he's not creat-,"_

The sound of her title and last name broke Leia Organa out of her memory. She sucked in a short breath and looked around. She was on the Onderon base with the Resistance. She was still General Organa. She was still a leader in the fight against the Dark Side that tried to claim the galaxy as their own. She was still missing the pieces of her heart that made her feel like an empty vessel of a person.

"General Organa, Poe Dameron is back with that shipment of rations." She looked into the eyes of her young assistant, Nessa. Nessa had a young, freckled face and her silky blonde hair were woven into tight knots on the back of her head. She gave the general a concerned look, but that was the usual nowadays with her closest group of Resistance leaders and assistants that helped run the Onderon base.

 _Shipment of rations?_ These events were not usually reported to her. This was basic standard procedure, although she did feel guilty giving the assignment to Poe. It seemed like a waste of skill for the best pilot in the Resistance. She watched Nessa open her mouth and close it again. "What is it?" She asked the girl.

"They have a prisoner with them." She started slowly. "They picked him up after they located a distress beacon in the Fondor three belt on the way back. He is claiming full renouncement of the First Order. We're unsure of how to proceed with him."

"Who's the prisoner?" But she knew before the words escaped her lips. She could feel him. She could feel his familiar presence in the Force.

"General?"

She was snapped back into reality. "L-leave the p-prisoner to me." She broke out into a run, something she should _not_ be doing at her age, and made her way to the open-air hangar on the other side of the base.

She scanned the large concourse, looking for his face. When she found it she was startled to see how much older he had gotten. _He's not a little boy anymore._ She was also alarmed to see how thin he was and the dark circles underneath his eyelids and the scar on his cheek. But that was his face.

The face of her son.


	18. Chapter 18

Aurelia was pushed into a room that was ice cold, the trooper leaving her with a grunted "Wait here." She immediately wrapped her arms closed to her body and tried to keep her teeth from vibrating in her skull. She reached out with the Force, but didn't feel anything in this dark room. _This must be another prison cell or something._

"Yes, you could say it's a prison cell." A dark, familiar voice said out from the void.

"Snoke." Aurelia growled lowly.

"Look how beautiful you are." He drawled at a frustratingly slow rate. "I could see why Kylo Ren would be seduced by you. He may be strong in the Dark Side, but he is still a boy."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know anyone named Kylo Ren." Which was the truth. She was connected, in love with a man named Ben.

He barked a sharp laugh. "Protecting him just makes it that much more satisfying when I sever him from you." She could feel the fingers of the Dark Side pierce into her mind. She pushed him out, but he went in again, only more forcefully, violently cutting through whatever shield she had up. She could feel him sift through her memories. She couldn't get him out, he was too strong for her defenses.

"Foolish girl." He said after a moment as he continued to finger his way through the catalog of her memories. "Force healing. Healing is for the weak."

Anger snapped in her like twigs in a fireplace. "Healing is for the selfless. That's why its not possible for the Dark Side."

He stopped for a moment, thinking about her words, she could feel weakly. "This is true," He conceded. "The Dark Side can't heal. The Dark Side doesn't _have to_ heal because it never looks to…amend…the mistakes of the past. It only looks towards the future."

She grinded her teeth together. "Then why can't it seem to see that it will always be defeated?"

He chuckled darkly. "It will prevail once the Light has been eradicated." With that he pervaded her mind so forcefully, Aurelia fell to her knees, breathless. "Healing of the mind." He said mostly to himself. "I underestimated you."

"That happens a lot." She choked as he continued to dig in her subconscious. She winced as he viciously pushed around, finally settling on a section that she had fought hard to keep hidden. With a small tug a wave of Ben's pain crashed over her, threatening to drown her underneath its magnitude. Her skin buzzed and tingled with it. She gasped for air and grasped out into the darkness.

"Foolish, foolish girl." He remarked. "What did you expect to happen?"

A flash of Ben's eyes entered her mind. She could see them, even with her lack of vision, seared into her brain. Reflections of himself in others. The agony of being caught between the Light and the Dark. The hopelessness of being lost forever from those he loved the most. The torment of guilt of actions he regretted as he did them.

"Have you heard of a woman named Padmé Amidala?" When Aurelia didn't answer, Snoke took a breath and continued on. "Padmé Amidala lived in the age of the Republic. She was a senator and a queen…She was also Kylo Ren's grandmother." He paused. For dramatic effect or just because forming words seemed like an arduous task, Aurelia couldn't decide which. "When Vader let the Dark Side consume him, she tried bringing him back by begging for him to transfer his pain to her. He did just that and murdered her with it in the process." He chuckled again darkly. "It's curious how history repeats itself."

"I don't regret anything." She said almost automatically between labored breaths. She realized this was the vision she had so long ago.

The low voice chuckled slowly. "Remember those words when your will to live vanishes and the pain crushes you under its weight."


	19. Chapter 19

Ben met eyes with his mother. He could read her disbelief in her thoughts as she quickly made her way to him and his escorts as they descended the ramp of the transporter.

"General-," Poe started with an official tone as she got closer. She didn't respond, her dark eyes boring into Ben.

He felt a wave of guilt and emotion crash into him as she stopped a couple feet in front of him. She had gotten a lot older since he had seen her last, worry and anxiety causing lines in her forehead and around her mouth. She wore a flight outfit of dark trousers and boots and a dark shirt and her hair, like always, was intricately braided and secured to her head. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only a couple of seconds. "Ben." She breathed finally, her voice scratchy from working so close with ships.

"Mother." He shifted his weight uncomfortably on his feet. Guilt threatening to collapse him underneath his weight. A typhoon of emotions twisted his insides.

She crossed the space between them and slapped him hard across the face, anger suddenly flashing in her eyes. "How could you? How could you do that to me? _Your father?_ "

Ben felt tears force themselves down his face. He felt something in him crack. He fell to his knees, his hands still bound in cuffs. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Which I know means nothing now and won't bring Dad back." The word 'Dad' felt odd in his mouth. He felt unworthy of the intimate name after the sins he committed. "But, please know that every second of everyday with every fiber of my being, I spend wishing that I could go back and undo everything I did." His words were bitter to the taste as he confronted everything he had done and laid all at the mercy of his mother. "And please know that I'm going to try to make it right."

She stared at him, tears ruining her makeup. "No more Kylo Ren?"

He nodded his head, trembling under her gaze. "I know that you possibly could never love me again, but maybe someday my actions would prove that I could re-earn your trust."

She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. Flowers and soap. _She even smelled the same._ Ben placed his head on her shoulder. "Oh, Ben." She said quietly between sobs. "I never stopped loving you." She pulled back and pushed his thick hair out of his face. "I was just so afraid I lost you forever."

Fresh tears squeezed out onto his cheeks, turning her figure blurry. "I thought I lost myself forever too."

* * *

"Yeah I know that I let you down

Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

Oohaooh Oohaooh"


	20. Chapter 20

Poe Dameron led Ben into the Resistance base. He looked forward to a nice, hot shower, some food, and to formulate a plan to attack the First Order again. First though, he was tasked by General Organa to show Ben his new room.

"Dameron, good to see you!" He was clapped on the back by a fellow Resistance fighter as they made their way through the corridor to the barracks. He missed familiar faces.

They walked along in silence for awhile and Poe listened to his boots clunk on the floor. He glanced behind him to make sure that Ben was still following him and saw the tall kid looking around, his angular chin pointed at the ceiling as he followed a couple feet away. At the prompting of General Organa and the protesting of Finn, Poe had removed his shackles, but he kept his hands touching, like they were still bound. "Um, chow hall is that way." He pointed down a hallway as they passed it. "The control room and the briefing room that has the HoloReader is down there too. Infirmary's down there." He pointed down an opposite hallway.

There was a sharp breath that made Poe turn around quickly. Ben's eyes were squeezed shut and he had both hands on his temples.

"Are you okay?" Poe said, approaching cautiously, trying to figure out what was going on. His temper was quite legendary within the Resistance and Poe was blessed to be able to see it first hand on Jakku. He was pretty convinced that Ben had turned a new leaf, but at the same time he didn't want to be a victim of unintentional violence.

"Snoke…" He tried between ragged breaths. "He's…Aurelia…"

Poe decided that Ben wasn't going to destroy everything within a six-foot radius and touched him on his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"They're torturing Aurelia." His eyes snapped open and his hands dropped from his head. He panted like he had just finished Onderon's 500% Humidity Half-Marathon race. Poe concluded that whatever just happened had to do with the Force, which was an area that he had no expertise in. However he was pretty good at motivating people in the face of danger.

"We're going to get her back." Poe assured.

Ben's dark eyes met his and there was the usual mix of pain and guilt, but something else too. Passion? Anger? Determination?

 _Love._

* * *

Ben stared at himself in the small mirror of a tiny, one-person bathroom after he had showered, shaved, and changed into Resistance-issue dark green shirt and black pants with black boots. He was trying to reach out to Aurelia through the Force while he inspected the purple circles underneath his eyes. His scar on his face, even though had healed, still looked angry and vicious and he looked gaunt and pale.

 _You look great._ Aurelia's voice rang in his head through their connection. He could even hear her snort at her own joke. A noise of surprise escaped Ben's lips. The connection wasn't being suppressed by Snoke…that or Aurelia was breaking through it.

"I thought I couldn't get to you." He said aloud to his reflection.

 _I'm a little stronger than Snoke in some areas._

"Are they hurting you?"

 _Only physically._

He thought about that for a moment. A month ago Snoke came just second to Darth Vader in terms of power in Ben's mind. Now, Aurelia kept surprising him over and over again with her strength. "I'm coming to get you."

 _I know you are._

"Mister…" Ben turned around in the small dorm room to Nessa, his mom's assistant. Her buns jutted out the top of her head. Her eyes were wide and scared as she had to look up to meet Ben's gaze. Ben remembered when the Resistance took Nessa in after the First Order had wiped out her village. She was only five or six. "…Ben? General Organa is requesting your presence in the briefing room."

He followed her down the hallways, keeping his head low and not meeting the eyes of those who passed by him. Most only knew him when his mask was on. He was a "creature" when he hid behind his armor, like the scavenger girl said. There was no humanity or emotion. And while he kind of missed the anonymity, he realized that his identity that he cultivated with Kylo Ren had taken over. He wasn't just pretending to be a creature anymore. He _was_ a creature. He could hear the ships outside taking off and landing as he entered the large briefing room.

The room was dominated by a HoloReader that was surrounded by different computers that hummed and beeped. There was a small crowd of people that milled around the railing that surrounded the middle of the room, looking at readouts or talking.

C-3PO, the protocol droid that was older than everyone in the base waddled up to Ben. "Master Ben, it is so good to see you! I hope you still recognize me. I'm C-,"

"Threepio," Ben finished. "It's good to see you too." He met eyes with his mother across the room and everyone slowly started turning to the HoloReader at her command. He also saw Poe leaning against the computers and Finn, who was talking next to him.

"The next objective for the Resistance would be hit the First Order's main base." General Organa started, an aura of quiet authority making her presence bigger than it was.

"Recon were able to pin-point smaller bases, but we're still unsure where Snoke might be."

"Byss." Ben heard himself say automatically as he approached the middle of the room. There were a couple gasps as people recognized who he was. He watched C-3PO pull up a hologram of the planet. "It's buried deep in the Core. The Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Darth Sidious, turned the planet into a Dark Side haven."

"How do we get to it?" Poe challenged. "After the Imperial Hyperspace Security Net was destroyed, the coordinates to the planets of the Deep Core were lost."

"The First Order re-mapped a hyperspace route to the Deep Core." Ben answered and pointed up at the slightly tilted planet. "The Emperor's Citadel was here and Snoke likes to stay in this stronghold here, but there are two other strongholds here and here." He pointed as the hologram spun for him, pinning different areas of the planet.

"Okay. So, we know where Snoke is. How are we going to get to him?" One of the Resistance pilots chimed in. "We obviously can't just bomb them out. There must be hardcore security to guard the Supreme Leader."

"Well, I have an idea regarding that."

* * *

Hey Fam, long time, no author's note. I don't really have anything to put here. Except thanks for the reviews. (Obvs). I've seen TFA five times now. And...Matt, the "radar technician" is a fucking punk bitch. Also, nipples. Thank you.


	21. Chapter 21

General Organa watched her son walk around the hologram of the planet Byss. He was wearing a Resistance uniform and he exuded quiet confidence and the general couldn't help thinking that this was how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be here, with her, leading the Resistance for the fight of peace and freedom. Her and him and…Han.

She pushed that thought out of her mind. She was still having trouble coming to terms with Han's death. She was still coming to terms with a lot of things. Her method of coping with it all was to put on a show a strength. She did it with Alderaan. She did it with Ben. She can do it with Han.

"The First Order haven't made contact with me since the destruction of Starkiller base." He started. "They do not know that I have defected to the Resistance." There was a murmur of approval through the crowd.

"You want to go in as Kylo Ren?" Finn asked. "What are you going to do, just walk in?"

"Essentially." Ben shrugged. "The only one who wouldn't be able to sense my allegiance would be Snoke, but by the time I got to him, I would be deep in the heart of Byss and would be able to shut down the shields. At that point, a detachment of the Republic fleet could cause a diversion and I can redirect the security enough that Poe can get his team in to level it to the ground."

A bunch of the Resistance fighters high-fived each other and Leia could see the familiar expressions of excitement on their faces. Excitement for battle. Flight lust. However, from the higher-ranking officials, there was a grumble of disproval.

Honnix, one of the lieutenants made his way to the middle. "How do we know that this isn't a scheme for you to double-cross us?"

Leia could see Ben play with the cuts from the cuffs that were on his wrists earlier. Pressure made him anxious and anxiety made his temper explode. It was a habit that he's had since he was a little boy. "I'm hoping that with this mission I could earn the Resistance's trust and we can stop Snoke once and for all."

"What about the girl?" Finn asked.

Ben's eyes flashed with concern. "What about her?"

"Will they be able to extract from her your new allegiance with us?"

Leia could see Ben think about that, his jaw set. "No. She's too strong for their interrogation tactics."

"It seems a little fishy to all of a sudden have a Resistance attack right after Kylo Ren rejoins their ranks." One of the pilots piped up as he leaned casually on the railing. "Do you think they'll figure it out?"

Ben pressed his mouth into a hard line and his eyebrows knitted together. He was foreseeing the disproval he would get with his next statement. "Well, I was thinking I would show up with a prisoner, that way the Resistance has cause to attack and it wouldn't seem so coincidental."

"Prisoner?"

"Mom, could you get in touch with Uncle Luke?"

* * *

Rey sat with her legs curled underneath her and her eyes closed. With her hands clasped just so in her lap, she listened to the sound of the ocean off the coast of the island she was sitting on while she dug around in the Force.

Her brow furrowed. Meditation was probably the hardest thing for her to do, as her attention was always wanted to dart all over the place, with her being on a planet made out of the most water she's ever seen in her entire life, and her lessons with Master Luke, and combat training with Master Anakin's lightsaber. But she fought the urge to open her eyes and instead opened herself up to the will of the Force.

She inhaled deeply and exhaled, reaching and touching. She found General Organa's presence in the Force. She was used to touching her as she was so familiar and so very much like Master Luke's, just weaker. But there was something else too. Something familiar…

Her eyes snapped open and she jumped to her feet, scanning the outcroppings of rocks for Master Luke. Panic seized her chest and she ran, jumping from ledge to ledge until she found him sitting in the shade, pushing gears back together. "Master Luke, I feel Kylo Ren's presence in the Force and it's really close to General Organa." She said in one breath.

Master Luke always took about a half-second to process Rey's words before he spoke. He didn't even look up from the device he was working on. "Did you feel the Light or the Dark?"

"I don't know what you mean." She shook her head. "I just felt _him."_

"Close your eyes and feel again and then tell me if it's the Light or the Dark."

Rey was a little puzzled why her master didn't show any signs of concern that the most lethal being in the galaxy was probably on the same planet as his sister and only family, but she did what she was told. With a big inhale and exhale, she felt with her fingers in the Force General Organa's weak presence and then she found Kylo Ren's.

"Enter his mind."

"But, Master-,"

"Enter his mind. I know you can do it." Master Luke insisted.

Rey pierced the mind of Kylo Ren. Flashes of images of a thin girl with white, white hair around Rey's age filled Rey's mind. Images of a Resistance base. Images of Finn with his gun pointed towards him. Images of his mother. As Rey moved around in Ren's mind, she could feel something different. There was healing here. "I feel the Light." She opened her eyes and rejoined her Master on their island.

"Good, Rey. Did you feel the connection?"

"The girl with the white hair?"

"Aurelia."

"She did…something. Healing?"

Master Luke shrugged and finally looked up, his bright blue eyes flashing mysteriously at Rey. "Something like that."

"Kylo Ren has deserted the Dark Side?" She crouched down next to the old man, waiting for her next lesson in the strange ways of the Force.

He sighed and looked sad. "Yes, thanks to Aurelia's healing, he understands his offenses and has suppressed his rage that feeds into the Dark Side power. He is strong now against the seductions of the Dark Side. But, he will never be able to completely come back to the Light."

"Why is that?"

"Guilt." Master Luke said. "His understanding has made him feel his guilt, therefore he is plagued with pain and will never be free of the bindings that that part of the Force holds."

Rey looked at the grass and thought about this for a moment. It must've been so hard to have a permanent darkness pervading the inner corners of one's being."What's going to happen, then?"

Luke's eyes went back to flashing with a smile. "I bet we should start heading to Onderon."


	22. Chapter 22

Aurelia stuck a finger in the bowl that was passed through the little slot of her prison cell, and it came back cold and wet. It was some sort of gruel, she guessed as she smelled it and then placed it back down on the ground. Food was a gesture, she knew that. Snoke knew she wasn't eating and instead channeling the Force to sustain her.

Snoke also was starting to understand the scope of Aurelia's power. This concerned Aurelia as she always cultivated a good image of weakness. She wasn't even sure what she was capable of herself, as she never had a subject to test her limits on. But now everyday as a shield of Darkness went up around Aurelia to keep the pain fresh and the communication severed, she tore through it. Everyday as she did that, she felt herself grow more powerful as her skill was stretched further and further.

She wondered if she should just leave the shield be for a day. Make Snoke think that he had finally reached her threshold. But then she wouldn't be able to talk with Ben. She wouldn't be able to enter his mind and tell him that she was okay and that she was waiting for him. And that she loved him. She wouldn't be able to do the one thing that made all the fighting worthwhile.

Aurelia scooted to the door of her prison cell. With a gathering of the Force, she let her Force Sight take over and walk her through the base she was detained in. Because of her blind eyes, the Force took over as her sense of vision. She could feel the presence of objects and walls, hear footsteps and heartbeats, and sense life forces enough that she could distinguish races. She felt the Stormtroopers that guarded her door. KW-2020 and FW-1738 were the trooper on shift right now. She entered the head of one and sifted through his memories of a life of being a Stormtrooper, until she came to one of Kylo Ren, his helmet on and his chin held high as he barked orders to the troopers through the voice modulator of the mask. Watching the old him was fascinating. It was like he was a completely different person as Kylo Ren. No. Not a person. He was a monster as Kylo Ren.

While she watched memories of Ben's old life through the eyes of one who beheld it, she felt a familiar presence enter the prison cell. She hurriedly pushed herself back against the on the far side of the cell, and gripped her knees.

There was a _whooshing_ of a door and a stomping of flight boots. "Aurelia," General Hux cooed gently. Her name sounded disgusting in his mouth. "Our presence is being requested by the Supreme Leader."

"Why would he want me?" She asked, but didn't move. "I'm just a nobody from Somewhere."

"I don't question the Supreme Leader. Now, stand up, girl." He yanked her up by the upper-arm and followed him out of the cell as he guided her by the arm.

"That's not what your memories say." She provoked quietly. She foresaw the slamming against the wall a split second before it happened and could've evaded it easily. But, she didn't. Making Hux think that he was stronger than her was easiest way for her to use his knowledge to her advantage. Provoking him into anger also made his thoughts fly faster, letting Aurelia dig to find things like the layout of the base and passcodes to the primary security system.

She regained her footing and followed behind the general without anymore objection to the familiar icy cold room. She tried pushing out with her Force Sight, but this room was suppressive to her power. It pulsed with Dark Side energy. It was living and it consumed the Light that dared tried to go against it, like a predator eating its prey.

"Supreme Leader." The General put a hand on Aurelia and yanked her to a stop. "We were summoned by you?"

"Yes," The figure said. Aurelia thought back to her journey through Ben's mind. The warped, twisted face of Snoke pervaded her consciousness and a shiver ran down her spine. "I did summon you both. General Hux, what is the status on locating Kylo Ren?"

Aurelia kept her mind blank and cool as her expression and posture. Hux sounded almost too giddy to give a status report of Kylo Ren. "We have his lightsaber and parts of his armor. However, we have not traced his location."

Snoke made a thoughtful noise. "Tell the search party to fall back. Kylo Ren has proven that he is too weak for the First Order. If he wants to prove himself worthy, he will find his own way back to the base."

Aurelia allowed herself a tiny sigh of relief. With the First Order ceasing to search for Kylo Ren, it will allow the Resistance to formulate a plan to get to the First Order base without much hindrance.

"My dear," Snoke managed in the most poisonous tone possible. "I have a proposition for you." Aurelia snapped her attention back to Snoke. "The last couple of days you have proven yourself powerful in the Force." He gave a little sigh. "You would make a great apprentice in the ways of the Dark Side and you could take over the First Order as the Supreme Leader when I am gone."

Aurelia felt her jaw drop open at the offer. She felt a push of hunger. Hunger for knowledge and power. This hunger gnawed at the back of her skull and made her weak, like an addict looking for a fix. She saw herself: a glimpse of the future, powerful in Dark mysticism and mind control, able to conjure up the worst nightmares imaginable in her enemies with the wave of a finger. She had fleets and planets and armies at her command. She was unstoppable, incomparable and irresistible.

But she was alone.

Ben's face broke through Snoke's illusion and she found herself back in reality. She couldn't picture a future without him in it anymore. He was the missing piece that completed her, the connection that bound her to the Light Side of the Force.

Another image made her stomach turn with revulsion. Ben as Snoke's puppet, moving only when Snoke wanted him too. He wasn't Snoke's apprentice. He was his slave, subservient and obedient. She would be the same way: forced to take orders for the rest of her days. "I will not join you, Snoke." She said firmly.

"So be it." He said like he was bored. "General Hux, prepare for this girl's…extermination."

A weight dropped in Aurelia. She had assumed that Snoke was going to use her as bait to catch Ben, but, apparently Snoke had given up on the both of them. They were both no longer useful or entertaining, therefore must be eliminated.

She was going to have to make her escape and pray that the Resistance hurried.

* * *

Girlsluvsuperheroes, bbjay, sarahmichellegellarfan1, and the rest of you chronic reviewers:

Thanks bae (I think you've invested enough in this story now by this point that I can call you whatever I want) I eat a waffle in your honor. Waking up to six new reviews on a story that (I think) is borderline bantha shit is frickin' amazing. Keep reviewing and I promise I'll keep posting. Also, you beautiful muffin-faces are going to face some pretty heavy fuckin' shit for a little while and then some cool action. I actually have no idea how long this fic is going to be as I mostly write it at 3 am drunk on cooking wine. Prolonged use could result in itching and flaking. Okay. Thanks bye.


	23. Chapter 23

"Isn't it crazy that Kylo Ren is here at Onderon base?" Poe listened to his flight crew gossip as he pulled himself up into the engine compartment of his X-wing Starfighter. The subject of today's debate was the fact that Ben was back on the base. Poe didn't really engage in workplace discussions as it inevitably led to an argument and he had too much to do before the raid on Byss.

He pulled a regulator out of its place and started recalibrating the mechanics. The Deep Core was the farthest and most treacherous journey Poe's X-Wing will be attempting. He couldn't afford to have mechanical issues while navigating the hyperspace route. One mistake and he would be a million pieces of space trash against the side of a passing asteroid.

"The general must be happy."

"I mean, I wouldn't be too happy if _my son_ killed the _love of my life_."

"What do you think of his plan?"

"I'm just hoping this isn't a trick and he isn't leading all of us to our doom."

Poe stuck his head out of the small opening to the compartment he had jammed his tall body in. "Guys, c'mon enough, please." He ordered, meeting eyes with most of his Red Squad. "It's a good plan."

"Well, sure it it." Jessica Testor retorted as she checked the fluids in her Starfighter, her dark hair twisted into a ponytail on top of her head. "But it's also a perfect plan to lead every leader in the Resistance to their death, including Master Luke Skywalker."

"I agree with Jessica." One of the other pilots said as he prepared artillery supplies. "Ben doesn't have the greatest of track records when it comes to turning on his allies."

Poe felt his mouth flatten into a thin line. From his place upside-down hanging out of opening of his X-Wing, he could see Ben's dark, curly hair across the hangar as he talked to General Organa, his hands punctuating his words. Poe hung onto the sides of the compartment and let gravity swing his feet underneath him and he dropped to the ground with a soft thud. "I know it sounds strange to trust someone who was our sworn enemy a month ago." He said in a motivating tone. "But, honestly guys, do you have any better plans to get to the First Order?" They looked at each and there were some grumbled 'no's. "Thought so. The way I see it is that we have not only have a First Order soldier, like Finn, we have a commander of the First Order, _the_ leader of the Knights of Ren, _and_ a powerful Force-user on our side now giving everything that we need," Poe started walking through the crowd of pilots and then turned around. " _And then some_ to get to the First Order once and for all."

"Thanks for that." A low voice said and Poe spun around to face Ben. Even though Poe was 99% sure that Ben was on their side, his dark eyes and the scar on his face still gave him a menacing, dangerous aura about him.

"Hey, buddy. Yeah, no problem." Poe said as lightly as possible, hiding the fact that Ben had startled him. He motioned to the Republic fleet of X-Wings that lined the hangar. "We're almost there."

"Good. That's…impressive." Ben looked up at the nose of Poe's X-Wing that hung over his head. "I gave the coordinates to the hyperspace route to C-3PO. He should be loading it into the Resistance's databanks as we speak. Will you guys be ready in forty-eight hours?"

"You know, I joined the Resistance because the First Order _murdered_ my entire family." Jessica piped up again as Poe was going to answer, a motivator hanging out of her hands that now were crossed. "And now I'm getting mission plans from one of their _leaders._ Is it only me or do you guys see something wrong with that picture?" There was a challenging tone to Jessica's voice, one that made Poe shoot her a look of disapproval.

"I know you guys don't trust me." Ben said, meeting Jessica's gaze. "And I know that you guys have good reasons not to and I'm completely prepared to face the Resistance's punishment for my crimes when we get back. But, you guys have to have faith in this mission." He said as he ran his fingers through his curly hair. "It's the only way to get in under Snoke's nose and get to the First Order."

"I'll believe you when Master Luke says it's okay." Jessica dropped her arms and jammed the motivator back into it's slot on her Starfighter.

The loud sound of an approaching ship filled the hangar with white noise and everyone turned to see the famed, silver Millennium Falcon start to make it's landing on the edge of the concourse. Poe glanced at Ben who had a nauseated, concerned expression on his face. "Well, it looks like you're going to get your answer sooner than you think, Jessica."


	24. Chapter 24

General Organa waited with baited breath as the hydraulics of the Millennium Falcon's door opened with a _whoosh._ She saw her brother's light gray boots before she saw his bearded face and bright, blue eyes. She rushed to him before he had completely exited the Falcon and fell into his warm, familiar embrace.

"It's so good to see you, Leia." He hugged her tightly around the shoulders. She could smell the sea on his brown robe.

"It's been far too long." She breathed back. "There's been plenty of times where I could've had the support of my little brother."

"Hey," He pulled back. "We have no proof that you came out first."

She shot him a knowing look. "Oh, come on. We're going to argue about that, again?"

His sparkly, playful eyes softened a bit and his smile faded. "I'm sorry about Han, Leia. Truly. I look for his presence in the Force everyday."

She felt something inside her wilt a little. Every time his name was mentioned it was like the wound was reopened. The stars refused to shine as brightly as they used to. The sun didn't have the same warmth. "I'm…coping."

"Have you forgiven him?"

Leia sighed through her nose. To Luke, everything seemed so black and white. Good and bad. Dark and Light. He didn't understand the intricacies of forgiving your son for murdering your husband. "In steps, yes." She answered. "I'm just happy to have him back, at the moment."

"Of course." He answered. She could see the scars on his face from where the Wampa clawed him on Hoth. That seemed so long ago. She could feel him bristle, his posture stiffening under her hands and she turned to see Ben standing about ten yards off, his dark curly hair whipped in the breeze of the open air. Luke stepped around her and started to approach his nephew.

"What's going on?" Rey, the scavenger girl that Han liked so much and Luke's new apprentice stepped down the stairs and stood next to Leia on the foot of the ramp.

"Well, we're either going to have a confrontation or an apology." Leia crossed her arms over her chest and watched her son's posture drop as he talked with Luke. "He had so much potential as a Jedi." Her hand came to her chin. "This is all my fault."

"What?" Disbelief rang with Rey's strange accent. "This isn't your fault, General Organa."

"I shouldn't have sent him away so early." Tears misted in her eyes, making her vision blurry. "He was too…emotional. Too unstable."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and Leia looked into the beautiful girl's equally beautiful eyes. "He chose the path he followed." She sighed a little. "Now he's facing the consequences of his actions." They both turned to watch conversation between Luke and Ben. It wasn't going well, seeing how Ben was now squatting, ripping weeds out of the cracks of the concrete as he listened with a distorted face to Luke's lecturing. "Better late than never, right?"

Leia made a thoughtful noise. "I know I should've trashed that helmet immediately."

"What?"

"Vader's helmet." She waved with her hand. Luke had a stronger emotional attachment to their biological father, who also happened to be their primary enemy and hunted them relentlessly. Bail Organa was Leia's father. The one who raised her. "He found the helmet and heard the tales and the seduction of the Dark Side took him."

They watched as Ben stood back up to his full height. He towered over Luke by a couple of inches. He bowed his chin and spun on his heels, heading towards the main base. Luke turned and regrouped with Rey and Leia.

"Not too painful?" Leia asked once Luke was in earshot.

Luke shrugged. "The screams of the other apprentices will haunt him forever, I'm afraid. His guilt is heavy. And that to me is enough of an apology. He understands the sacrifices that need to be done to stop the First Order and stop the Dark Side from thriving."

"And Han?"

Luke met gazes with Leia, his blue eyes steel. _The pain he feels about Han is enough to kill a galaxy._ His thoughts pervaded her head as he spoke through the Force. _He's prepared to die if it means righting his wrongs._

Leia shivered as a chill entered her bones. She wasn't aware that a heart could feel this empty.

* * *

"Rey? Rey!"

Rey turned to the sound of her monosyllabic name in the voice that she had deeply hoped she would be able to hear again. Finn was running through the hangar in his worn leather jacket. She waited and giggled as he tripped over a GNK droid, spun and caught himself before he face-planted into the asphalt.

He embraced her in a warm hug, his large body encompassing her shoulders. "I'm so happy to see you!" He pulled away to look at her face and then hugged her again.

"I'm so happy to see you too." She breathed and pulled away. His dark brown eyes shone brightly and he had a big smile on his face. "After the fight on Starkiller…"

"…I was in pretty bad shape." After a moment of silence, his eyes brightened. "You wanna see my scar?" He pulled and twisted around, pulling his shirt out of the hemline of his trousers. A jagged scar the color of purple jam ran the length of his back just left of his spine. "Hardcore, huh?"

She reached out to touch it. "Did it hurt?"

He shrugged and turned back around, fixing his shirt haphazardly. "I floated in a bacta tank for, like, three weeks. So, I didn't really feel anything."

She hugged him again, squeezing him tight and pressing her face into the soft, worn leather of his jacket. Joy filled her chest with butterflies as she was so afraid that she would never be able to speak to her best friend again. "I'm so glad you're okay, Finn."

He hugged her back. "Huh? You're glad." He made a disbelieving noise. "I should be glad. Without you I would've been maimed. Or you know, worse, like…" His sentence trailed off and Rey looked up to see Kylo Ren approaching from the other side of the hangar. He had a HoloReader in his hand and his brow was furrowed as he examined the contents of the file he was reading.

Repulsion filled Rey's chest with anger and fire. The scar that was shot down the length of Finn's back was because of him. Han Solo, the closest thing she had to a father was _dead_ because of him. Master Luke's other apprentices were dead because of him. His mother was almost crippled with grief _because of him._ Without thinking about it, she felt the cold handle of a lightsaber in the palm of her hand and it hummed with energy as it ignited.

He met eyes with her and a strange expression crossed his face. "I'm not going to fight you." He said quietly and stopped about twenty feet away from where she and Finn stood. "Don't let your anger cloud your judgment."

"You're one to talk." She reproached. She felt the protective shield of the Force cover her as she flourished the blue blade. She knew what he was capable of. She knew it all too well.

"I'm your ally." He said again. "I'm no longer apart of the First Order."

"How can I we trust you?" Her arms opened in a questioning gesture. She could feel the energy of the Force raise the hair on her arms. It moved through her fluidly. It controlled her, but she guided it.

His stance widened in response to her increasing power. She could feel a shield go up around him. "I want to destroy the First Order." He answered. "You can't trust me. Nobody can. I'm asking on faith. Will you help me?"

She thought about his words that he spoke to Han Solo. _I'm being torn apart._ _I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?_

She went to lash out, anger making her blind, but she felt the familiar feeling of her muscles tightening against their will. Her lightsaber dropped out of her hand and she was frozen in place. But it wasn't Kylo Ren that was holding her there.

"That's enough, Rey." Master Luke came to her side and picked up her lightsaber. "Remember what I showed you. Enter his mind. Remember the healing. There's no more malice or deceit." Her arms dropped as Master Luke ceased his control over her, handing back her lightsaber at the same time. "Don't let anger control the Force inside of you. That path leads to the Dark Side. There is no emotion, there is peace. Only when you have inner-peace, you may engage combat, thinking clearly and effectively."

Rey felt the anger burn down inside of her and she felt foolish as she re-clipped her lightsaber to her belt. "I apologize, Ben Solo." She said and stared into his eyes, pushing into his mind. She found the girl again. The one with the long white hair.

"I'm sorry too." He said quietly. "For everything. I mean it."

She fought the urge to spit in his face, turn around and leave Onderon for the peace of the ocean planet or Jakku or anywhere that wasn't in the vicinity of Kylo Ren. "Thank you."

* * *

Because I know you're totally going to ask (or not) I'm a total slut for Rey/Finn pairing. It's magical and perfect and biracial and I'm too convinced that Rey could be in the Skywalker family tree somewhere to ship her with anyone else. I can't jump on the Reylo bandwagon. I've tried reading Reylo stuff and it's weird. It's like space Game of Thrones or Space Deliverance. Sorry Reylo shippers. #kinkshaming2016

However Rey/Finn isn't my OTP. My completely canon OTP is Chewbacca and Maz. Mazbacca.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey broskis, So here's a little tidbit chapter (honestly with the way this story is going, it's going to be like 50 chapters long. Complainers can get at the back of the line, thanks) that I wanted as a standalone thing because it aides in the character development of *dun dun* Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and his relationship with Leia, because honestly I'm the author of this story but I have no idea how Leia feels about her son. I need to go get coffee with her and we need to chat or something. You guys can debate about it in the reviews. Share your ideas and I'll read them while stroking my dog with my foot.**

 **Oh Fuck. Oh sorry. There _was_ a reason why you got a random author's note at the beginning of a chapter instead of the end. I'm shit at trigger warnings. Sorry. Sorry. But yeah, there's a described anxiety attack in this chapter for those of you who are sensitive to that sort of thing. **

* * *

Ben laid awake staring at the ceiling, his sheets knotted around is knees and sweat beading on his forehead as he listened to the pulse in his ears.

Nights were always extremely difficult for Ben. They had been since he was a little boy. Nightmares made themselves a reality. The Darkness threated to overtake everything he loved. Every time he closed his eyes he was forced to relive the mistakes of his past, causing him to panic. The screams of children half of his age as he cut them down. His father's eyes, wide with betrayal. The emptiness in his mother's voice.

He grounded his fists into his eye sockets until fireworks clouded his vision. Terror made his pulse race and he fought to keep his breathing even in vain. He picked at the skin that tingled on his arms with his fingernails.

He pushed himself to a sitting position on the edge of the cot and put his head between his knees, letting this anxiety attack run its course. There was no point in calling on the Force to calm himself down when another wave of panic would start again in a couple of minutes anyway.

There was a _whooshing_ of a door and Ben looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Why…aren't you asleep…Mom?" He managed between heavy breaths. Hyperventilation made his lungs feel like they were going to explode out of his ribcage. She crossed the small room and sat down next to him on the bed, placing a hand on his sweaty back and pushing him down so his head was low between his knees.

"Breathe." She ordered softly. "Inhale slowly. Hold. And exhale."

He did as he was told, forcing himself to breathe slowly. He felt his heart rate drop and the pounding in his head lessened. "Did I wake you?" He asked after a moment. There was a weak empathetic link that bound them in the Force. Mother and son. It was the link that would save him from rolling out of bed when he was a toddler or catch him before falling out of a tree.

"I haven't slept very well since you left, honestly." She said and rubbed his back. "Nights are hard for me too."

He picked his head up and looked into his mother's eyes. They glistened even in the dark. "I'm sorry." His voice cracked with tears. "I've been so horrible to you my whole life. You never deserved it. You deserved a child like Rey. You _both_ deserved a child like Rey." Ben pulled a knee to his chest, curling his toes around the edge of the bed. He thought about Rey. His father had taken an instant liking to her, she was spunky and independent and knowledgeable about piloting, something Ben had never taken an interest in.

"Maybe." He looked at her and could see a tiny smile on her lips. "But we didn't _want_ a child like Rey. We wanted _you._ " She placed her chin on his shoulder and her hand clasped with his. "And we thought we lost you forever. But you weren't lost. Not like Vader."

He made a thoughtful noise. "No, I'm not Vader. I wanted to be. I wanted to be better than Vader. Now though…" He ran his fingers through his hair that was starting to puff with sweat. "Now, I just want to make everything right."

She kissed the back of his fingers and put his hand down. "Well, you need to get some sleep." She stood up and walked out the door. "You have a pretty big day tomorrow."

Ben laid back down on his cot, one of his long legs on the floor. Another wave of panic crashed over him like tsunami. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt the sweat bead off of his face, as he fought to control his breathing. Big day was an understatement.

It was going to be the day of reckoning.


	26. Chapter 26

**Again, I'm totally shit at trigger warnings, but there's a pretty big rape-y one in this chapter. Basically, General Adolf Weasley Dick-Muncher can't keep his tiny Starkiller in his pants when he goes to execute Aurelia, tries to put his rebel in her Sarlacc pit. Do with that what you will.**

* * *

General Hux waited until the evening shift came off of duty and was replaced with the first night watch before heading towards the prison cells. He was ecstatic that the Supreme Leader tasked him for the termination of the girl, as he didn't care how Hux did it…or what happened before he did it either.

She was maddening, absolutely infuriating and every time he came into the same room with the blank-eyed girl, he wanted to rip his hair out or her head off. Whichever.

However, she was gorgeous. She had a pretty, feminine oval face with light pink lips that she would lick every once in awhile. Her fingers were long and delicate and Hux could see her white throat flutter with her pulse. He wanted to feel her. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to have her.

No, he _needed_ to have her. And then she would die.

He had called down an Interrogation droid to the prison cells and had it loaded with lethal injections. When he got there he tipped his chin to the troopers on night watch and entered the only prison cell in use at the main Byss stronghold.

Aurelia was sitting in her usual spot on the floor. Hux wondered if her refusal to sit in the debriefing chair in the middle of the room was out of defiance or fear. He didn't care, honestly. He will get what he wanted even if she was strapped to the ceiling.

"Hello, my dear."

"Are you here to 'exterminate' me?" She asked, a bored tone in her voice. Her eyes were pitched to the floor and she stared at the space just in front of Hux's feet, her hands cupping her knees and her bare toes flexing.

"In time." He said. "But first, let's chat." He watched the girl get slowly to her feet and then touch the arm of the chair to guide herself into it. "I'm curious: does your blindness hinder your abilities?"

Her eyes rolled to the ceiling. "I rely on the Force to see for me. In a sense, those who use their eyes are hindered as they don't trust in the Force enough to let it guide their senses."

Hux paced back and forth in front of the chair. "Can you see me?"

"I can see you're a life-form." She answered. "I can sense your heat signature and your fingerprints, albeit weak, in the Force. I can hear your thoughts. I can make out that you have eyes and a nose and hands. I can sense your emotion in the way you roll your tongue when you're mad and I can hear your heartbeat race with lust for me."

Hux stopped in front of the girl. Her hair was thrown across one shoulder and draped over her round, supple-looking breasts. He licked his lips, but continued to speak. "But you can't see that I have red hair or the color of my uniform?"

She shrugged. "No, I can't."

"How unfortunate to go through life without seeing color." He approached her and ran his hand down her throat and down her chest. "Without seeing into the eyes of another person."

"I've seen those I've loved." She said. "That's enough."

Hux snorted and stopped just before slipping his hand down her shirt. "Who do you have to love? Who do you have in the galaxy to love?"

She leaned forward out of the chair, getting close to the general's ear. The general's pulse raced and he could smell her lovely, white hair. "The galaxy gave me Kylo Ren." She whispered. "There's nothing that he hasn't touched. He will always be one step ahead of you. He will always take what you cannot have."

 _Kylo Ren._ His name snapped Hux with anger and he struck the girl across the face. Breathing hard, he started to grope her body and she squirmed underneath his weight. _Kylo Ren will not take this from me. He will not have this satisfaction of taking this from me._ He started to undo his trousers with one hand while holding her down by the throat with the other. "Well, Kylo Ren isn't here to save you, now, is he?" He laughed, spit forming around the corners of his mouth as he literally salivated at the thought of taking this girl.

His muscles locked up, freezing him into place. This pulse still throbbed in his ears and his eyes searched wildly. He looked down and saw blood dribble down the side of the girl's chin. Her jaw was set and with a gesture of her fingers, Hux was slammed up against the wall.

Moving so quick, Hux only comprehended it as a blur of white hair, Aurelia was standing in front of Hux, her teeth bared.

"You know what's crazy?" She spat, venom in her voice. "Kylo Ren has murdered people, burned down villages, and watched planets be destroyed, but he was never a rapist." She said quietly. "And that makes him twice the man that you are." With another gesture he was slammed into the debriefing chair, the mechanics of the arm and leg locks clicking into place around his limbs.

She pulled his small hat off of his head and jammed it into his mouth so far, he could feel it tickle the back of his throat. He was trapped now and no one would be able to find him here. "General." She bowed and then walked through the open doors of her prison cell, closing them with the Force.


	27. Chapter 27

"Luke and I are going to be flying in the Falcon to the main base." Ben said as a hologrammed image of the base spun for him in the HoloReader of the large briefing room, reacting to his words. "Rey and Finn will hide in the freight compartment underneath. Once we are in, we can turn the exterior shields down." He looked around the room, making sure everyone was on the same page as him. All the faces were intent and focused. "I will give the signal and Blue Squad can start a diversion to the North, this'll allow a redistribution of the security fleet that orbits Byss. Once they are thoroughly distracted, Poe can bring in Green and Red squad and bomb the two strongholds."

"What are you going to be doing with Luke in the base?" Someone asked from the back.

"Hopefully killing Snoke and eliminating the possibility of a First Order resurgence." Ben answered. "Any more questions?" Once he was satisfied that everyone understood their objectives, he dismissed them to their stations.

Poe walked up to Ben dressed in his orange flight suit and clapped him on his back. "We'll get 'em." Poe said, his eyes dancing with excitement. They did the same when he had first confronted him on Jakku. If Poe had fear, he hid it well. He stepped back and inspected the half of Kylo Ren's uniform that he came to the base in. The First Order had the rest, along with his lightsaber. "I'm not going to lie; this armor is scary."

Ben smiled and looked down. "Am I convincing enough?"

"What, that you're still the First Order's bad-boy? Of course!" Poe was tapped on the back and he nodded at the fellow pilot. "See you on the other side, brother." Ben nodded an affirmation at possibly his only friend on this base and turned to face his mother.

"You better come back." She said as she looked up, her eyes sparkling with determination. "I don't want any more of this running off to join the enemy. And don't get yourself killed, either."

He nodded. "I promise, Mo-, I mean, General Organa." He bent at the knees and gave her a hug, smelling her hair that was piled on top of her head.

Ben turned and started making his way to the Millennium Falcon. There was a buzz in the air of excitement, battle-lust, and a chance for victory. It made the atmosphere electric and gave everyone a restless hunger for the anticipation of the defeat of the First Order.

The Falcon was perched at the corner of the hangar, gleaming in the warm sunlight that filtered through the canopy of the thick jungle. Finn was loading supplies with a cart that he was struggling to push up the ramp and Rey was on top, half of her body in a compartment she was working on, her boots sticking up and out.

"Finn, you have to use your legs." Luke guided and helped Finn steady his cart with the Force before it tumbled off the edge. R2-D2, Luke's loyal AstroMech droid chirped an approval behind him.

"You should try pushing this! What's even it in? Rocks?"

"Explosives." Luke answered.

"Why does everyone make me the explosives guy?" He growled angrily and disappeared into the ship with the load of artillery.

"Ben," Luke's wise, blue eyes turned on his nephew. "Are you ready to face the First Order?"

That was hard question. Ben squinted at Rey's backside as she maneuvered further into the engine of the ship. The First Order had to be stopped before they destroyed the galaxy and everything they loved. Before they destroyed Aurelia. It was going to be hard, very hard, but Ben was ready to sacrifice everything if it meant stopping the First Order. "I'm ready."

"You're going to be facing the temptation of the Dark Side." Luke said, his voice becoming concerned. "You must not give in. There are countless lives at stake and you hold the balance of the mission. You must not let Snoke take control."

Ben pushed the knot of terror that was forming in chest away. He couldn't panic at this point in time. Byss was known for being infused with Dark Side energies. It thrived on the Dark Side, like a parasite living off of a host. He knew his resolution was going to be tested.

But he had a mission to complete.

Aurelia was counting on him.

* * *

The layout of the base confused Aurelia as everything seemed to blur together into a labyrinth of identical, metal corridors. Keeping one hand on the wall, she guided herself as far away as possible from the prison cells, trying to find an area where she could disappear from the troopers that patrolled the halls. She thought about her appearance, she probably looked the complete opposite of the cold, industrialist feeling of these hallways with her homespun shirt, bare feet, and wild, wavy hair.

She felt two heartbeats approaching and with the help of the Force, shut down their consciousness with a wave of her hand listened to them crash against the the floor, asleep. Continuing down the hall, she tried to feel for anything that would get her off the main walkway. Finally, her hand slipped into a small doorway and she folded herself inside of it. She groped around for what seemed like forever until her fingers touched a ladder. _This must be a service pathway._ She thought as she descended down.

Stopping when she felt no life forms near her, she called on the Force to recall Hux's memories. The layout of the base was embedded there along with all the other pertinent information a general of the First Order should know. She was descending towards one of the generator houses that powered the base, she thought. Or maybe she was gong towards the basement. Or maybe she was going to the outside of the base. She blew her bangs out of her face as she continued to descend the ladder. Aurelia had to admit it: she was lost.

She thought about reaching out to Ben, but she didn't want to put him in danger. He had shielded his presence in the Force, making him undetectable to anyone who was looking for him. When she felt that, she stopped communicating with him, so Snoke wouldn't be able to feel their link anymore.

Her plan was to try and get off this base, away from the suppressive energies of the Dark Side. At that point, she could reach out to Ben without fear of putting him in danger with the First Order.

She landed softly on a platform without any railings. _This is no place for a blind person._ She thought as she felt around with the Force. There was a big opening underneath her. A big opening that she could potentially fall into if she wasn't careful. Lowering herself to her knees, she carefully maneuvered to one of the power cells that were suspended over the opening. She tried to think about her warm fire pit at home and not the plunge beneath her.


	28. Chapter 28

Rey watched the coordinates vigilantly as the Millennium Falcon flew at lightspeed through the Inner Core. This was a treacherous journey, one that required full attention on their path and extremely careful calculations as to avoid colliding with a black hole or a passing asteroid.

Rey stole a tiny glance at Master Luke, who was co-piloting for her. His chin was on his hand, and he seemed bored, the way he stared out the window into the tunnel that was created when traveling at hyperspeed. But she knew he was deep in the Force meditating.

Kylo Ren was also meditating in the lounge behind her. _I probably should call him Ben._ She thought. She could feel the power of the Force radiate off of him in waves. He didn't control the expulsion of energy like Master Luke did, so it made Rey's teeth vibrate and her skin tingle.

She prodded a little with the Force, the way Luke taught her into Ben's head. She could feel the Light, like a beacon carefully crafted by healing hands, and it shone through the Dark. There was something else though and it was like a poisonous gas, threatening to choke whoever dared enter out. The Light had to fight to shine through it.

 _You know, digging through someone's head is extremely rude._ Ben's voice pushed into her thoughts.

She snapped her eyes to her panel to make sure they were still on course, hiding her embarrassment. _Sorry._ She projected out while adjusting controls with her nimble fingers.

 _It's pain, if that's what you're wondering._

She inhaled a deep breath, thinking about her and Master Luke's conversation when she felt Ben's presence in the Force. _He will never be able to completely come back to the Light._ The Darkness of guilt and pain. The Light was there and it guided him, but he was still forced to fight through the Dark. The Dark Side was the one that amplified her rage and sorrow yesterday with Kylo Ren. It made her feel like he should be destroyed to atone for his mistakes. She was blind with fury. It controlled her. The Light is forgiving and unconditional. It understands that with emotion, there cannot be mercy and without mercy, there cannot be peace in the Force. She knew this and believed this with all of her being.

But if she believed this, why was she still having so much trouble forgiving Ben for his mistakes?

She placed her full focus back on the control panel, pushing the doubt regarding Force-wielder behind her out of her head. She noticed that the Falcon was about to descend out of hyperspeed. "Guys, we need to switch hands." She called back. "Byss is coming up."

She heard two pairs of boots as Finn and Ben came into the cockpit. She pushed the ship out of hyperspeed, turning the drive off and the purple planet of Byss came into view. She watched Ben hand a pair of cuffs to Master Luke, his eyes dark and his jaw set.

"What a creepy looking planet." Finn remarked as he leaned on the piloting chairs to get a better look out of the window.

"It used to be nice," Ben said. "Like a paradise."

"That's how the Dark Side works." Master Luke said as he snapped the cuffs on his wrists. "It corrupts everything it touches."

"If you guys have any trouble," Ben said as Rey got up and he sat down in the pilot's seat. "Use the coms."

"We won't." Rey said confidently and headed back to hide in the undercarriage of the Millennium Falcon.

 _Let's get the First Order._

* * *

"Identify yourself." A voice barked through the communicator as the Falcon started to descend through the atmosphere of Byss. The wild trees and grasslands were starting to become clearer and the energy of the Dark Side was starting to become more powerful.

"This is Commander Kylo Ren." Ben said coolly through the speaker. "ID number alpha-two-five-six-twelve and prisoner, requesting landing."

"Yes, sir." The voice clipped and almost seemed surprised to hear him. "Alpha Echo zone is clear for landing, Commander."

He made his descent, letting the feet of Falcon touch down on in the hangar. He had been to Byss only once before as Kylo Ren to speak with Snoke, the rest of the time he was travelling with the Knight of Ren through the Outer Rim, destroying Resistance bases and interfering with reconnaissance.

A group of the lieutenants dressed in First Order gray met Ben at the foot of the ramp as he led his uncle, who was now shackled, down it. He put on his face that was mix of boredom, irritation, and intimidation that Kylo Ren was in the habit of wearing.

"Kylo Ren," The lieutenant looked nervous as he greeted the Force-wielder, his eyes glancing quickly at Luke. "We were starting to think that we had lost you."

"Don't think lieutenant." Ben answered automatically. "It makes you look quite unintelligent. I have secured Luke Skywalker as a prisoner of the First Order."

The lieutenant gulped at the insult and with a wave of his hand, had a group of Stormtroopers lead Luke off, who was making a convincing show of being weak and humbled. Ben watched him disappear down a corridor out of the corner of his eye. He could also feel Rey and Finn sneak off the ship, around cartons of supplies, their presences receding as they snuck into the main base. "The Supreme Leader should be thrilled to have Luke Skywalker in his possession."

"Yes he should." Ben said distractedly, feeling around in the Force for a familiar, missing item in the base. He was relieved when he found it, as it called to him almost. He was relieved that it hadn't been discarded or destroyed. His lightsaber was an extension of himself through the Force, and he had felt odd these past days without it clipped to his side, ready to be used.

"Our intelligence reports that we have found a main base of the Resistance on the planet of Onderon and another reports that there are Republic refugees hiding on the planet Naboo-,"

"I would like to change into my full armor now and reclaim my personal effects." Ben cut the lieutenant off, his gaze steel as he stared at the officer.

"O-Of course." The lieutenant said and started to walk to one of the hallways that shot off of the main hangar. Ben followed him. "We kept everything together." He explained as he led Ben into a storage warehouse that was jammed with crates of Stormtrooper uniforms and plunder collected from pillaging Resistance bases. Ben watched the lieutenant opened a crate with a code. "We were also able to secure this before the desecration of the Starkiller Base." He pulled out Kylo Ren's helmet, the chrome brow gleamed in the dim light of the warehouse, it's dark eye piece staring menacingly. Ben took the helmet, examining the dented face. It repulsed him, thinking about the crimes he had committed while wearing this helmet. _This wasn't him anymore._ He positioned it on his head, and it clicked into place with a short hiss.

But he can pretend for a little while.


	29. Chapter 29

Rey just loved that the First Order basically built everything the same: ships, bases, strongholds, warehouses. This made scavenging for good parts easy on the Imperial-class ships that sat gathering dust and sand on her homeworld of Jakku. And it made getting in to the powerbase to shut off the cells that kept the shields running easy as Corellian pie.

As long as she didn't get killed in the process, of course.

"Just like old times." Finn whispered as he crawled next to Rey through a tiny droid service tunnel. "You and I, on our hands and knees, evading certain death-,"

"Shh." She held up her hand and Finn and her stopped. She could feel someone else in the Force the tunnel up ahead. This presence was unfamiliar, but she could sense the power. "There's someone up there." She pointed and started double-timing her steps towards the powerhouse.

"We're going towards it?" Finn asked frantically, trying to keep up with her as they crawled to the tiny door at the end of the tunnel. Rey pushed it open and stepped out to the catwalk below.

"Oh, jeez." Finn said as he looked at the deep chasm that made up one of the powerhouses and stepped out to one of the catwalks. His words echoed, hitting the cylindrical walls and bouncing back. Rey didn't respond, she was trying to feel the presence in the Force. It seemed to have disappeared, which puzzled Rey as she tried to search harder.

"So, how do we shut these things off?" Finn asked as he passed Rey on the catwalk and walked to the large, man-sized generator that was suspended over the hole. The gorge roared Finn's words back at him four times over.

Rey was snapped out of her meditation. "Don't touch anything, Finn!"

He yanked his hands back. "Why?"

Rey moved along the catwalk and joined Finn at his elbow. "Messing with anything without disabling the security feature will set off an alarm."

"Well, we don't want that." Finn said as he looked around at the large cylinder. "I wonder why it's so big."

"Air circulation." Rey responded as she regarded the hole below. "These things get super hot without proper air circulation. She went to the edge of the catwalk and got to her knees. "Hold my feet." She ordered and Finn obeyed, getting into the same stance and holding her ankles firmly.

Rey pitched her head over the side of the catwalk and her world turned upside-down. _This is a large powercell._ When she was a scavenger, the converters and the supply of cortosis in the batteries always fetched nice prices. However, they were extremely dangerous to get to, as you could fall from 300 meters in the air through a cylinder that resembled the one she was in now.

She reached underneath the catwalk for the security device that was attached to the bottom of the generator. The small black box blinked defiantly as it sat just centimeters from her fingertips. "I need to go lower." She said and felt Finn's grasp loosen enough that she could shimmy her body forward.

She felt herself slip from Finn's fingers and tip forward, losing her precarious balance on the walkway. She grabbed the first thing her fingers could touch, which was the security device and yanked it out of the powercell, its wires pulling loose. She squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating her fall and when she realized that she she wasn't plummeting to her death, she opened her eyes to Finn holding her by the wrist of the hand that wasn't holding the security device. "I got you." He asked and tried to get a better grip, but his fingers slipped and her arm came loose of his grasp. Panic seized her chest as she started to falling through the cylinder.

Her muscles locked in place in a familiar feeling of Force hold. She watched amazed as the hole below her decreased in size as she was raised slowly past the edge of the skywalk and dropped onto solid ground. Rey sat panting and fighting off nausea, dizziness making the room spin.

"I'm so sorry about that." Finn knelt in front of her, a hand on her shoulder. She could see the concern in his eyes and his pulse in his throat. He was panicking as much as she was. "Are you okay?"

Rey nodded her head. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"You should be more careful." A light voice said and Rey jumped to her feet, her knees still shaking. She watched a girl with white, wild wavy hair drop silently onto the catwalk. Her feet were bare and dirty and she was wearing rags, but Rey could feel the power of the Force radiate off of her.

"Who are you?" Finn asked, getting to his feet behind Rey. She heard the clicking of his blaster-pistol safety turning off.

"The powercell goblin." She said flatly. Her eyes were an odd, milky color and they stared through them, emotionless. "Who are you?" She squatted and hugged her knees.

"You're not First Order?"

A small smile played on her lips, but it never met her eyes. "Do I look like First Order?"

Finn gave an approving noise. "I'm Finn and this is Rey. We're with the Resistance."

"I'm Aurelia." She said. "You guys are trying to shut down the shields, right?"

"Wait, _you're_ Aurelia?" Finn pushed past Rey, his boots clanking on the metal grate of the catwalk. "You're Aurelia?"

"Yeah," Her brow furrowed. "Is that a problem?"

"No, no." Finn said and crossed his arms. "You're just…not what I expected, is all."

The same small smile crossed her lips and Rey could tell that she was reading Finn's mind. "I get that a lot. Powering off each generator is going to take a long time, right?" Aurelia guessed and pointed towards the top of the ceiling with one hand.

"Yes, but it's the only way to manually shut down the shields." Rey finally spoke. While Aurelia had power, she was also extremely guarded and Rey wasn't trained enough to pierce past the strong shields she had up. It was hard to tell if she had them trapped in a corner, or were their saviors. _She has us trapped here, so we might as well trust her._

"What if we can get a First Order officer to do it for us?"

There was some silence. "But who has the authority to shut down all the shields of the world?" Finn asked. "No lieutenant has that power. Kylo Ren doesn't even have that power."

"We need to get to the prison cells." Aurelia answered.


	30. Chapter 30

Aurelia could feel Finn and Rey's presences as they moved through the base. Finn was surprised that Aurelia wasn't actually a Wampa, because he assumed that the only being that would be capable of romantic involvement with Kylo Ren would obviously be a monster of some sort. Rey was still trying to size up Aurelia, keeping herself guarded, but also reading her through the Force.

They moved swiftly, retracing Aurelia's steps as they made their way up to the prison wing. Aurelia was having a bit of trouble keeping up with the two of them as there was nothing to grip with the Force, nothing to see but the two unfamiliar figures and the two walls of the corridors they were moving through.

"You guys have to slow down." Aurelia whispered as she hurriedly tried to keep pace with the two of them. She bumped into what felt like Finn's back. "I can't see."

"You can't see?" He whispered back and turned around.

"Physically, yeah." She said, reaching out and laying a hand on a wall and another on Finn's chest.

"Well it makes sense then."

"What makes sense?" Aurelia breathed, frustration in her voice. They needed to move quickly for Ben's plan to work. Stopping in them middle of the corridor was not going to help.

"You and Ben." Finn answered.

Aurelia felt Rey take her hand and grip it tightly, leading her down the hallway, they picked up their pace again and Aurelia felt more confident with where she was placing her feet with Rey as her guide. Finn's comments about Ben annoyed her, but from the memories of Kylo Ren that Aurelia could find in Finn's head, he had pretty good reason not to like him. "You think I love Ben because I can't _see_ him?" Aurelia whispered angrily when they stopped to look around a corner to make sure it was clear.

"I mean, he's not the most attractive guy." Aurelia could hear the shrug in his voice.

Irritation and frustration popped in Aurelia's chest. "I've walked through Ben's head; I know him better than he knows _himself._ You're just jealous-,"

"Will you guys shut up, you're arguing is going to get us killed!" Rey whispered loudly with her strange accent and squeezed Aurelia's hand so tight that Aurelia had to fight not to cry out in pain.

"Halt right there!" An unfamiliar voice commanded on the other side of the hallway. Before Aurelia could enter his mind to turn off his consciousness, there was a quick _Pew! Pew!_ and a crash to the ground.

"I have an idea." Finn said as he breathed hard, his back against the wall. "We're going to the prison block, right?"

"Yeah." Both girls said at once.

"I'll put on the Stormtrooper uniform and pretend Aurelia is my prisoner. Then we don't have to sneak around."

"What should I do?" Rey asked.

Aurelia felt the presence before she could hear the loud footsteps and turned quickly, to face another Stormtrooper that was stepping around the corner. With a blast of the Force, she entered his mind and quickly shut down his cognizance, driving him into a slumber. With a crash of plexi on metal, the Stormtrooper face-planted onto the floor.

"I think that just about answers it." Aurelia turned back to Finn and Rey.

* * *

Ben marched quickly down to the prison level of the base, now dressed in full Kylo Ren battle armor and clothes. He felt odd, off almost, to be dressed in Kylo Ren's uniform again. The long, dark robes swished around his knees, and his cowl was heavy around his shoulders.

His atmosphere of intimidation that he cultivated was back, he noted, as soldiers and troopers made it their point to walk large arcs around the powerful Force-wielder and not stray too far into his path. Those who weren't wearing helmets kept their faces pointed to the ground, as though they thought even making eye-contact would set him off into one of his wild temper tantrums.

He wasn't focused on the troopers or he was focused on Aurelia. Her small smile and freckles and her frame of white hair around her face was all he could think about. Her face pervaded every corner of his mind and he almost vibrated at the thought of having her in his arms again.

He breezed into the prison block, and glanced at the Stormtroopers that flanked the doorways. "Get out." He ordered, the modulator in his mask making his voice deep and threatening. He pulverized any sort of curiosity of his presence there with the Force, even though he knew that even if they had any inclination of deviance in his behavior they would keep it to themselves.

He moved to the only prison cell that was currently in use, noting only momentarily that his uncle wasn't being kept here and opened the door without touching it.

Ben's surprise was well hidden by his helmet as he regarded the figure that was tied to the debriefing chair of the prison cell. General Hux made muffled cries against his hat that he was gagged with, snot and tears making his face moist and sticky-looking. His eyes were wild and mad as he thrashed against his bindings.

"Where is Aurelia?" Ben asked, but didn't move to untie the general or undo his makeshift gag. Hux thrashed more violently in the chair, the air filling with sounds of his pathetic sobs.

Ben took a deep breath and crossed the room in one large stride. He leaned over the red-haired general, hovering a gloved hand just over his forehead. With the Force, he started sifting through collages of memories. He wasn't gentle, like he was with Aurelia, as he dug through his mind. Ben had a suspicious feeling that he wasn't going to like what he was going to find, but searched anyway, memories flashing quickly as he pulled them up. He finally found what he was looking for: Aurelia in the chair, blood on her chin, her blank eyes filled with tears. Hands on her chest, down her shirt. _Kylo Ren has murdered people, burned down villages, and watched planets be destroyed, but he was never a rapist. And that makes him twice the man that you are._

Anger snapped in Ben like lightning. Shapes warped, and tinged red. Ben's pulse quickened, his fury igniting like a forest fire. _He's not allowed to touch her like that._ With a violent burst, Ben entered the general's mind and with intricate gestures of his fingers, started conjuring the unimaginable, twisting the general's psyche in a million directions.

 _"_ _Like sculpting or painting, Sith sorcery is an ancient art." Snoke said slowly through the projected image. His fingers moved a tiny bit on his armrests. "Only few have mastered it and only with great discipline."_

 _"_ _I'm ready." Kylo Ren said, his helmet sitting in front of his knees as he looked up at the gigantic figure before him. He was mastering the old Sith practices of mind-control and telekinesis easily and quickly. He was sure he could master sorcery._

 _"_ _Unlike the brute force of overpowering someone's will, sorcery requires subtlety. Once that is mastered, the results are…insidious." Snoke sighed a little like he was extremely bored, a idiosyncrasy that Kylo Ren had learned to disregard. "Simply, you must enter their mind with the Dark Side, forcing yourself through any shield or barricade that they may have consciously or unconsciously put up." He paused. "Then, in the deepest parts of their being, you find their most primal fears, the ones saved for the darkest parts of the night…"_

 _"_ _Yes, master?" Kylo Ren urged, eager to hear about this new, intricate way of utilizing the Force._

 _"…_ _And you bring them to life." Snoke chuckled lowly to himself._

Ben plunged further and further into Hux's memories, his concentration solid as he got closer to his goal. He could see the sweat bead off of the general's head and the muscles in his neck contract, but Ben wasn't focused on that, his eyes were elsewhere, they were looking inward.

Finally, he found the nightmares that haunted Hux: hideous creatures and delusions that were never meant to see the light of day. Behind his mask, Ben smiled as his fingers wove intricate patterns in front of Hux's disbelieving eyes: the spells of Sith sorcery, and he brought the creatures to life one by one.

"What are you doing?"

* * *

 **Hey Squad, pop a squat because I'm going to talk a little about my favorite Force power evrawr: Sith FUCKING Sorcery. Okay, first off Sith Sorcery is basically old as shit. Old as the Sith itself. Unlike fucking fighting or emotional issues, Sith Sorcery only manifests itself in those who show fucking _talent_ for it. Like, the Dark Side literally goes Simon Cowell on your ass and if you can't chop it, then you don't get cool fucking powers like, yah know warping brains and creating blasts of FUCKING DARK SIDE ENERGY. Like bro, do you even Sith Magic? Anyway, It caused so much fear with the Jedi that they sought to destroy every tome and holocron that contained anything to DO with Sith Sorcery. It also caused fear in Sith brethren who discouraged each other from using it, because _hello_ possessing that much energy obvs could destroy anything that gets in their path. Naga Sadow was able to revitalize the use of Sith Magic and then was subsequently destroyed by her colleagues in the Dark Side. It wasn't until 4,000 years fucking LATER when Darth Bane rose to power and instated the Rule of Two that Sith Magic was used again by his apprentice Darth Zannah, whose special fucking talents were manifesting insanity in her enemies. (In the words of Deadpool: I would hate to be the one who pressures _her_ into prom sex). With that being said, Sith FUKCING Sorcery is the most bitchin' thing and I would write a whole chapter on it, but you guys need to get back to the story. **

**Also, I've seen a drastic drop in review numbers. Where has the love gone?**


	31. Chapter 31

Rey felt clunky and awkward in the large Stormtrooper armor as she gripped Aurelia's upperarm with one hand and a white blaster-rifle with another. She glanced Finn, her helmet bobbing and obstructing her view for a second before she shook it back into place. Finn looked at ease as he moved quickly on the other side of Aurelia, his hand gripping her other arm. Rey regarded how practiced and experienced Finn looked and tried to imagine his life as a Stormtrooper in a base like this or on a Star Destroyer ship.

"Halt." They froze in their tracks and Finn about-faced to the officer that ordered them to freeze. Rey did the same a half-second later, tugging Aurelia around so that she faced the opposite direction. Rey had to call on the Force to push the fear out of the pit of her belly. She wasn't sure what would happen if they were found out. It would put Ben in danger and the Republic pilots wouldn't be able to attack and they would all probably lose their lives. "Identify this prisoner." The short commander ordered, his arms clasped behind his back and his eyes piercing.

"Aurelia. Cell Block Three, sir." Finn clipped without hesitation. "The prisoner escaped. We are leading her to the maximum security block."

The officer eyeballed Aurelia. "She doesn't look like very much to escape our prison block."

"Maybe you should redesign your blocks then." Aurelia mumbled insolently, which caused the officer to smack her across the face out of anger. It kept all of Rey's resolution not to lash furiously at the officer for hitting Aurelia.

"Make sure you gag her." The officer ordered.

"Yes, sir." Finn said, the modulator making his voice sound almost robotic. Rey and Finn spun around and Aurelia did the same. They walked about ten feet before the officer stopped them again.

"I almost forgot," He said. "If you see General Hux, will you please have him report in on orders of the Supreme Leader."

"Yes, sir." Finn repeated and they turned back around and started hurrying towards the cell blocks. Once they had twisted around the corridor for what seemed like forever, they finally pulled themselves into a tiny outlet to regroup and calm their nerves. Finn pulled off his helmet and Rey did the same. "That was way too close." Finn said, sweat beading on his forehead.

"I agree." Rey nodded at her best friend and then turned to Aurelia. "And you!"

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You couldn't keep your mouth shut for five minutes?"

"Oh, come on." Aurelia's eyes rolled. "I'm just having a tiny bit of fun."

"Your 'fun' is going to get us found out." Rey retorted.

"Okay, okay." Aurelia held up her hands. "I apologize for jeopardizing the mission with my banter."

Finn and Rey replaced their helmets and started back down the hallways. _It should be coming up._ Rey felt in her head as Aurelia projected her thoughts with the Force. They lead themselves through a blast door, Aurelia unlocking it with a wave of her hand.

Rey looked around after pulling off her helmet, there were prison cells with large, doors made out of cortosis that lined three walls out of the large room. She was disturbed that Master Luke wasn't in this cell block. _Where was he?_ In the center sat a control port and a computer. Aurelia pointed at one of the doors to the left and she walked to it, opening it with the Force.

Rey followed quickly in case back up was needed and was surprised to see Ben, dressed now as Kylo Ren, bent over a man with bright red hair and wild eyes. However, there was something wrong. Something that made goosebumps raise on Rey's arms and set her teeth on edge.

"What are you doing?" Aurelia asked, disbelief ringing her voice high.

* * *

Aurelia could feel the Dark Side energy twist around in her stomach like it did the atmosphere of this room. She could feel Ben manipulating Hux's mind with the Force in a way that Aurelia had never felt before, in a way that she didn't know could be so horrible. It was insidious and horrid, and it was pushing Hux to the breaking point of insanity. She could see the illusions that Ben was creating, the nightmares that were coming to life by Ben's will. Hux cried out around his hat-gag, a wild moaning of anguish and tortured pain, like an animal being slaughtered.

"What are you doing?" The words flew out of her mouth automatically and she could feel the manipulation of the Force stop suddenly. She pressed inside Hux's head as soon as Ben was out, feeling the damage that had been done.

"Aurelia." Ben said, disbelief in his voice, even through the beastly voice modulator that he spoke through. "I…he…"

Aurelia brushed past Ben and placed both of her hands on Hux's temples. Luckily, it didn't seem that permanent damage was done to Hux's psyche. The most recent recollections of horrors and creatures that should only inhabit nightmares flying quickly as she looked through Hux's mind. She gathered the Force for healing and wiped his immediate memories and then gently lulled him to sleep, his head becoming heavy and slack in her hands.

"He touched you." The voice modulator said dark and robotically. "He almost violated you. He deserved-,"

Frustration snapped in Aurelia's chest. "No." She cut Ben off, tears stinging her eyes. She felt betrayed? No, worse. She felt like she had failed. "No one deserves to be tortured by the Force. It's not the way of the Light."

There was a snap and a hiss and then Aurelia felt a gloved hand on her arm. "I'm sorry, Aurelia. I saw that he touched you and it made me angrier than I had ever felt in my life." Ben's normal voice said as it cracked with tears. "I let the Dark Side amplify my anger and cloud my judgment. I'm sorry."

Aurelia let Hux's head drop out of her hands. "It's this planet." She concluded. "Can you feel it? It consumes the Light."

"I feel it."

 _You have to fight it, Ben._ She projected. _I know it's hard, but the Dark Side is going to try to warp your emotions again. You can't let it undo all the healing._

 _I know. I'm so sorry._ His thoughts bounced around her head and the deep icy fingers of the cold Dark Side that had been trying to get into the very core of her being was replaced by the warmth of the Light. She didn't have to suppress her empathetic connection with Ben anymore. She could let the Light Side shine through again. She grabbed his hand that was still laying on her arm and turned to him, digging her face into the breastplate of his armor.

 _I missed you._ She could feel his breath in her hair as his arms wrapped around her.

 _I missed you too. So, so much._

"I know you guys haven't seen each other in awhile," Finn started. Aurelia almost had forgotten that Finn and Rey were still here. "But the guy you put to sleep is the only person who can shut down the shields."

Aurelia unenthusiastically pulled away from Ben's embrace and turned back to Hux, with a small push from the Force, she woke him out of unconsciousness and then pulled his hat out of his mouth.

"What?" He said groggily. "What just happened?"

Aurelia snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Alright, Bantha-Face, here's the deal: you either willingly shut down the exterior shields or you willingly shut down the exterior shields at the end of a lightsaber."

"I will have every Stormtrooper within a five-click radius here at-,"

"Wrong answer." Ben said and Aurelia could feel the electricity in the air as he ignited his lightsaber with an audible _whoosh-whoosh-whoosh._

Hux made a noise of protest. "I'm too _important_ to die."

* * *

I love you fucking magnificent creatures. Thus far, I've had 15,5XX views, 3,1XX visitors, 52 favorites, 89 Story Alerts, and 61 reviews for this Admiral Ackbar shit-after-Taco-Tuesday-Night story. That's the most on any story I've written ever. The number of views exceeds the population of my town alone. I shed tears of maple syrup thinking about it. Okay, mushy stuff over. Again, I don't know how long this story is going to be. I'm at 50K words right now and I'm nowhere close to the end, so buckle up buttercup you're in for a ride on the Drama-Train to Actionville. Honk Honk.


	32. Chapter 32

Ben watched Aurelia as she held Hux's hand over the biometric reader of the computer port that sat in the middle of the prison block. He had missed the raw, radiating halo of Force energy around her. He had missed the wild pieces of wavy hair that would flop in front of her eyes. He had missed her dirty feet and her strong hands.

He had played out how their reunion would go in his head. He had thought there would've been joyous and blissful, but he could feel the hurt and betrayal in her thoughts and the slight edge in her voice.

And it was all his fault.

It was his fault for letting his resolve waver. It was his fault for letting the Dark Side in. He should've been more aware. He should've been more careful.

"Alright, the shields are down!" Finn whooped and high-fived Rey. "What's next, Boss-Man?"

Ben was snapped out of his reflection off-guard, glancing quickly at the faces that watched him expectantly. Using the Force to feel for life forms around him for a second, verifying that he was not going to be overheard by any unwanted ears, he pulled out the communicator that the Resistance gave him. "Blue Leader, this is Black Leader. Exterior shields are down. Prepare for diversion." He clipped into the speaker as he watched Aurelia wipe the general's mind before driving him into unconsciousness and laying him on the floor.

The elderly speaker crackled after a moment. "Copy Black Leader. Diversion will commence in ten minutes."

"Copy." Ben responded and put his communicator away in his cloak.

 _Come to me, child._ Snoke's voice drawled into Ben's mind. He bristled and shuddered involuntarily at his old master's voice inside of his head.

"Snoke." Aurelia growled lowly, her eyes flashing. She could feel Snoke's presence through their link in the Force.

 _Come to me._ There was a feeling of hunger that made Ben dizzy as he tried to fight through it. Ben knew this feeling of the Dark Side amplifying his weakness for power and knowledge, and he used the Force to defend himself from these volatile emotions. He couldn't fail Aurelia again.

"We need to find Master Luke." Rey said, caution in her voice. Ben could tell that Rey had sensed something in the Force, but she had not been trained enough yet to recognize who it was. "Do you know where he is?"

"I need to get back to the officers." Ben said, forcing himself out of Snoke's trance. "I'm next in command. Once the diversion starts, I need to be there to order the defense squadron to reroute and attack."

"Master Luke is being led to Snoke." Aurelia answered Rey's question. "I can feel their presences getting closer in the Force."

"We need to get to him!" Rey said, alarm in her voice.

Ben looked at all the faces around him, focusing last on Aurelia's blank eyes. He didn't want to separate from her, but at the same time: Rey was right. "Rey and Aurelia will go to find Luke." Ben said, trying to the emotion out of his words. "Finn and I will go to officers." Finn nodded in confirmation and Rey started stripping herself of the Stormtrooper armor.

Aurelia picked up Ben's helmet from the computer's surface where Ben had placed it, holding it in both of her hands. _Be safe._ She ordered through their telepathic link, her lips parting slightly. Ben could see her eyes start to swim with tears, and he touched her waist and pulled her close to his body, his helmet jammed between them. He tried to find the betrayal that tinged her thoughts moments ago, but all he found was concern and anticipating for the upcoming battle.

 _You too._ He used the Force to calm his anxiety over Aurelia confronting Snoke, and touched her with calming powers to lessen her worry and increase her confidence. It was all they had now. It was all that they could count on. Confidence and the Light Side.

"Ready." Rey stated once she had rearranged her Padawan robes that had gotten twisted and wrinkled in the armor.

Ben touched his forehead to Aurelia's for a second and picked up his helmet at the same time. "Let's complete this thing."

* * *

General Organa forced herself to inhale slowly and exhale as she watched a group of blue dots make their way slowly towards the projection of the planet Byss. Each dot represented one of the X-Wing Fighters. They travelled cautiously and kept their distance, waiting fervently for Ben's signal that the shields were disabled.

 _Why was this taking so long?_

The tension in the air was so thick, she could cut it with a vibroblade. Tension regarding the mission. Tension around the fact that none of the soldiers had checked in since arriving on Byss. Tension around the fact that Luke Skywalker, the last known Jedi Master was in the vicinity of the most powerful Dark Side-wielder yet. Tension around the fact that if the kids were caught, they would put the whole Resistance movement in jeopardy.

Then there was the tension regarding the fact that this still might've been a trick played by her son. That he might've fooled them. Fooled them, like he did with Han. Leia's eyes slid shut and tried to keep her breathing slow and even. She hoped with all of her being that, that wasn't the case. _But there's no more Darkness in him._

 _But there is Darkness on that godforsaken planet._

Honnix made a noise that caused Leia to open her eyes and look at him. He shook his head, sweat beading on his brow as he leaned over the railing of the HoloReader. "They have been silent for far too long." He slammed his fists on the surface of the Holo, causing the image of the planet to shudder slightly.

There was a crackle of a com signal.

 _Blue Leader, this is Black Leader. Exterior shields are down. Prepare for diversion._ Leia heard her son say through the old communication devices. Any doubt flew out the window and sheer pride and hope made Leia's head spin. This was her _son._ He was going to destroy the _First Order._

 _Copy Black Leader. Diversion will commence in ten minutes._

Cheer erupted from crowd that had formed around the HoloReader.

Cheer for her Ben. Cheer for her _son._

* * *

Sorry my Fanfic Felines for not posting yesterday, I unfortunately had to socialize at a party thrown for my boyfriend. Now, stifle your surprise that one individual of eccentricities beyond imagination like moi would have a significant other. But, alas I do. And alas, he turned 23 yesterday. It was a pleasant party and became far more pleasant-er when I had about five glasses of Moscato in me. Say happy birthday in the reviews and I'll try to get another chapter posted tonight. First though I am going to float in my pool whilst devouring leftover birthday cake out of my left hand. Good day.


	33. Chapter 33

Rey watched in awe as Aurelia transform from the unsteady, blind girl to a beacon of confidence and Force power. Rey had discussed this with Master Luke once when she was still learning the scope of the Force and all it was capable of. He had mentioned something about Force Sight along with the other ways the Force could be used to enhance physical senses.

They ran full speed through the maze of corridors only slowing enough to turn corners. It took all of Rey's limited abilities to keep up with Aurelia who was increasingly turning into a streak of brown peasant clothes and white hair. Every once in awhile Rey would catch a _crash!_ of a soldier or Stormtrooper being forced unconscious by Aurelia.

" _Force Sight was used by the Miraluka species who were born without eyes." Luke said as he stuffed some meat into his mouth as he sat across her underneath the warm sun of their ocean planet. This was the first time that Rey had seen him eat in days, as he spent most of his time meditating or training with her. "It's an amazing ability that they were able to teach only to those who were able to train themselves to not rely on their physical sense of vision and instead trust the Force to "see" for them."_

 _"_ _What can one see with the Force?" Rey asked, her knees tucked underneath as she listened to her master._

 _"_ _Everything." Luke answered, awe in his voice. "The Force can see everything."_

Rey almost collided with the back of Aurelia, who had stopped her run. Unlike Rey, who had almost doubled-over to catch her breath after sprinting after Aurelia for so long, Aurelia seemed unaffected by the physical exertion. Her empty eyes narrowed a little. "He's trying to skew his presence in the Force." The slight joking undertones to Aurelia's voice was gone. "He's trying to throw off my trail."

"What are we going to do?" Rey panted.

"Hold my hand." Rey did as she was told and clasped hands with the pale girl. She watched Aurelia's eyes close and she started breathing slowly. Rey could feel the power of the Force around her increase, the air charging with electricity almost. "Close your eyes, enter the Force."

Rey did as she was told, keeping her breathing even with Aurelia's. Her jaw dropped as she became hyperaware of her surroundings, humming with energy. Like fingers, the sense probed outwards past doors and walls. She became aware of every life-form in the base. She could feel Ben's familiar presence and Finn's as they made their way to the control center. They're bodies became real, like she was standing right there next to them. She could feel Master's Luke's presence and could even see the aura of Light that shone around him. She could see glimpses into their futures, like looking at photograph stills. Then there was a like a black hole of Darkness that seemed to eviscerate the Light around it. It was menacing and cruel, yet seductive and alluring. It promised things that Rey knew were lies, but were drawn to anyway and it was alarmingly growing with time.

"Snoke." Aurelia said, cutting off the vision. Rey was dropped back into reality at such a dizzying speed, she had to call on the Force to calm her senses.

"What was that?"

"Force Sight." Aurelia said and opened a blast door with a loud _whoosh._ "I needed your help finding Luke Skywalker. His presence is unfamiliar to me." The Stormtroopers that guarded the doors fell to the ground with a crash, however Aurelia didn't flinch or move at the loud sound.

"We found him though?" Rey said, with almost a question in her voice. She was still comprehending the vast power she had just gotten to witness.

"Yes. Unfortunately, I've been there before."

* * *

Finn's strides had fallen in synch with Ben as he walked a half-meter behind him to the control panel of the room. As Ben listened to Finn's steps he thought about his strict, militaristic training and his automatic fondness for uniformity. _Old habits die hard, I guess._ Ben thought to himself as he moved swiftly through the base, letting the Force guide him to the group of officers that sat at the helm.

"Kylo Ren." He was greeted lowly by a lieutenant who was sweating over a sleek, modern looking HoloProjector of Byss. Other officers were talking lowly with department heads or watching the multi-dimensional image of the ships make their way in formation around the edge of the planet. "We seem to have an attack on the north side by a Republic fleet."

Ben squared his shoulders and and widened his feet into a parade rest, and clasped his gloved hands behind his back. He sensed Finn fall into line with the other Stormtroopers that lined the walls, their rifles pointed downwards. "It seems they have come to rescue Luke Skywalker." He said through his voice modulator.

The officer glanced at the Force-wielder for a second and straightened up. "Orders, sir?"

"Order the defense line around the planet to readjust their routes and attack the fleet." Ben said smoothly.

"Wouldn't that leave our flanks open for an attack in the opposite direction?"

"Are you questioning my strategy?" Ben let his voice raise slightly and the lieutenant backed off, fear in his eyes as he started communicating to the captains of the Defense fleet. "Most of their pilots were destroyed during the Starkiller conflict." Ben explained after he watched the officer do what he commanded. His voice was low and dangerous through his mask. "I doubt that they would be able to attack with their meager numbers."

"Yes, sir." The officer answered and Ben twisted around, letting his cloak flourish out a little. _Gotta keep the show up._ He stopped just at the door of the helm and turned back around.

"If you suspect you have any problems taking care of a few Resistance pilots, Lieutenant, summon me and I'll make sure the job gets done." Ben let his insult sink into the officer, his eyes flashing in anger and then intimidation before turning back around.

 _Now time to get to Snoke._


	34. Chapter 34

Aurelia blew the door open as she stepped through it, the mechanics protesting with a whine. The usual coldness that permeated the air of the room didn't affect her now, as she was encased by the Light Side, her powers gathering as her adrenaline pumped and her confidence soared. She blasted past the shield of Darkness that surrounded the room, becoming aware with every surface and speck she could touch. The room was simple and metal and didn't have any furniture, save a throne that sat in the middle. She felt the archaic fire sconces that lit the room blaze bright at her presence as she pulsed with raw Force energy.

However, Luke Skywalker was nowhere to be found.

"Very impressive," Snoke said slowly as he chuckled to himself. "Your scope of power is very impressive, especially with one so untrained."

Aurelia paced back and forth in front of the throne. "It's time to end you, Snoke. It's time that the Light prevails once again."

"The Light will never prevail." He started lowly, his voice emotionless. "Join me now while you have the chance. Join for the glorious victory of the First Order."

"Where's Master Luke?" Rey yelled, a note of desperation in her voice.

"Luke Skywalker is not here." Snoke answered with a wave of his finger and a shrug. "I'm keeping him placated elsewhere."

Aurelia's stomach fell a little as she realized that Snoke tricked them. He tricked them into thinking Luke Skywalker's presence was in this room. _He duplicated a presence in the Force._ A very powerful one too. It was a mind trick. An illusion. Anger snapped in her core and she started to gather the Force in the pit of her being.

"Now, now child." Snoke said, piercing through her Force shield. She shoved him out, and threw up one even stronger. "We can't have you destroying my citadel." Aurelia foresaw the attack on Rey a second before it happened and threw out a blast of energy to deflect it. A concussive blast of the Force that was strong enough to break every bone in Rey's body if Aurelia didn't intercept.

Rey was knocked back and stunned a little, but she wasn't harmed, to Aurelia's relief. She could feel the frustration building in Snoke, but she couldn't access his thoughts yet. _That's right. I am capable of tricking too._

"So it may seem." Snoke mused lowly.

Aurelia felt her joints and muscles lock into place in a Force hold, a chill running down the length of her spine. She channeled her own power, and broke the hold and widened her stance into a defensive position. "And this is the all-powerful Snoke." She taunted through clenched teeth as she readied the Force. "Who can't even control a blind girl." She blasted a wave of energy not unlike the one he threw at Rey. It was a blast powerful enough to snap spines, and Snoke would have been killed if he didn't deflect it with his own Force shield. Aurelia felt the ground shake beneath her and she could feel the walls start to crack from the pressure of the blast.

The door protested at being opened against its will again and Aurelia could feel Finn and Ben's presence behind her. Aurelia felt Ben and Finn's helmets bounce on the ground.

"Kylo Ren," Snoke said acknowledged, unaffected by Aurelia's attack. "It seems you have found yourself blinded by the Light."

"No," Ben argued. "The Light has shone me the right path."

Aurelia could feel the rage burning inside of Snoke like a wildfire catching in the wind. She could feel him channeling it as he gripped his armrests hard with his long fingers.

"The right path is with the First Order, with the Dark Side" Snoke said, venom in his voice. "With the Resistance you will only find death."

"The Light will win." Ben said again, his own powers stirring inside of him. "You are on the losing team."

Aurelia foresaw the blast, however she didn't see Snoke change the direction at the very last second, targeting her. But, this wasn't a blast of energy, this was a charge. Aurelia felt Snoke break through every shield she had prepared and launch himself violently into her mind. Like being socked in the gut, Aurelia felt the wind rush out of her at the sudden assault and she fell to her knees. Once he found what he was looking for, he dragged it to the surface of Aurelia's consciousness. _Ben's pain._

Like a tidal wave in a thunderstorm, Aurelia was vehemently sucked into the waves of Ben's pain. It had taken her a long time and a lot of power to numb herself against the agony that she had taken on, but Snoke had broken through every barrier and she felt it burn her all over her skin and lock-up her limbs. Only ever so slightly did she feel her cheek hit the floor of the citadel as she fought to keep herself from drowning underneath the smothering immensity.

Fighting through the heavy veil that surrounded her and her clenched teeth, she managed to find her link to Ben and projected a thought to him before blacking out.

 _I don't regret anything._

* * *

Hey Star Wars Superstars, sorry for the delay in update. You can scream TRAITOR at me in the reviews. But, I am having the toughest time writing out the next scenes. They need to be action-y and descriptive and magical and emotional and goddamnit I am not a fucking magician. It's hard too, because my first impulsive is just to gorily massacre everyone. GIVE ME LIGHT SIDE OR GIVE ME DEAAATH. So I may not be able to update ****AS**** regularly as you are used to. But fear not, as the material I will provide will make you splooge all over your computer/phone screen. Anyway, while I struggle with providing you words to consume with your eyes, I will also be stroking this girl's curly, wild hair who sits in front of me in British Literature class. So far, I have made it 17 days without her realizing I have been doing it. I even managed to launch a Flaming Hot Cheetoh in it. My next goal is to get a whole hard shell Taco Bell taco in there. Wish me luck.


	35. Chapter 35

Ben watched in horror as Aurelia fell to the ground. He could feel the pain radiate off of her, eating the Light. She heaved like she was being choked, her rib-cage expanding and detracting quickly as she fought for air. Her fists clenched hard before they relaxed, Aurelia finally blacking out.

 _I don't regret anything._ Her soft voice fought into Ben's thoughts and the delicate words caused a shiver to run down his spine.

Rage snapped in Ben like a bone in a limb. Everything was tinged with a crimson halo. Ben felt the hilt of his lightsaber hit the palm of his hand, and its blades ignited, one right after the other. His kept his eyes trained on Snoke, who hadn't moved from the throne in the middle of the room.

 _Let the rage flow through you, Kylo Ren._ Snoke's voice pervaded his thoughts. Ben flourished his lightsaber, the red blade arcing in through his field of vision. _Let it amplify your powers._ Ben saw his old master rise to his feet. He had a hunch of ancientness in his back that kept his shoulders curled over and his knees bent at an odd angle. This scars in his face twisted with his expression. _Let the Dark Side in._

A wave of hunger passed over Ben. Hunger and greed and lust for power. A furnace of anger burned low in his belly. He wanted to overtake Snoke, make him suffer for hurting Aurelia, and _kill him._

Ben advanced, his surroundings becoming a blur as struck out at Snoke. With a blast of Force energy, Ben was thrown back. He tumbled, his world turning upside-down before he willed the Force to guide his long body into a backwards summersault and he stood back on his feet.

 _Yes, let it in._

Gathering the Force, Ben let it guide his senses and let years of repetitive blade practice guide his hands as he struck again. This time he was able to foresee the Snoke's attack and absorb it, letting it overcharge his own powers. _I will be stronger than you this time, Snoke._ He felt the Force churn inside of him. It pulsed with chaotic energy, getting stronger with every passing second.

 _The Light Side won't win, Kylo Ren._ Snoke's voice bounced in his head. _You will become more powerful than you ever imagine if you would stop resisting the Dark Side!_

Ben inhaled sharply and felt out with the Force. He could sense Snoke's own energy gathering. _The Darkness will be defeated._ He projected and lunged again, his red blade swinging wide. Snoke teleported himself across the room, dodging the attack. Frustration rose in Ben's chest.

 _The Darkness is inside of you. Feel it, Kylo Ren. It calls to you._

 _No. Aurelia healed me._ Ben attacked again and watched the hunch figure vaporize and reappear ten feet away.

 _The girl fooled you with her own powers._ Snoke growled lowly. _The Dark Side has always been there. Rage. Hate. It has never left you._

Ben stopped in the tracks of his next attack, his boots skidding to a stop on the floor. A large quake made the citadel rock back and forth and Ben gritted his teeth and fought to keep himself upright. He looked down at the lightsaber in his right hand. The unsteady crossguard blades rippled violently and seared hot against Ben's black gloves. Was it all a trick? Was it all just an illusion? Aurelia trying to distract him? But, why? Why would she do that?

 _To control you, Kylo Ren. She wanted you to herself._

 _But, she loves me._ Ben argued, his resolve wavering.

 _No!_ He shouted. _She tricked you. It's an illusion. Love. Healing. It's all an illusion. Finite human fallacy. The Dark Side, the Dark Side is eternal._

 _The Dark Side is sovereign._

* * *

Rey cradled Aurelia's limp body on the rocky floor, trying to Force Heal with her untrained powers. _Come on, Aurelia. Let me in._ Rey clenched her teeth, the Force flowing through her hands into the head of her new friend. Aurelia's shields, even unconscious, were mighty and impenetrable though.

"Ben!" Finn called from Rey's side. He was still donned in his Stormtrooper armor, but his helmet was off and Rey could see the sweat bead off of his forehead. There was charge in the atmosphere as Ben and Snoke fought, the dynamism flowing back and forth between them as they readied powerful attacks.

Rey looked up from her work on Aurelia and saw Ben streak towards Snoke in a blur of black and red. That's what this fight had been: blurs of black figures and a red blade. They were an infernal storm of power, a vortex of energy. Rey couldn't distinguish where Ben ended and Snoke began, until Ben stopped.

There was a look of confusion on his face as he fell out of a defensive stand, his dark eyes wild as his curly hair. Sweat dripped from his face as his lips parted. A twisted grin split Snoke's worn, ugly face in half. Rey's stomach dropped. He was getting at him. The Dark Side was manipulating him.

"Get them." Snoke growled lowly and Ben's eyes snapped to Rey. Rey jumped up, her lightsaber igniting in her hand. His eyes narrowed and in a blink, a crimson light blinded Rey as Ben advanced on her. It was the Force that guided her hands up, the two blades crashing together in spark and sound.

Ben's expression was dark and there was a crazed look in his eyes that reminded Rey of the battle she had with him on Starkiller Base. She parried automatically, letting her teachings by Master Luke guide her blades as she deflected Ben's quick attacks. She let the Force flow through her, letting its power in as she tried to probe Ben's mind. Foreseeing Ben's move a split second before it happened, Rey was able to counterattack with a crash of her blue blade against his three-pronged red one, he stumbled back. "Don't do this! This isn't who you are anymore!" Rey managed before he regained his footing and charged again, the robes of his armor streaking behind him.

"I was deceived!" He spat back, their blades crashing together as Rey nearly missed a strike that would've cut her leg at the knee. "I can't be healed of the Dark Side!"

"Yes you can!" Rey argued, pushing in closer despite Ben's superior strength. She looked into his wild eyes. They darted back and forth and his teeth gritted against force of Rey's push. "Look at Aurelia! Look at what she's done for you!"

Ben shoved Rey back with his lightsaber, and she almost tumbled against the side of the citadel if she didn't let the Force keep her on her feet. "She manipulated me!"

"No! Snoke is manipulating you. Realize the truth, Ben! Aurelia has done so much to help you because she loves you." Ben stopped attacking, his face twisting with a million emotions. Rey dropped her lightsaber and seized the opportunity to talk some sense into the man. "She wouldn't be on the floor unconscious right now if she didn't love you. Don't be Snoke's puppet!"

"Don't listen to her lies." Snoke called from the other side of the room. "Destroy her."

Ben's eyes flashed to Aurelia on the floor and then to Snoke. "It's too late."

"No it's not."

* * *

Hey, cuz. So action is really hard to write, apparently and I'm also super lame for waiting this long to update. It's okay, I hate myself too. I hope you enjoy this and I will try to crank out the next chapters as quick as a chihuahua is to dry-humping a stranger's leg. Thanks.


	36. Chapter 36

_Beep-boop-beep._

"I don't know Beebee-ate." Poe sighed as he watched the purple planet of Byss slowly make it turn. His squad of X-Wing fighters floated in idle just in the atmosphere of the planet, waiting for the signal that the defensive line of the First Order had been rerouted so they could attack the main bases. He sighed again and placed his hands behind his head and tried to lean back as far as he could in the small cockpit.

 _Boop-beep._

BB-8, the little astromech droid was getting apprehensive and Poe guessed he had cause. This was taking a lot longer than they had hoped. The longer it took, the better chance that they were going to get found out on the First Order's radars.

He thought back to his fleet on Onderon arguing about Ben's alliance and sighed again, a knot forming in his stomach. He had been so sure that Ben was now on their side. What if it was just a trick? Just a ploy to lead all of them to slaughter? To crush the Resistance in one fell swoop with some encouraging words and deceit? Poe slammed his fist on his control panel. No. He was sure, _positive,_ that Ben had changed. He was the son of the General, for crying out loud. _Son of Han Solo._

If he was wrong, he wouldn't live long enough to find out.

Poe gulped and turned on his communication. "Steady, squad." He ordered. Everyone was becoming antsy. They were hungry for action. Hungry for victory…

And apprehensive, like BB-8.

There was a crackle of the com coming to life. "F.O. Defensive Line has been rerouted. Attack at will." General Organa said into the speaker of the shaky com.

There was whooping and some cheering of the squads, including their leader. "See, Beebee-ate. Everything's fine." Poe said to his droid as he started the powering sequence of his ship. "Squad, prepare for advance." He started barking into his mic. "I want you to give it everything you got."

 _Thanks, Ben._

* * *

 ** _You thought I was gone! Nope! Just...procrastinating. And masturbating. furiously. Procrasturbating? Anyway, I'm back bitches and I'm going to finish this thing!_**


	37. Chapter 37

Ben dropped his lightsaber and it powered itself off when it hit the ground with a _whoosh_. He was dizzy, a million thoughts that he was unsure was his own anymore flying through his head at blinding speeds. Emotion made his stomach ache. He was caught the gray between the Light and the Dark.

He looked at Aurelia as she laid unconscious on the floor, her eyes were closed and her hair a wild, white halo around her head. _She healed me. There was healing. The pain. She took it from me._

 _You are a failure._

 _Disgrace._

 _Murderer._

He placed both hands on his temples as pain shot through the back of his head. The familiar words bounced in his mind, the same words that kept the heat in his chest and his teeth clenched. But there was something different about them. They weren't his voice, like they usually were. They were someone else's voice.

 _They were Snoke's voice._

His eyes snapped open as the dawn of realization superseded all of Snoke's tricks. He _wasn't_ Snoke's puppet. The Light Side of the Force shone a light on all the lies and illusions Snoke was trying to force down Ben's throat. He was just controlling him. Manipulating him. Using him from his will. There wasn't anymore Dark Side because Ben stepped out of the abyss before it was too late, lead by the hand of Aurelia. Lead by the love of Aurelia.

"It's not too late, Ben." Rey called. She dropped out of a defensive stance and lowered her lightsaber. "You don't have to be this person anymore."

"I know." Ben whispered, tears in his eyes.

A hard rumble of the citadel sent everyone tumbling onto their backsides. Ben's teeth rattled in his head, as he rode out the ground quake. A large jolt in the Force made his head snap to the side. A powerful vision a split second into the future caused him to gasp at the intensity. He couldn't comprehend it, so he just acted.

And then it was like time slowed down.

His powered-off lightsaber was brought up into the air and turned on, the red blades shooting out of the hilt at a speed that couldn't have been grasped without the aid of the Force. He watched, a weight dropping in his chest as the blade was turned 45 degrees and aimed at Rey. With the Force guiding his steps, Ben moved quickly as it was hurled across the room at Rey.

And just in time, he managed to intercept it, Aurelia's words running through his head as the bright red light was the last thing he saw before his world started going dark.

 _I don't regret anything._

* * *

"General Organa!"

A ripple in the Force sucked the air out of the General and kicked her knees out from underneath her. She fell back hard against the concrete floor of the control-room of the Onderon base. There was tear, like a limb being pulled from a body, a severing that Leia had never felt before. It caused tears to spring from her eyes as she realized which presence it was that was being ripped from her, which link was being broken.

"Ben!" She cried and rolled onto her side. The emptiness threatened to overtake her, like a gigantic creature on the brink of eating her whole. How much grief is one person capable of?

"What's wrong, General?" Her faithful assistant had lowered herself next to the General and had placed a hand on her shoulder.

"They killed him." Leia said in agony as she groped around in vain. She wanted to hold him. _She didn't even get to say goodbye._ "They killed my son."

There were so many unspoken words. So many _'I love you'_ s that were left unsaid. She regretted everything she didn't do and everything she done. She shouldn't have sent him off to go train with Luke. She should've kept him close to her, so that everyday she could look into his dark brown eyes and tell him how much he meant to her, how proud she was of him. She was never going to be able to hold him again. Never be able to embrace him. _He was her son and now he was dead._

"General?"

It was like the cloud that she had kept at bay, the darkness that she kept controlled through years of façade and lies was finally drowning her. The waves of grief choked her out, making her unable to speak.

 _I'm so sorry._

* * *

 _ehhhhhhhhh..._


	38. Chapter 38

_"_ _Sarai, look at her. It's her only chance at survival."_

 _"_ _She's only a child, Vic. What is she going to do?"_

 _Aurelia could hear voice around her, she could smell the antiseptic of the sheets she was laying on. She could feel her face with her fingertips, and she could taste her own cracked lips, but when she opened her eyes, she was surrounded by darkness and pain. She had laid there, trying to figure out why she was swimming in a fog of darkness._

 _"_ _Why can't I see?" She whispered to herself. She was not scared. She was beyond the point of being scared, she thought. The Shivers shook the fear out of her as she approached death numerous times. She wasn't scared. No. She was confused._

 _She tried focusing her eyes, feeling the muscles behind them ache as she repeated the movement over and over again, but it was like she was forever lost in space. Forever doomed to the dark._

Don't see, feel. _A voice that was sweet like syrup, but powerful and intimidating at the same time whispered to her, but it was a whisper that also felt like a shout. The words radiating around her head like a supernova threatening to overtake neighboring planets._

 _"_ _It hurts." She answered, groping around on the cot she laid on. She tried to sit up, but the wave of pain that the Shivers gave her felt like her whole body was on fire._

Use the Force. _The voice said again._

 _Use the Force._

 _Use the Force._

There was an electric shock that sent a pulse down Aurelia's spine, it revived every fiber of her being and it felt like every inch of her skin was alive. Sentient, like it could see and hear and feel too. Her eyes snapped opened, the Force granting her a vision that she didn't even know she was capable of, and came to just in time to see Ben collapse onto the floor of the citadel, his own lightsaber in his chest.

 _Use the Force._

Like being caught in a storm, Aurelia felt turbulent and wild. She slowly rose off of the floor. There was no unsteadiness or hesitation. She was going to use the Force.

She was going to end this.

Another quake caused the world around her to convulse, the floor crumbling beneath her feet, the wall collapsing and sliding down the mountain the citadel was built into. Aurelia could feel every vibration of the mountain beneath, the X-Wings in the sky above her, making their attack twenty clicks away, she could hear every fast heartbeat ring in her ears.

She could taste the fear in Finn. Feel the tears in Rey's eyes.

Aurelia regarded Rey for a millisecond, her brown robes staining red as she laid over Ben, keeping him secure as they rode out of the quake. She turned back to the floor that was crumbling away and stepped off the edge, letting the Force lift her, trusting that it wouldn't drop her.

 _Use the Force._

Snoke was doing the same, levitating three meters off the ground as he tried to escape down the side of the mountain to the rocky canyon below.

Aurelia gathered the Force in her chest, a hurricane of power forming inside of her and sent a blast of energy towards Snoke. He turned and evaded it - but only barely – breaking his concentration and sending him tumbling down the mountain.

 _Use the Force._ The voice that she knew, that she trusted as it guided her around the rock she crashed on so long ago spoke again. The same sweet melody, like a thousand different songs all playing in harmony ran through and around her, picking up her hair and her feet and the power in her chest.

"I will." She smiled as she readied another attack.

* * *

"Ben, don't leave us, please." Rey cradled Ben's head in her lap, one hand covering the wound in his chest. She had always prided herself on being tough and resilient, quick to learn and adapt. Being stranded on one of the deadliest planets in the galaxy, she had to be. What she didn't realize was how little she knew about life and death. How in someone's last moments, life leaves their lungs first and their eyes last. The many faces of different, unspoken emotions. The pain of regret and pleading and grief of watching it unfold. The stab of of a friendship that burned out too quickly, like a candle blown out. "Please, Ben." She pleaded, tears making her vision foggy as she watched him struggle to hang on.

"I'm sorry." He said, gasping up blood along with his words. "For everything."

"No, Ben." Rey pleaded, as she tried to use her limited healing abilities on the wound. "Please. Don't do this. Stay with us."

A small smile crossed face and Rey watched the life slowly fade from Ben's big brown eyes. "I can see the light. I can finally see the light" He breathed, his body relaxing as death overtook him.

"No. No. No!" Rey said, grief and tears choking her out. She was so sorry. So, so sorry. The anger and distrust and fighting seemed so foolish to her now. Ben sacrificed himself to save her. He died to protect her. Master Luke was wrong. He had come back to the Light. Pure selflessness. That was the way of the Light. He had made it back only to die. She sobbed with his head in her lap, his empty brown eyes staring at her.

"Rey, watch out!" Finn called from the ruined edge of the citadel.

She looked up and right before it hit her in the face, she saw the brown rock of the mountain flying towards her. It clipped her across the forehead and she went down with it on impact, her world darkening for a second.

She sat up, calling on the Force to stop the vision in her spinning and moved over where Finn was, gently lifting Ben's head off of her lap. "What's going on?"

Finn pointed. Down the mountain, at the base of a canyon was Aurelia, a vortex of wind and energy swirling around her, whipping her white hair back and forth, making her glow from the inside out. Across the opening of the canyon was Snoke, a similar storm of dark energy swirling around him. It crackled with blue lightening and vicious power.

The sky was starting to churn dark purple clouds, a rumble of thunder made the canyon almost shake. Rey could taste the Force electrify the air. It was inconceivable how much power flowed. The Light and the Dark, at odds with each other through Aurelia and Snoke.

"I underestimated you." Snoke laughed, his voice echoing off the canyon walls. "You are not as weak as I thought." The air around him moved quicker as he stepped to attack.

Aurelia matched his movements and they collided in a thunderclap of energy and fire. They moved faster than what Rey could comprehend, only blurs of light and sound.

"What should we do?" Finn asked to himself. Rey could see the bursts of light from the fight below in his large brown eyes.

Rey looked back at Ben's body on the floor. "We need to find Master Luke." She answered.


	39. Chapter 39

_"_ _You're going to be okay." Her mother breathed into her hair. Aurelia didn't respond. There was no use. She tried asking what was going on, but her mother just kept mumbling the same words over and over. "You're going to be okay."_

 _She was placed in a seat and there was a snapping of buckles across her chest. "Momma?" Her voice sounded creaky and unnatural in her mouth. "Momma, I can't see."_

 _"_ _I know, sweetheart." There was a crack in her mother's voice. "I know."_

 _That was hours ago, though._

 _There was a thud and Aurelia gritted her teeth in anticipation for impact. She gripped the sides of the pod and rode out the crash. She waited until the ship stopped bouncing and vibrating and squealed to a stop before undoing the buckles and pushing open the door._

 _She stepped out, her bare foot feeling around hesitantly for solid ground. She slowly lowered herself out onto what felt like grass. "Momma?" She called, the breeze blowing her hair into her face. "Where am I?"_

Use the Force.

Aurelia gathered the Force again, like taming a wild animal it took coaxing and patience to gather it all back up before striking. But Aurelia knew wild. She knew how untamed the Force could be and it wasn't so much a game of overpowering it, but to let it flow through her as its vessel. A burst of concussive energy sent Snoke flying against the side of the canyon with a loud _crack!_ of the slate rock.

They flew around each other, the eye of a storm. She guided another blast, this time at the rocks above Snoke's head, dislodging a cliff and sending it tumbling down to the canyon floor below. Snoke maneuvered out of the way just in time. "This hate that flows through you," He started as the Dark Side flew around him in a chaotic symphony. "You can turn it into something greater!"

Aurelia let the song of the Force pick up large boulders and stones that had been extricated from the canyon and hurled them at Snoke. They sang their songs, strong and resilient as they guided their way towards Snoke. "I don't have hate." She responded lowly. "I just have the Force."

Snoke caught the rocks midair and let them drop into the canyon they fought over. "No hate over killing Kylo Ren? Your love? No hate for shoving his own lightsaber into his chest?"

Aurelia could feel the body that laid still and lifeless on the citadel floor. She could feel his skin cooling, the blood drying on his open lips, his eyelashes waving slightly in the breeze. In the Force she could see the lightsaber pierce his chest as he dove in front of Rey to save her.

But did she feel hate? She should've. She should've felt rage, anger, hatred towards the monster that killed the only person that knew _her._ The person she was tied to. The person she swore to protect and love until her dying breath.

But she didn't feel hate.

She felt the Force.

"Enough." She said, feeling the glow of energy through her as she gathered the Force again. "It's time to end this."

* * *

 _"_ _Daddy!" Ben started from his bunk on the Millennium Falcon, the unfamiliar sheets scratching at his skin as he watched shadows dance across the floor. The roaring of the engines in front of him caught his panicked cries and drowned them out. "Daddy!"_

 _"_ _Hey, hey. I'm right here." A moving shadow that made Ben's stomach flip out of fear turned into the form of his dad. Even in the dark he could see the twinkling in his eyes and he was hoisted from the corner of his bunk onto his father's lap. "What's wrong?"_

 _Ben willed his heart to slow down as he clutched the lapel of his dad's jacket, smelling the old leather and jet fuel on him. "Nightmare." He shivered. "Monsters."_

 _Han gripped his small son, pulling him close to his chest. "You don't have to worry about monsters." He breathed in his son's curly hair, feeling him relax in his arms. "Not while I'm around."_

 _"_ _You promise?" Ben asked, feeling a smile against his head._

 _"_ _Everyday."_

Ben woke up shivering and gasping for air. It was like he was a boy again in the bath, challenging himself to hold his breath. He watched the world above him through the hazy filter of the water, counting and waiting, feeling his lungs struggle with the lack of oxygen until it felt like he was going to burst. Then he would push himself up and out into the cold air, feeling his heart bang against his chest as he caught his breath.

But this wasn't the bath. And he wasn't a boy.

He looked around at his surroundings. It was like he was standing on a desert, but the desert sand shined colors underneath the light, like a million iridescent jewels. But it wasn't sand. It wasn't jewels. It was its own substance that seemed to singing with the colors a song like no other.

Panic made his pulse jump as memories came back to him. _Aurelia. Rey. Snoke. The lightsaber. The vision._ Everything had moved so slowly in time with his own heartbeat, yet so fast he couldn't comprehend what was happening. His muscles just moved against their will.

His hands moved to his forehead as he pieced everything together. "I'm dead." He gasped, finally realizing what had happened.

"A little odd, huh?"

Ben whipped around at the voice. A man with light gray hair and a crooked smile stood ten paces away from where Ben stood. Ben recognized him instantly. A mix of emotions dropped in Ben's stomach and strangled a sound of disbelief out of him. "Dad?" He breathed, unwilling to accept that this was his father. Tears made his vision blurry. "Is it really you?"

Han nodded, his eyes pitching to the floor. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Ben's knees gave out and he dropped to the glowing sand. A million words unspoken. A million regrets he felt. A million nights filled the screams from nightmares where he could only see the betrayal in his father's eyes when he closed his own. A million times he told himself he was a murderer. A million seconds where the pain in his chest was too much to bear. Ben had a million things to say, but he was only able to choke out three as tears streamed down his face and hit the sand in front him: "I'm so sorry." He raked his face with the back of his hand. "I was so wrong."

Han crossed the small space between them and dropped to his own knees. "I know." He said as he pulled Ben into him. "I know."

"It's really you." Ben buried his face into his dad's shoulder, breathing in the leather. There were so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn't get the words out. He just felt himself sobbing, embraced with his father.

 _I was a monster to you._

 _And all you wanted to do was save me from myself._

"You're not a monster, Ben." Han said after a second. "You were lost. You needed help and I wasn't there." Han's voice hitched. "And now you're dead. I'm sorry, son."

 _I'm sorry too._

* * *

 **Is it coincidence that the day after I post a chapter to the Bantha-sized pile of shit fic that I've left for months that Disney releases the subtitle to the new Star Wars installation? Most likely. Will I still check my entertainment system for Mickey-shaped hidden cameras? You betcha, you beautiful motherfucker. Tell me other areas of my condo I should check for hidden cameras in the reviews.**


	40. Chapter 40

_Aurelia followed the voice. It called to her softly, always catching in the breeze and changing directions. She followed it, feeling the grass between her toes and her hair dancing in the wind. She held out her hands to make sure that she didn't run into anything, and taking her steps carefully, but she followed as the voice led her on._

 _The voice started moving faster and she had to start running to keep up. She dropped her hands and her steps became less careful. A root caught her foot and she fell onto the soft dirt._

 _"_ _Where are you taking me?" She asked aloud on her hands and knees as she caught her breath._

 _The breeze picked up the curls around her face and the grass start rustling. The rustling turned into a song, each blade of grass singing a song of growth and nature together in harmony. Aurelia leaned back, listening to the song around her. The breeze joined in, a light and airy voice adding a new level to the song. It played with the high branches of the trees, their song strong and low in decibel._

The Force is all around you.

Aurelia moved to follow Snoke into the canyon, the red rock walls rising around them both. She bounced off the rocks that he threw at her with the Force. Boulders weighing tons were pitched at her, and she hopped off of them, spinning out of the way at the last second, letting Snoke lead her farther and farther down the canyon.

She grabbed a brush plant that jutted out of the rock wall. It sang an impassioned song of endurance, a little plant growing out of the cracks of the rock, defying all odds. She yanked it with the Force, feeling the canyon behind it splinter with the Force. Large sarsens broke free and floated in front of Aurelia as she moved towards Snoke, her feet floating fifty meters from the ground.

With a mighty thrust in the Force, Aurelia threw the boulders towards Snoke with a speed that caused them to whistle in the wind. With dark might, he deflected it towards the rock walls, colliding with a deafening crack.

Aurelia could feel Snoke getting frustrated with her volleys. He was on the defense, always maneuvering and deflecting Aurelia's attacks. She had the upper ground and she pressed him towards the bottom of the canyon with the vortex of energy that spun around her. He channeled his hate and irritation into the Dark Side, letting it feed his own power. He was preparing something big, holding back on his attacks and biding his time.

Too bad he wasn't going to live long enough to use whatever he was preparing.

Aurelia was above the river that ran through the canyon and could feel the sinister power of the rapids below her. The river itself was a mix of water and acid and sulfur, polluted with the Dark Side that permeated all living things on this planet. She could taste its sourness in the Force.

With a motion of her hand and a pull in the Force, she guide and stream of water around her body, like a serpent winding its way around a tree. Even though it had been tainted with the Dark Side for hundreds of years, Aurelia could still hear the whispers of a natural song in it. With a hard push, the water struck out like a whip and slashed Snoke against the chest, making a deep wound.

"The Dark Side always loses." She said, letting the water move around her body and readying another attack.

* * *

"Resistance base, _please_ come in." Rey shouted in her hand-held comm as she and Finn slid down the side of the mountain. She was also trying to reach out to Master Luke in the Force, but was only met with the suppressive shields of the Dark Side. "Resistance base, this is Rey, _please_ come in." She begged.

 _"_ _This is Resistance base."_ The comm crackled to life and she watched Finn sigh with relief. _They weren't out of this yet._ She thought as she watched the flashes of lights in the canyon as Aurelia and Snoke fought each other before turning and heading towards the twin stronghold that sat three hundred meters away.

Rey could feel the tears hitch in her throat as she spoke into the mouthpiece. "Ben- I mean, Black Leader is down. I repeat: Black Leader is down."

There was a pause. _"Copy that."_ The voice said hesitantly. _"We have received communication."_

 _How?_ But then the general's face filled Rey's mind. _Oh, no._ Rey almost doubled over with grief. She couldn't imagine what this was doing to General Organa. "We have lost contact with Luke." She said. "He may be in danger."

There was another pause. _"Location?"_

"We don't know, yet." Rey said as she watched Finn pant next to her as the stronghold in front of them grew larger with every step. "We're trying to find him. Can you reroute a detachment towards the East side of the main stronghold? There's a canyon. We're going to need backup there."

 _"_ _Roger."_ The voice on the other end said. _"Rerouting detachment now."_

 _Rey, come to me._

Never in her life had the voice of the Master in her head sounded so sweet.

* * *

Poe felt what was like a sixth sense that overtook him when he sat behind the wheel of his X-Wing. With the pulse of adrenaline in his ears, he could almost feel attacks before they happen. He was one with his ship. His reflexes were quicker and he never let his mind wander. He always thought this was as close to the Force as he could get, but it was enough. Enough to make him the greatest pilot in the Resistance.

With a quick spin of X-Wing and a delighted squeal from BB-8, he shot down another attacking TIE-Fighter, the squeal of their dual-engines stopping abruptly with a spark of red and fire. He glanced out the side window and watched one of his squad mimic his actions, bringing down the re-routed security fleet. "We almost got 'em!" He yelled in his com and came back with the whoops from his team.

 _"_ _Red Leader, this is base, can you copy?"_ A voice over the comm crackled to life.

"This is Red Leader, I copy." Poe said, confusion making his eyebrows pull together.

 _"_ _I need Red Squad to reroute five clicks to the east, towards the canyon there. There has been a request of back-up. Black Leader is down."_

"Black Leader is down?" Surprise ringing high in his voice. A sinking knot of dread dropped low in his gut. _Ben, no._ Poe gripped the handles of the steering console hard and he fought back the urge to punch at everything in cockpit. How could they do that? _He got everything back and they took it all away._ How could they do that to his new friend?

 _"_ _Affirmative. We have received communication that Black Leader is down."_ The voice said robotically, even though Poe recognized the voice and had eaten in the chow hall with him just the evening before. A nice guy with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. _"Do you copy orders?"_

"Roger." Poe said sourly. "Rerouting now."

 _"_ _Roger."_


	41. Chapter 41

_"_ _Chewie! Look!" Ben gripped a handful of curly brown hair at his best friend's knee as he reached on his tip-toes holding up a model ship. The Wookie regarded him for a second, placing the engine mechanism he was working on on the table in the of Falcon before sitting heavily on the floor so that Ben wouldn't have to strain to hand him stuff._

 _Chewbacca barked in his native language and took the model carefully from Ben's outstretched hand, inspecting it._

 _"_ _I made it for you." Ben said as he leaned against the Wookie's shoulder, letting his fingers run through the curly knots of his fur. "It's the Falcon. I thought you could hang it in the cockpit."_

 _Chewbacca yapped a 'thank you' and ruffled Ben's hair. Ben fought him off and jumped into his lap, letting Chewie flip him over with his strong arms, howls of Ben's laughter bouncing off the metal walls of the old freighter. Chewbacca flipped him right side up, his dark curls flying and his cheeks red. The boy picked up the model and handed it back to the Wookie. "It's a present to remind you that we'll be friends forever."_

"You shouldn't be here." Han pulled away from Ben, shaking his head. "You need to go back." They were still sitting in the middle of the shining desert, the colors dancing off the reflections in each other's eyes.

Ben wiped his face with the back of his hand. He didn't want to leave his father. He had just gotten him back. He had played this moment over and over in the darkest parts of the night. He would rehearse how he would apologize, anxiety tightening his chest making him unable to talk or breathe or think. _How could you say sorry to the person you killed? Was it even possible?_ And now he was trying to send him back. "Why?"

Han motioned to his right and Ben looked to see a stream of water where there wasn't before. Rising to his feet, he followed his father to bank and looked into the stream. He was captivated by the way the water shimmered like it was made out of diamonds. It was a kaleidoscope of colors and tones. It almost sang out to Ben, a song of different harmonies that he had never heard before. "It's beautiful."

"Look harder."

Ben pushed the dark hair out of his eyes and squinted at the surface of the stream. Before him the water swirled and transformed into a scene as real as if he was living it himself. He watched Snoke, a dark cloud of energy surrounding him, send bolts of lightning from his fingertips towards Aurelia, who was floating above him. Some of it arced off of her own field of energy that shone and reflected off of her eyes, but most of it Aurelia caught in the chest. She was pushed back off-guard, but managed to push off the wall of the canyon with her feet and regain her position.

 _"_ _I will destroy you!" Snoke snarled. "Like I destroyed Kylo Ren!"_

 _"_ _You will perish under you own hand."_

Snoke blasted again, this time a force so strong it knocked Aurelia out of the air and into the canyon river below her with a large splash. She unsteadily rose to her feet and assumed a defensive position.

 _"_ _What do you expect, girl? You're just a healer."_

 _"_ _And you're just a monster!"_

There was a collision of energies as they both attacked, the bright white of Aurelia's and the black of Snoke's. Enough to break every bone in a body and snap heads from necks.

Ben fell backwards, his butt hitting the soft shimmery sand. "Aurelia's in danger." He breathed, absorbing what he had just witnessed. "She's fighting Snoke."

"She needs you there." Han said and held out his hand so Ben could use it to stand up. "You need to go back to her."

Ben looked at the stream, the colors moving and mixing, separating and then dancing together again. He knew that Aurelia wasn't going to make it through this fight alive, that she needed help. His heart ached at the thought of leaving the person he so desperately wanted to get back to, though. "The only thing I've wanted to do since the night on Starkiller Base was to tell you how wrong I was." He looked into the eyes of his father, which twinkled with the sand. "And bring you back home."

Han clasped the shoulders of his son, a crooked smile on his face. "I can't go home. But you can, and you need to get back there." Han said. "Don't worry, you'll see me again. And, uh, tell your mother that's it's been…uneventful without her. She'll know what I mean."

They embraced together, and Ben squeezed his eyes shut, smelling the leather one last time. When he opened his eyes, he was staring at the dark citadel ceiling, his curly hair plastered to his forehead, panting like he had never tasted air before.

* * *

 _The stronghold is empty_ , Rey noted as she and Finn, still clad in Stormtrooper gear ran through the uniform hallways, only slowing enough to turn corners. _They must've been evacuated._ She could feel Master Luke in the center of the complex, waves of the Force pulsing off of him.

"Rey, look out!" Finn said, the muzzle of his blaster coming up. Rey was quicker though, her lightsaber activating in her hand as she faced the Stormtrooper guards, their masks expressionless as she cut them down. _That's for Aurelia._ She thought as she watched them collapsed in a pile of white plexi.

She turned to her friend, his face gleaming with sweat, but his eyes set in determination and nodded to keep going. The adrenaline pumped in her head, making her pulse loud in her eyes as she continued to run down the hallway.

Finally they came to a blast door. Rey closed her eyes and breathed, gathering the Force to her. She could feel the form of Master Luke beyond it. There was no trick from Snoke this time. It was really him.

She forced open the door with a protested whine, and found herself in an empty prison block. The Stormtrooper guards were on the floor at her feet and Master Luke sat in the cell at the farther end, sitting in the middle of the floor in a meditative position.

"Master!" She called, relief lighting up her chest, but he didn't open his eyes or look up. She and Finn approached slowly. Luke's face was sweating and his jaw was set, like he was physically straining against something. A struggle in the Force. "Master?" She tried again, but he didn't flinch.

 _Next lesson._ His voice reverberated in her head. She could see a slight smile cross his face. _Is battle meditation._


End file.
